Dating Thread 148 - Having a Fab Time!

[TooOldForThis67]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

MehIAmKnackered I have my kids almost full time. They go to their dad's every other weekend when he is around, which isn't very much at the moment. But they are old enough to be left for a few hours in the evening.
The problem with my iron was that he initially said he was only free one weekday evening and on Sundays. Which is very restrictive. I know why and it's because of one of his children.
When his second date with me looked like it wasn't going to happen, he suddenly became available on Friday.
I need to know him a bit more to understand why.

meh I love your list and would add sexual compatibility - as can have physical attraction but can be mismatched when actually comes down to dtd or libido.
Meeting with crush from my past tomorrow - hoping there’ll be a spark 🤞

Ha @WarIsPeace - I usually give racy profiles (and their Russian sponsors) a very wide berth, but racy responses - provided I'm sure I'm not talking to a catfish - well they always will have me reading intently

@DancingWithWillard did you hear from your Mr Tatts?

Wow this thread moves so quick trying to catch up!! I'll need to go back and read. Still no message from Mr Grey No2 so his time to think is up!!

It wasn't too racy. And am sure it's not a bot, he's been about on the apps for ages. I want a flirty chat I'm so bored

Will try to catch up with the thread tomorrow, it's so busy atm

I'm a newbie to this thread. Just starting online dating after being single for quite a while. Have had a couple of dates with a lovely engineer. They seem to be going really well, we laugh a lot and have a really good time, he always texts afterwards saying how much he's enjoyed the time we spent together and to arrange another date. However, he cancelled on me yesterday. I think I need to stop being precious. On the face of it his reason seemed valid however I do know that is still active on dating sites, as am I. I'm sure I'm reading too much into it.

Bat's itch has been scratched

@k1233 Welcome, look at rule 2....

I would suggest you accept this cancellation but if it happens again then you need to call him out on it.

Until you have the exclusive chat you have to accept that everyone is still swiping and active.

It does sound like you have a good time together so fingers crossed the next date is arranged asap

Batshit you lucky bugger

@k1233 I agree with what sorting said.

The still being active on the apps is just part of OLD until you've spoken about becoming exclusive so you can't hold it against him.

Give him one more chance after the cancelled date but if it starts happening regularly then maybe you should start looking elsewhere

My message to Mrs TW (on kik) has gone unread I now think she is deliberately ghosting me, but if she has changed her mind, I wish she would just say so .

I was wondering how we had gone from sexting to nothing, but then I looked at rules 4 & 6, and feel slightly better but not much

I have finally managed to arrange a date with Mrs HC, but it's weeks away I so need my itch scratching... lucky you Bats

I'm playing with my fab profile. Trying different profile pics. I've tried my face, a "page three" style one, and one that's er, more explicit , but getting absolutely nowhere... I don't often wish I was female, but right now...

Morning everyone.
Have been reading the posts and getting active on various OLD sites, POF, Badoo, Happn, Tinder and finally joined Bumble. Got a few irons who seem keen but am oddly keeping them at arms length and not rushing into a date. Just feeling a bit cautious after MrBE.
I clicked on someone I used to work with on Happn, thinking I could send a msg just to say Hi but it wouldn't let me, so feel embarrassed now that he thinks I fancy him not that I don't, but he's much younger but I honestly just wanted to be friendly! Lol.

Understandable TooOld, but well done for getting back out there!

Sorry to hear that re Miss TW Lonelyman, it's shitty, but don't take it personally, it could be for any reason.

I've got multiple irons going on across OKCupid, Match and Happn now and one, Mr Doctor, has asked me for a drink this weekend, I can only do Friday though so we'll see. I really don't have much luck with Bumble for some reason, I am in London and I wonder if the 24hr thing is an issue here where everyone is so busy! At least that's what I'm telling myself 😆

Oof Lonelyman I'm sorry to hear that. Ghosting happens to everyone but it never gets any easier. Re Fab, as you say single women have their pick on the site. I honestly had no time to even look at profiles, as a new user I was too busy trying not to be overwhelmed. Maybe a good approach for you is to watch out like a piranha for new users and jump straight in there with 'I'm six foot two and a decent bloke'?

Saw Mr Overkeen FWB last night. Itches were scratched that I didn't even know I had, marvellous. Observation - has anyone else noticed that left-handed men are better lovers?

Ha ha was aiming for a strikethrough not an underline there, sorry! Subtlety was never my strong point.

Urghhhh is not sure what to do.

I've got an old ex who I get along with, suddenly come back last week. I said I would meet him on Friday night. Travel to him. For what is obv just sex. (Which I don't mind that part)

But... I have a date on Sunday with Mr G and it doesn't feel right going to have sex with an old ex on Friday. I think I've agreed to it as It gave me the boost I needed after my recent ex

I don't know what to do or say to get out of it.

Wotcher yes I did, late on after I had gone to bed, just a friendly hows your day been one. As I was asleep I inadvertently kept him waiting till this morning and replied similarly breezily. So I am feeling a bit better, but still slightly concerned about the leaving so very early. At this point tho, he has given me no reasons to mis trust him so I don't feel it is my place to question it as he was upfront about having to leave before we met. So I will take a chill pill and see what happens obviously I won't I will be second guessing, panicking and generally being bonkers but I will keep it in

Those of you who have FWB- do you feel "connected" to them? I just cant imagine enjoying sex fully with soneone to whom I didnt mean anything- or vice versa. I need to actually trust someone with my feelings to properly let go and I don't know whether FWB fits. I'd like someone I can do occasional stuff with outside the bedroom! I just don't have loads of time for a "couples" relationship so I can't see anyone wanting the same level of emotional intimacy/exclusivity as me, without seeing each other lots.

@DancingWithWillard haha this is exactly me it's so bloody hard!!! I'm stuck between going with my gut and stopping over-reacting to every little thing!!

Meh yes I feel connected to my FWBs, they're nice intelligent men, we have fun (not just in the bedroom) and we care about each other's enjoyment. I'm just not (will probably never be) 'emotionally available' for a formal relationship so while I'm intimate with them, I don't want to be exclusive.

No idea if I'm doing it right re FWB rules but I think it's working.

Focus thank god it's not just me! My friends despair of my emotional roller coaster but I cant help it. We have exchanged a couple of messages today and he has asked how I'm feeling about it now, do I feel any different etc so my immediate reaction is shit he's changed his mind, even tho I was going to ask him exactly the same thing because I definitely haven't changed my mind lol. Thank goodness I have all of you and my friends to offload the crazy onto!

Meh yes, I feel connected to mt FWBs by friendship. And passion, I suppose. Have been messaging FWB from last night this morning.

If you're the type of person who needs to have strong romantic feelings to enjoy sex then the whole FWB thing may not work for you, it's not for everybody.

Lonley that's a shame about Ms TW. It is hard not to get too invested, I know. I also know from men I've met on Fab that it's incredibly hard to get a response - it's not you or your profile or pics. I tended to respond to men who sent me a face pic, whose messages were grammatical and addressed things I'd said in my profile, and who seemed to offer what I was looking for.

I've been thinking a lot about the FWB thing recently, I would really quite like one, but I am very wary of getting too emotionally involved - I think that if I have regular sex with someone then I will probably develop feelings. I wonder if that might not be the case if I went for a FWB that was really not someone I could see a future with - for example someone much younger - but I don't know, it might still happen! ☺️

Also, I am not sure if I could feel relaxed enough sexually with someone that I knew was having sex with other people - I am quite into some kinkier stuff and I feel like I really need to trust and know someone quite well to be able to do that, so I feel like even on that level it could be limiting.

But I would still like one... ☺️