My boyfriend of 5 years just got his penis out in front of me and my friend

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Right. He had a habit of doing this a while back until I told him it was fucking unacceptable. His old friends laugh about it - he's a bit joker and is used to getting away with murder because he such a flipping character, not to mention a massive player. He says he thinks it's just funny but he must be being disingenuous.

I spelled out a few years ago that this was fucking unacceptable. If for no other reason that it made me feel horrible and disrespected. So he stopped all that crazy shit and has been very loving and attentive for years. I so wanted to believe he had changed. He's changed in so many ways, calmed down, got older basically and realised he likes his life with me.

So my oldest friend came over tonight. We hung out, caught up, drank wine. He came back around 10 a little tipsy from the pub after watching rugby, so far so normal. So my friend and I were dancing around the kitchen, he was reading his phone, facebook, football, etc. Just very low key. I don't know what it was but I sensed my friend and he were being a bit flirty. Next thing he has his semi erect cock out.

I went mad and told him that he knew it was unacceptable. I left the room and told them to get on with it. She left after trying to comfort me, but I said I was fine just obviously pissed off.

He then gets all defensive, says he was just having a laugh, Kept saying sorry, and when I was still pissed off, all the "how many times can I say I'm sorry." Then "I was drunk" and I said so what if I'm not with you and you get drunk - what might happen then?. Tried to explain that it was a sexual thing, it wasn't his foot. He was basically pissed off with me...just that kind of defensive anger.

I thought he'd changed, but now I'm back to thinking I can't trust him. God please tell me how you would react. He said I was overreacting. I just want to make him realise how shit this is. So tell me how you would feel and what you would do. I'm calm but on the verge of thinking I should end it. By the way, we have a wonderful time together, spend loads of time together and laugh every day so it's a really good relationship. I need advice please please.....oh god men

I prefer being in relationships with actual adults, not teenagers...🤷🏻‍♀️

To me he doesn't sound all that great but thats just me.

‘A massive player’?

I have a mate who 'hilariously' used to whip it out. Now divorced BTW.

But flirting then semi-erect? He's hoping for a threesome. Loudly. Unless you're into that, he's not the man for you.

If he can't genuinely understand why this is so wrong, and apologise to both of you for it, then yeah, it's over, surely?

Ide call that sexual harassment, and he's lucky your mate didn't call the police on him

I would hope he’s not your bf anymore after this show!

I know he probably was hoping for a threesome - i know its worked for him in the past..but .... oh god I should leave shouldn't I? But we've had such a wonderful time over the last few years..I'm on the wrong side of 50...would I be throwing the baby out with the bathwater? Or shall I take lonely but not having to now worry what the fuck he might get up to next? Great choices aren't they? But I will not be mugged off...is this a sacking offence? I'm confused...

He's over 50 and still doing this?

This isn't a joke, it's predatory (and pathetic) behavior. My very first LTB.

Your boyfriend indecently exposed himself to your friend. You are not the only victim here.

Yes it’s a sacking offence! Absolutely! If it was one of my friend’s husband’s or boyfriends, I’d feel like I had been sexually harassed and I wouldn’t want to see him again - ever! It’s not fun for you and it’s not fun for your friend, either! He’s making non-sexual situations into porn scenes involving him! He has a problem, and it’s become yours as long as you continue to tolerate it. You have to explain to him that what he sees in porn flicks does not happen on real life. No one is going to fall down and gratefully worship at the altar of his dick just because he’s whipped it out - it’s more likely to get him single and/or arrested.

In that vein I'd tell him next time one of his mates are visiting he won't mind you flirting and flashing your breasts if it's all such harmless fun.

Hugely disrespectful of both of you, predatory behaviour and not lighthearted at all. Sounds like you feel your friend was complicit in a way, to see them both as flirting? Don't let his massively unreasonable gesture be seen to be her fault, she's a victim here and likely feeling awful now to have been put in that position. You can definitely do better op. Don't stoop to stay with him.

Btw - I think we can all agree, "I was drunk" is the most pathetic excuse ever. There is no acceptable excuse for this behaviour. Ever.

Urgh.

He’s gross. No excuse for his behaviour.

I don't think you are being at all unreasonable. It does sound like indecent exposure, and I know I couldn't live with someone who thought it was OK to do that.

Are you sure your friend was flirting, or was she embarrassed by him? He might have made her feel very uncomfortable.

I’d loose all respect and in my mind consider him low class. I’d deserve better too. Sorry OP

It's actually a sort of fetishistic compulsion for some men. These are men who might flash....I had a friend in uni who did it.

Hes a horrible pervy nasty flasher.

Yes it's a sackable offence. You say he is a "player" as well - what has led to you being with this guy OP? He sounds rank.

Oh Lordy, that’s vile. Wait until you’re both sober though, before discussing.

For the sake of your self respect- he needs to go.

I keep trying to picture this happening.like actually trying to get a picture of this scenario in my head...and I cant! because its ust cant happen right? he just took his knob out.and had it there,in the open. how is someone decent standing there like that.i don't get it.and I don't like it.