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Original poster

Did I react to this ‘breakup’ well?

168 replies

Optimistic199 · 02/03/2019 23:26

I met a guy & we really got on. He would make lots of effort & there was a lot of chemistry.
Anyway, this morning I was on watsap and so was he.: whenever I would go offline so would he and when I would come back online so would he. He usually watsaps me as soon as he wakes up but today he didn’t I was about to say hello when he randomly text me ‘I don’t want to speak to you anymore’

I was a bit baffled but just said lol ok to which he replied ‘I’m serious’ I then replied back saying yes I’m serious too ok. And I then deleted him which I know would have really wound him up ( he would have seen my watsap pic go) he then deleted me too as his also went

It was a bit weird. We spoke on the phone last night for a couple of hours (as usual) and just on Tuesday he kept on saying he wanted a baby with me!!!

I have no idea why he would just randomly text me that. I would like to know why he had a sudden change of heart but I didnt want to embarrass myself so just left it but part of me thinks maybe he was testing me to get a reaction? This is something he’d do

Was I wrong to go with what he said without an explanation??

OP posts:
BrusselPout · 03/03/2019 12:17

Just read your last update, so that's 3 opportunities to beg him not to go and tell him how wonderful he is - he is clearly NOT someone you want to be in a relationship with!

wishywashy6 · 03/03/2019 12:17

Honestly OP he sounds like a dick. Stay well away.
My alcoholic ex was very similar. One minute he was head over heels in love with me, I was his soulmate etc then the next he was vile and nasty. Or went awol for days and thrives off the fact I was worried about him.

I too should have left far sooner than I did (although I do feel like a completely stronger person having been through that shite)

He's a game player, sounds like you've seen through it though Smile

BrusselPout · 03/03/2019 12:18

@Spacecadetagain, I'm sorry for what you've been through Thanks

lifegoes · 03/03/2019 12:19

Agree with @Spacecadetagain I've had exactly the same situation.

Couldn't do enough for me at the start. I was the one. The only person that's ever understood him. His ex was mental. Then he changed, manipulated me, Would say, he couldn't do this any more. He couldn't trust me (I'd done nothing wrong) I'd ask him to give me a chance. He obv would. He wouldn't speak to me for days and then come back saying he couldn't believe I wasn't sorry for not texting him. Or Id obv been with someone else and that the love he has for me must mean nothing.

After a months I found out he was still happily married with his wife and had lots of other women on the go.

Only after I walked away did I realise how badly he had manipulated and controlled me.

He will come back believe us, he will. A narcissist has to be in control. Block him so he can't.

Original poster
Optimistic199 · 03/03/2019 12:21

When he said it won’t work out I said yeh that’s fine that’s why I deleted your number so why you ringing me he then switched it up and mentioned the makeup!! Haha what a prick

OP posts:
wishywashy6 · 03/03/2019 12:23

And yes he will come back. It's been over a year since I had any contact with my twat of an ex and despite being blocked he still finds ways to try get back in touch.
I never respond and always block whatever number or method he's tried to contact me on. It's the only way with someone like that, they feed on knowing they've had any affect on you at all and any response from you is a 'win' in their eyes

lifegoes · 03/03/2019 12:25

That's exactly what he's doing OP trying to manipulate you. Don't be fooled, you have got out early enough and seen the true him. He will get worse if you continue it.

Spacecadetagain · 03/03/2019 12:31

Lifegoes . That’s awful . He sounds like a carbon copy of my ex . I think the only reason I’m not breaking my heart after this discard is because I found the proof of all his lies and although it’s so painful I am utterly done with him . Does these abusive twats go to a special college to learn their MO ? It’s all so similar

Waytooearly · 03/03/2019 12:32

OP I'm sorry you've had to deal with this loser, but I like your style!

He tried to do this traumatic breakup and you were like, 'OK lol'.

Then he made another attempt at drama over the phone and you were like, 'Yeah I know, you just told me.'

And then out of desperation he tried insulting and you were all, 'OK thanks.'

So awesome.

But really now block him, and don't answer any unfamiliar numbers. Sounds like just have a morbid curiosity now to see what other nonsense he'll say, but seriously he'll just get worse.

Spacecadetagain · 03/03/2019 12:37

Hecwill suck you in if you let him . He will come back telling you he made a mistake /was just confused/ blah blah blah what ever bullshit comes out if his mouth and if he catches you at a weak point you are screwed .ilI will put money on him having already sleotvwith someone or having someone else lined up

Spacecadetagain · 03/03/2019 12:37

Sorry my iPhone keeps autocorrecting badly !

lifegoes · 03/03/2019 12:38

Space if I hadn't found out about his wife I think I would have been worse. It took time to get over all the lies and mainly how stupid I had been. I'm quite an intelligent woman yet I changed who I was and couldn't see what was happening.

I can't believe the amount of stories I hear now about men acting like this. The love bombing and narcissistic traits are all over. It's actually mental abuse and I'm very surprised it doesn't get more coverage than it does with media.

Original poster
Optimistic199 · 03/03/2019 12:42

Waytooearly - haha I don’t think he is used to the way I acted based on what he has said about his exes.

I’m definitely not going to answer his calls if he does try ringing again. I was a bit annoyed that I’d allowed him to tell me over the phone he didn’t like me, however when I told him yeah I know i already deleted your number I could tell he was annoyed! So
I’m glad I got to tell him that he was so worthless to me that I didn’t even need an explanation as to why he didn’t want to speak to me and proceeded to delete his number!

OP posts:
bobstersmum · 03/03/2019 12:43

What. A. Freak.

QueenOfIce · 03/03/2019 12:49

Block the number

Iloveacurry · 03/03/2019 12:52

Sounds like you’ve had a lucky escape.

Dextrodependant · 03/03/2019 13:09

You couldn't have handled that any better, you should be proud of yourself .

Classic abusive behaviour designed to keep you on the back foot.

Original poster
Optimistic199 · 03/03/2019 13:11

Thanks. I was regretting answering his call but I guess he had seen how it really didn’t bother me so I’m glad I did.

OP posts:
sagradafamiliar · 03/03/2019 13:16

You didn't play into his hands and he's gutted so rang you for another go. You still didn't play along so expect to hear from him again for more fun and games. I strongly, strongly suggest blocking him across every available platform. You've had the luckiest of escapes.

category12 · 03/03/2019 13:16

Because you were resistant to moving things on faster and didn't heed his shot across the bows about changing your photo on the app so often, he decided to cut you off to scare you into begging him back and doing what he wants.

It must have really vexed him Grin when you didn't, so he couldn't help but try to get the upper hand with the phone call.

Well done on not getting suckered into his games. Don't second guess yourself, other than why you gave him a chance considering the red flags with multiple "mad" exes, lack of access to his dc, and all the too much too soon.

Hellywelly10 · 03/03/2019 13:32

Dont answer your front door if your not expecting anyone op.

Spacecadetagain · 03/03/2019 13:38

My ex did the same when he dumped me on Monday .. when I didn’t react he decided to get the knife in by listing all my dreadful faults and shortcomings no doubt designed to slam my self esteem leaving me feeling shit about myself and ultimately beg him back

Spacecadetagain · 03/03/2019 13:38

You’ve dodged a bullet

OhamIreally · 03/03/2019 14:39

Optimistic you are fab! I'm loving imagining him scratching his head and wondering how it went wrong!

Original poster
Optimistic199 · 03/03/2019 14:43

Im getting a whole load of witheld number calls and calls off other numbers! I haven’t answered any of the calls

You were all right when you said he would try contacting me again, I didn’t think he would.

Anyway I’ll switch my phone off and not waste any more time thinking of it all

OP posts:
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