Relationship ended.. anyone else?

[dilly123]

Relationship ended today.. I know I'll be ok because I've been through worse but today I'm just feeling sad & disappointed..

For anyone else in the same boat.. sending you & positive thoughts!

Can't thank everyone enough though for letting me sound off .. I really had no one in RL who I could do that with.
None that wouldn't have said well we told you so or think that I was just being stupid to be so upset in the great scheme of things. X

I am on day 5 of ending my relationship, I have counselling booked and also on the list for the freedom programme. I was with a abusive partner for four years both physical and emotional. I finally feel ready to break free and a weight has been lifted and already I feel less tense and stressed.
I keep having anxious moments thinking about all the what ifs, then I try to remind myself that it was a toxic relationship and even the good times so to speak I was walking on eggshells and it was all about making him happy. I'm trying to keep myself busy and positive thinking about my future and be kind to myself. It helps reading others posts to remind myself I'm not the only person going through this.

@hiddengem86

Well done for breaking free & good luck. X

Thank you dilly123. I have been trying to keep busy with the kids, seeing them laugh and smile is so great i can't not smile myself. And have been writing down anything I want to do this year just so I have things to look forward too. Although I want to lay down and sleep for eternity.
Just remember it will get easier as time goes on, baby steps, take each day as it comes and every time you sit thinking of all the what ifs, change your mindset. Good luck!

@bombaygin

You are not useless & please definitely get the help you need.
The pain you are feeling will subside in time but right now we all have to concentrate on getting through that time if meds help then get them.

I have found this post so helpful, everyone is so kind & understanding. It's very easy for those friends who have been in a happy relationship for a long time to forget how heartbreak feels, while I know they mean well I don't need them slagging him off or telling me he'll regret it & be back again (for the 4th time) .. I've been through worse than this divorce, child loss (what some might call 1st world problems) but doesn't mean I'm immune to pain. Today I'm feeling stronger but it will take a long time to get back to where I was before.. doing it a day at a time.

Well I'm back home for the first time since he left. I allowed myself 5 mins of tears then got on with stuff. School shirts are in the machine and I'm about to go and sort out dinner. Luckily my mum has made something for me so I only need to re heat it and make rice.

I did text him though. But only to say thank you for something he had done when he left

I cracked and messaged him on what's app now wish I hadn't feel so stupid. Should've just left it. Feeling so crap now. Sad, lonely and just can't be bothered to do anything.

@Olikingcharles

Don't beat yourself up over it.. call it a setback if he hasn't even had the decency to reply then he doesn't care about your feelings & learn from it.. use that hurt to gain strength. If I hadn't deleted all contact details I'd have messaged in the last few days for sure.

@PorpentinaScamander

Keep busy, maybe have a furniture move around or buy a few new bits make the place more you than him.

Hugs x

Thanks dilly

Its so hard. He must have planned this because he had somewhere to go. In which case why were we making plans for the weekend on Thursday night. He must have known he wouldn't be here.

My relationship ended on Friday. Had a feeling it was coming. Kids are devastated, daughter taking it the hardest. I feel ok through the day and ready to get sorted for the future but once the evening comes I feel like I'm falling apart all over again. I can't believe this is happening even though I know it should.

Hugs Impractical

Well he replied to me message
I told him I love him and he said he loves me too. This is so hard

@PorpentinaScamander We still love each other but we're just not in love with each other. We've become best friends. We've been together for 21 years, since we were 16. It's still hard because I don't want him to be with anyone else and I know one day that will happen. I'm starting to feel sick again tonight and that familiar feeling in my chest is coming back. To make our situation even more complicated my ex suffers from numerous health conditions and today is in hospital, his liver is not working properly. Oh and my washer is broken so I'm having to keep taking loads of washing down to his mums for her to do. FML

@ImpracticalJoke

That's hard. Unfortunately for me he decided he didn't want to be a step parent. Which is fair enough. I can't make him want my children, and I won't put him before them. Hurts like hell though. We were together almost 2 years so no where near as long as you. I hope your ex is better soon and that you get a new washer! What a pain! I've had friends offer to do laundry and cook and all sorts. And my children are being wonderful
Helping with all the chores they usually moan about!

@bombaygin
I know exactly how you feel... reading your words I felt I could have written them. Last time this happened I went to such a dark place...I was on Ads ,beta blockers, and had counseling...in a weird way this is what is helping me now...I never ever want to be there again.
I promised he wouldn't do it to me again!
No one should have that kind of power over another!

How is everyone feeling today?
I feel awful. I want to cry but I'm worried I won't stop if I do. I want to text him and beg him to try again but I know that's not fair. I feel sick but eating makes me feel worse.

Sad, disappointed and lonely...I wish I could do something. All.i can do is wait and hope he misses me but so worried if he doesn't.

Strength to you all.
PorpentiaScamander maybe some time to cry it all out is what you need... Crying is healthy. It's all so raw and intense- maybe crying is the right thing right now. Just try to manage what you can.

I'm feeling resentful that he feels he can do whatever he likes irrespective of consequences.

Hope everybody is doing ok.
I'm struggling to sleep. It's back to school for the kids tomorrow and back to work for me so trying to be organised tonight and make myself tired. It's helping to take my mind off things too as this is when I seem to struggle.
Anyone who needs to cry just let it out! Or you could end up breaking down in your corner shop because they've run out of Wispas. I woke up yesterday morning and sobbed my heart out. Felt better afterwards. Kids and I went for a walk today and had a laugh. I'm so glad they're picking up and
I'm so glad I joined mumsnet. I don't feel as alone now.

I ended up going round to the church and crying all over the secretary
Then I cried some more and then went for a coffee with a friend.

I really want to message him and beg him to come back but I don't want to make him hate me.
Part of me thinks (Hope's?) He'll realise how much he misses me and come back.

I wonder if hes hurting as much as me

Love to everyone today..

I'm still feeling ok, much stronger than I have been anyway. Successfully just knocking any thoughts of him out of my mind when they occur.. sounds strange but using almost like a visualisation thing with a huge red boxing glove & his face!! 🤣🙈👊🏻.. it's working so far!

Even when we were apart in between relationships I was controlled by him, dressed up to the nines incase I bumped into him, avoided being friends with people he didn't like & not dating anyone else incase he thought I was sleeping around.. I refuse to allow him to do that anymore.. I've no longer got him on a pedestal because quite frankly he doesn't deserve to be!!

Hoping everyone has a brighter day tomorrow xx

@bombaygin

I understand how you feel & it would devastate me when I hear he is dating again.

He had this image that because many of his friends are wealthy & successful that he was too & he loved that truth is the flash car is a company car & he is about to have his house repossessed due to long term drug addiction. I knew for years about his problem with drugs & I felt sad for him. He opened up about all this & asked if I was disappointed in him, I wasn't & said so he said that was why he liked me so much because I wasn't out for what I could get & he could be himself around me. I loved him despite his faults, problems, quirks, his odd family, his lack of attentiveness & affection & that he was no Brad Pitt if I wasn't enough for him I don't know what he expects to find.
But I do know I'm done there will be no 4th time I couldn't go this pain again