My boyfriend of 5 years just got his penis out in front of me and my friend

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Right. He had a habit of doing this a while back until I told him it was fucking unacceptable. His old friends laugh about it - he's a bit joker and is used to getting away with murder because he such a flipping character, not to mention a massive player. He says he thinks it's just funny but he must be being disingenuous.

I spelled out a few years ago that this was fucking unacceptable. If for no other reason that it made me feel horrible and disrespected. So he stopped all that crazy shit and has been very loving and attentive for years. I so wanted to believe he had changed. He's changed in so many ways, calmed down, got older basically and realised he likes his life with me.

So my oldest friend came over tonight. We hung out, caught up, drank wine. He came back around 10 a little tipsy from the pub after watching rugby, so far so normal. So my friend and I were dancing around the kitchen, he was reading his phone, facebook, football, etc. Just very low key. I don't know what it was but I sensed my friend and he were being a bit flirty. Next thing he has his semi erect cock out.

I went mad and told him that he knew it was unacceptable. I left the room and told them to get on with it. She left after trying to comfort me, but I said I was fine just obviously pissed off.

He then gets all defensive, says he was just having a laugh, Kept saying sorry, and when I was still pissed off, all the "how many times can I say I'm sorry." Then "I was drunk" and I said so what if I'm not with you and you get drunk - what might happen then?. Tried to explain that it was a sexual thing, it wasn't his foot. He was basically pissed off with me...just that kind of defensive anger.

I thought he'd changed, but now I'm back to thinking I can't trust him. God please tell me how you would react. He said I was overreacting. I just want to make him realise how shit this is. So tell me how you would feel and what you would do. I'm calm but on the verge of thinking I should end it. By the way, we have a wonderful time together, spend loads of time together and laugh every day so it's a really good relationship. I need advice please please.....oh god men

I thought you were going to say he was in his late 20s/early 30s or something

Jesus Chris this is fucking grotesque!!
“Men” my arse, I have never ever known a man to be so revolting, perverse and predatory.
Do you have DC living in the same house as this vile human?

The issue is a large one and isn’t just the flashing. Flashing can be like a gate way high, soon it won’t be enough, he won’t get enough of the reaction he wants and then he might attack.

Flashing isn’t an innocent drunken joke, even though he plays it down. He was sexually aroused just getting it out. Some young lads do get it out and my ex did, it was never erect, he played rugby and a lot of them did it along with pranks. I still thought it was gross and he grew out of it.

The fact it was erect makes this whole situation more sinister. Rapists can start out as flashers.

www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/world/2001/apr/19/gender.uk

Well said, poppy

I'm not desperate for a man but sometimes it's so difficult to get perspective when you are in a relationship. The threesome thing was that he's done this before with other people (before me - I don't know about during) and it worked. I guess that says a lot about the other people. I have had issues with boundaries in the past but this time I don't feel I can let it go. It's just good to get other people's opinions when your head is all over the place. Thank you

character
player
No. He is a knob. Get rid.

What... the actual fuck?

When I read the OP I thought you were maybe a very immature early 20s but you're over 50 and your boyfriend thinks it's acceptable to just whap his wang out in the hope someone might fancy a go?

He sounds delightful...

OP, there’s no such thing as the wrong side of 50.

You owe it to yourself to have the best life you can and it’s never too late to start again.

I'm sorry OP. That sounds awful, when I first read your post I was thinking early twenties at the moment... but over 50 and he's still doing it. Sorry but I don't think he's a "character" he is a twat. I wouldn't lower myself to put up with that.

Better to be alone than with that knob, literally. Disgusting behaviour on his part, he’s just a dirty old man, yuck!! Does this pervert really deserve you, really?

Most men get over thinking their penis is a big deal by the time they're 20. The fact that, in his 50s, he still thinks it's hilarious to get it out is really quite pathetic.

Why would you put up with that sort of behaviour? - get rid of him, you deserve better than that.

does he watch a lot of porn ? sounds like a porno movie

Ewww

Flirting with my friend would have been enough for a ltb

Flirting with my friend - in front of me - is so disrespectful and humiliating.

Trying to coerce a threesome is so gross.

Flashing like that is beyond inappropriate. Clearly he has a huge sense of sexual entitlement. That is a gigantic red flag.

Eww ew ew

I'm not desperate for a man but sometimes it's so difficult to get perspective when you are in a relationship.

Sorry but you do sound desperate simply by putting up with this and thinking you are 'undatable' as you are over 50.

Being in a relationship should not mean you lose your judgement or boundaries over something as bad as this!

If you cannot see it immediately for that it is, you do have problems with boundaries.

I suspect you also have low self esteem and maybe even a history of being in abusive relationships, or choose the 'wrong' men.

His behaviour is not about a 3-some. It's vile, abusive.

Please think about getting yourself some counselling because to me this sounds as if your judgement of what you are worth and should accept is way off the mark.

OP. Do you think your friend was interested in his flirting then?

He’s what we used to call “a dirty old man” and you should get rid.

It really reads like you're not going to leave him and your "men" at the end of your Op is a little embarrassing. It's not men. It's him. He's a dick and a disgusting one at that. Hopefûlly your friend will tell people and then you won't have to worry about him doing it again as no one will come round to be intimidated

This is very strange, inappropriate does not even come close to the description. He has also made a complete ass out of you . Then I read your ages and I have to say, he would be gone for me. Something is deeply wrong with this, you could have a lovely normal bloke with other idiosyncrasies that you don't like but pulling out his cock would not be one of them. March him off at the start of this week, you are doing yourself a disservice staying with a tool like this.

Things will not get better with this man.

"It is vile, perverted behaviour and you ought to see that for what it is.

If not, you need to take a long hard look at yourself and your values."

This sums it up.

The threesome thing was that he's done this before with other people (before me - I don't know about during) and it worked. I guess that says a lot about the other people

No, it says a lot about your boyfriend.

Its not men its him OP. And your men comment at the end of your initial post is embarrassing to say the least.

What did you learn about relationships when you were growing up?. Is your own relationship history to date crap, there are reasons why that is if so. You are not supposedly undateable just because you are over 50 but your boundaries are still not spot on. Men like this individual can sense desperation from women a mile off and exploit that accordingly.

So the DOM pulled out his wrinkly old member and for some reason thought it was funny and sexy? (Apparently Chris Evans used to do that too). What is wrong with these men? Yuck!