Dating Thread 148 - Having a Fab Time!

[TooOldForThis67]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Ah coco that’s difficult. I guess it depends how important the physical side is for you. I met a lovely guy for a couple of weeks, was soo nice but the spark just wasn’t there. Maybe I’m a bitch. I don’t do nice nice think I’d get bored 😐

MIA I never thought about it like that.

With it being him asking to describe myself three times. I would expect someone to remember. It's not like he's asked my fav kind of tea

Leonasa Malboro I just said I'm sure I've told you this.

I'll give him the benefit of the doubt this once.

Coco that's tricky, I like a bit of an 'edge' in a man to make me feel attracted😕

lifegoes I'd be a bit put off by that question in the first place!! And if you've given him an articulate precis of yourself, and he's interested, why the fuck can't he remember?! It's not like he asked you for your favourite food or something.

Morning everyone
koko - that's what I've done. Don't need any more drama in my life.

Got 8 irons on the go, sounds good but it's early days so haven't named them yet, lol.

@CocoKoko123 I'm having exactly the same issue with MrB. However I would say he's definitely not too nice in bed 🤷

Bat that's exactly my issue. At first I joked and said I was a man. Second time I was all well this is me... blah blah third time I'm like WHAT?!

Yet he texts all the time. I'm just going to see how he is Sunday. Asks me again and I'll be all 👋🏻

I’m meant to be spending the day with Mr SA, he kept on about combining over as early as possible, he’s already a hour late ☹️. Sat here waiting.

Coming

Coco I’m wondering the same about a spark developing and whether going for men who excite me is a mistake and I should be going for ones who make me feel safe instead. I’d definitely give it a few more dates before ruling him out.

Good luck for Sunday life I definitely think it’s a good idea to go ahead and see how he is in person.

Oh that’s rubbish Love has he been in touch to say why he’s late?

Coco I'm having the same problem with Mr Not Very Available. Date 2 tomorrow and while I know it'll be nice. I don't want nice, I want sparks and fanny gallops. If I'm not feeling it tomorrow then there won't be a date 3.

Love that's crap. Hope he turns up soon.

lifegoes repeating a question would annoy me but if everything else seems ok, then I wouldn't dwell on it too much

Hopefully Love is otherwise engaged now

I've got a coffee date at 11. It's an old OLD iron, lol. We've chatted on and off for ages but never got around to a date. Not expecting much but ya never know.

Good luck TooOld you never know, sometimes it happens with the ones you least expect

RE: instant chemistry stuff. I was actually discussing this with an old iron who’s now a mate last night. I think it’s really difficult when you feel that instant heavy attraction to slow it down, even if you’re consciously trying to do it. Sometimes it’d be okay but other times perhaps would blind you to major incompatibilities.

I’m seeing my guy tonight - his nickname would be too distinctive but I’ll call him Mr MA as it reflects one of his interests :) potential of sleepover at the weekend so I’m looking forward to it. He’s really consistent, which is a trait that I like.

I often think that we all say that we want someone thoughtful/kind/considerate etc but then sometimes we discard people that fit that brief because of the ‘spark’ issue. I have had strong sexual chemistry with people on early dates but I agree with @MIA12 that those situations generally haven’t turned out well. Mr MA is a genuine slow burner and he has behaved impeccably so far, with grace and good humour. :)

Yeah I agree, you have to have a little bit of attraction (if you really can't imagine even kissing them for example i would say it's an issue) but I think things can develop and grow, and in my experience the situations where I've felt overwhelming instant chemistry have generally blown up in my face, usually quite painfully!

I think it's worth giving things a few dates to see, agree that you don't want to lead someone up the garden path but you're not agreeing to a relationship at this stage.

TooOld I've also got about 8 irons :) I find it quite exhausting though, I need to whittle em down! ☺️

I think as long as he doesn’t turn you off then it sounds like it has legs. Nice to meet someone you actually know and have shared history with. That would be my ideal rather than all these random weirdos!!!

I had a lovely date once with Mr Professor. We had a good laugh, for a bit tipsy, he was nice looking. But when he hugged me at the end my body literally jumped away from him. It was a massive surprise to me as I expected to snog him but my body had other ideas!!

Yes leonasa the ones with instant chemistry haven’t worked out for me either so far. It’s v. addictive though.

Now I’ve been ghosted by two men (one I met offline, one I met on tinder) I was thinking of adding something on my profile like ‘I’ll always let you know if I don’t want to take things any further rather than ghosting you. If you can’t extend the same courtesy please swipe left.’ Does that sound bitter or angsty? Just really want to avoid the sort of men who think it’s ok to ghost. It really leaves you questioning yourself in a way that doesn’t happen when you go your separate ways amicably.

Glad you had a nice date Notcoolmum but curveball about the hug! Will you see him again?

This thread is going too quickly for me. With regards to instant attraction I was friends with stbexh for a long time before I fancied him and once I knew I liked him things turned passionate very quickly and we were still having good sex right up until we separated. This is why OLD probably isn't for me because there are probably some nice guys out there and I won't necessarily ever get to know them well enough for the fanny gallops.

So my update is that I joined Match about a week ago and had lots of men favouriting me and winking at me. Well I sent messages to a couple and they have actually blocked me which is odd as they were the ones who approached me in the first place. Then there was Mr Pest who kept messaging me with 'OK sexy?' and no intelligent conversation.

So we're left with two irons I've been messaging. Both are in their 50s, so older than me, sending quite nice respectful messages and chat. One has asked to meet up and it's proving hard for me to do so because of babysitting but I would like to meet him. I feel I need to just date someone / snog them / maybe sex even because it's been 20 years since I last did that but I am worried that I won't ever get to know him / anyone enough to get the fanny gallops. Anyway I will continue to message both guys and hopefully meet one next weekend.

This thread moves way too fast, however I wanted to ask you all your advice on something...

Me and my date and are doing very well, lots of dates, see each other most days and even met for breakfast yesterday just to see each other! Anyway, so today she leaves her full time job to run a B&B with her parents and I want to get her something, obviously as a good luck thing but not flowers as that’s so basic. Does anyone have any ideas? Like what would you get someone who is starting their own business?! I need it for tonight though so can’t order online!

Auba14 I would go to a garden centre and get a ready planted pot with things like daffodils in it. Looks good now but an be planted in the garden or left in the pot for next year. Still flowers but more permanent.

MIA I wouldn't add that to your profile. Makes you look at bit grumpy and bitter. The ones who will ghost will do it anyway.

Auba or a nice diary/notebook type thing?

MIA I agree, don't do it, I understand why you'd want to but when I see things like that on men's profiles I find it off-putting

Thanks for the suggestions guys, I’m sure one of those would fit very well.

I’d bought flowers and a card on Tuesday when I was meant to go up after work - except she cancelled and then I found out some girl had sent her love letters and her head was screwed up. Not because of her, but because she’s the most honest person in the world and didn’t know how to tell me! So I’d planned to go up with these flowers and card and ask her to be my girlfriend, and obviously that didn’t happen. So now I need a new plan, hence asking you guys! But a diary sounds like a brilliant plan, and also a plant thingy from the garden centre. I’m sure she’d appreciate anything as she doesn’t expect people being nice to her which is odd. However, this is a testament that online dating really does work! We get on so well and she gets me, I couldn’t be happier right now.

Back from my date with MrTeeth. Lovely bloke and quite nice looking until he smiles. He's got 2 very prominent front teeth that are a bit crooked. He's not working and lives with his ex M-I-L!! We got on great tho. I ended the date by saying 'lets do it again sometime'. Just felt a bit sorry for him I'm too soft, I know. He agreed, walked off then came back and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Defo not relationship or sex material but could be friends with him.

Aubu - Glad it's going so well. Will the B&B restrict her time with you?
Stealth - After a few dates you'll get into the swing of things and find out what works for you.
MIA12 - I hate being ghosted. I'd rather they say something, even if it's negative. I agree with op about not putting it on your profile tho.
leonasa - The trouble with so many irons, you have to make a written list of them so you know which one you are msg. One of mine knows I have a date today and he said he's happy to join the queue, so he's already earned brownie points but probably meant he's just looking for a shag.