Dating Thread 148 - Having a Fab Time!

[TooOldForThis67]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Hope you're ok TooOld - he sounds like an absolute prince :/ I can understand why you want to tell his wife but I think you'd open a huge can of worms ...

user are you likely to dtd soon?

lifegoes well yeah,but it need to get hard first! I'm probably been over sensitive

user - he made her sound like a cross between Mary Poppins and a Stepford Wife, lol. But, yep, that's what he told me. I was a gullible fool. He's still msg me asking about it!
So, you and MrGG - lots of dates then! The suspense is killing us, and you most likely!

bat i'm child free for the night a week on Friday so stopping over then. But will see him before that as he's only a few miles away and I can pop in during day. Could have done it today but I said lets go shopping. I think i'm avoiding it

I am thinking he has had all these women and i'm just a village vanilla girl. Maybe he can show me the ropes? Actually,i will try and look at it positively!

User I think you need to DTD. Only way forward

user - hopefully it wont turn out like my MrBE - Christian Grey crossed with Hulk Hogan desperately can't think of anyone else. Lol.

You're right lifegoes. Sooner the better I think x

haha too,I've already told him i'm not doing any weird shit!

TooOld 😂😂 that paints quite the picture!

Sorting yes possibly! I may give it a go. I think it will come down to finding the right person. The trick will be finding someone I like enough to have good sex with but not enough to want to have something more. It's a fine line... and I am also a bit worried I am mentally going down this path as really I want to see Mr Non-Monogamous again (aaaarrgggh), but that would really be playing with fire i think. In some ways he would be a good FWB but I think there is also potential for me to get hurt there.

There is Mr WannabeActor almost 10 years younger than me who I might try instead, he is rather good looking and I think probably safer as I would know it just wouldn't work...

lovemusic -yes we all do make mistakes, but from what you have detailed, at no point have you suggested telling the wife/partner (I don’t agree with what you’ve done knowingly, but that’s life)

lifegoes Correct- you don’t know me!

Too old my frustration at your post was that it appeared that during the time you stated you where having an affair, did you you then give his wife any concerns?

If you’re only aggrieved now, because of his attentions, then ask yourself why, but don’t fuck her life up, unless you are willing to admit where you came in.

How do you all feel about a guy you are speaking to continuously asking the same question?

Perspective: Mr G who I'm taking to has now said 3 times: how would you describe yourself.

I have answered this twice already and I know it's came up through me making fun that he hasnt seen me yet. But still, 3 times ?

lifegoes I would assume he’s talking to several people and can’t remember what he has asked whom. I get a bit paranoid when people ask me something I have already told them, I know some guys just forget but to ask the same question several times either means they haven’t listened to your previous answer or they can’t remember if they asked you or not (due to talking to many others).

Yeah I think that love Which I don't mind, br if you can't remember 1/2 people saying it. Means how many you swapped numbers with.

I mean I'm meeting this guy at the weekend.

I'm afraid to say that was my thought too Lifegoes

I find it a bit off-putting if guys don't remember big things or ask me the same thing repeatedly, even if it's not because they are talking to multiple people it certainly suggests they aren't really paying attention to me.

spin - go and be bitter somewhere else, please. You are welcome to join the thread of course but don't just butt in with negative comments. Play nice. We are all friends here. We've all made mistakes. Difference is, these people having been following me and I them. We are learning by our mistakes. I didn't post a separate thread. It's within this thread, where I feel safe.

@leonasa that's what I think. I meeting him this weekend We text all the time and he remembers other stuff and replies straight away to my messages.

But I'm annoyed he's asked me the same thing 3 times now

life It wouldn’t really bother me but then I’m a bit rubbish with my short term memory and could easily do the same at some point. If I was just at the chatting stage it wouldn’t matter if they were talking to multiple other people, I am trying to do the same.

Would start to be an issue a few dates in if I thought they just weren’t listening to what I said.

MIA has a good point there - maybe give him a go and see how he gets on after a date or two if it goes well?

Have you called him out on it? I'd be tempted to in a lighthearted teasing way

I love you guys! xxx

Will read through thread when I get in and respond to others but just a quick loo update from me (on date with mutual crush from school I’ve not seen in 20yrs).all going well really nice guy think it might be a slow burner but already agreed to 2nd date!🤞

Koko - those are the best, old crushes.

Aw coco sounds great

tooold I wouldnt tell his wife. I would tell him he is a prick. Block and move on

Trying to organise a 2nd date with Mr Giant but it’s so hard around his shifts, his child and my children!!!

lifegoes I would jokingly call him out on it if he does it again, but lots of us are speaking to many irons so I would still meet him

Ok-so any advice would be great. Had a lovely time last night-went far better than expected-he was kind,thoughtful,funny, intelligent etc - in short has all the things I’m looking for but was almost ‘too nice’ if that makes sense (in a genuine way).I wasn’t unattracted to him but at the same time I wasn’t getting the fanny gallops. I definitely want to see him again but he’s not someone I would ever dream of messing around, as I would just never want to hurt him-he would have kissed me and I could have quite easily kissed him too but I didn’t want to rush things or get intimate unless I know that’s what I want-due to the past it very much feels like it would be an all or nothing kind of thing and I wouldn’t want to get his hopes up and then further down the line me realise it’s not what I want and end up hurting him.He’s also to my mind a bit vulnerable at the moment as is still in process of mediation etc over seeing his young daughter, having only left an EA relationship a few months ago.we agreed we’d like to see each other again. In the past with OLD I’ve gone for those that give me immediate fanny gallops, or even with Mr Fab, who didn’t, there was a kind of attraction I don’t know maybe a testosterone driven ‘manly man’ vibe he gave off if that makes sense?! The fanny gallops has overridden my gut of knowing they’re not suitable for x,y,z reason, to my detriment-they’ve always turned out to be players,ghosters or just not very nice people etc etc. So my question to you is - can a spark develop if it’s not overwhelmingly there at first meeting?