Dating Thread 148 - Having a Fab Time!

[TooOldForThis67]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Gosh, myold that does sound quite restrictive. My last relationship was like that with free time and it got very frustrating as it never really seemed to progress and still felt like dating a year in! It’s difficult when you really like them though.
See how it goes I suppose.

MyOld I don't think I'd bother 😕 I would feel that couldn't go anywhere and once feelings were involved it would be horrible to have to end it.

Mr Sailor and I are planning a third date next Saturday evening. We had a lovely, chatty dinner last night - he said I was pretty ☺ (feel like a teenager!!). He has two of his adult children living with him at the moment but they go out all weekend, they are aware he is OLDing (he's been divorced for 15 years) and they are happy about it (I had a precious relationship where this wasn't the case so I was sounding him out 😄). He lives a few miles from me ... there was a little light kissing at the end of thw evening .....

Previous not precious!!!!

Im early!! Just sitting in my car, he rang to check i was ok & say hes on way - lovely voice!!

Yes, if I had my time again I’d have ended it much sooner. He kept me going with false promises. Won’t fall for that again.

@NKFell I think it's okay, I have a 9 month old and I am planning to invite my iron over at some point after I've put him to bed. It's my first time dating after my baby too. It's verrrrry different to before.

@Justme1981 let us know hoe your date goes!

@Focus2019 I'm not too savvy with Fbook, but can't you just delete him as a friend. Does it matter whether he knows you have unfriended him?Unless you're interested?

Justme good luck!

@lifegoes have you been back on OLD yet? I’ve only seen you mention psycho man.

@NKFell I’m so glad you asked the question about having an iron over once little one’s have gone to bed! I have a 3 year old boy, and don’t get many child free nights at all! Haven’t invited MrBaker round as I wasn’t sure what was okay to do, and what wasn’t? How long have you been dating this iron?

@Focus2019 how long have you been seeing this iron? Apologies if you’ve already said previously!

So I spoke to MrBaker about his over thinking and worrying that I’m suddenly going to end things, and I think his ex was clearly very over sensitive by all accounts. He’s agreed he’s going to try and chill out and not be so stressed about it all, as it’s just stressing me out! We’re going away for the weekend next weekend (not crazy far, a hotel around 40 miles away for the Saturday night, and then spend Sunday morning, or day depending on how it goes, together). I think this will be the deciding thing for me! As I’m in such limbo at the moment!

Also at what point do you talk about whether you’re dating other people? I haven’t been speaking to any other online guys, as I just don’t have that many child free nights/days and also didn’t think it was entirely fair on MrBaker, but maybe he thinks differently? I think I’d be a bit sad if he’s been dating other people?

@ItsAMiracle2015 yes I'm on OLD. I've two guys I'm talking to. Swapped numbers.
Mr Guitarist - he's nice my type we get on a lot wants to meet this week. Text all the time But I have so much on I can't. So will have to be the week after 🙄 hope he can wait till then.
Mr Bigshot - nice, very busy man, doesn't text as much but when he does it's good. Again need to wait till the week after, he's ok with that as he's travelling for work (which he sent pictures bless)

The Nutjob has text, I'm just trying to not cause an issue, and not text back but not block either.

You going away is good, I'm pleased you've had the chat. See how he is when you go away, maybe then you could see what he says about dating others.

Just catching up ohhh tooold I'm gutted to hear this.

Justme exciting I love a sexy voice

Myold I think it depends on what you want, but if it means hardly no time together is it worth it? Will it cause issues when you can't see each other?

@lifegoes we are seeing each other Tuesday for dinner after I finish work, but I don't know how to bring up the dating other people without him thinking I want to get married tomorrow? I was with my ex for 11 years so in no rush to "merge lives" (I think that phrase will stay with me forever! hahahaha) but I don't like the idea of him sleeping with other people? Am I being unreasonable though expecting that?

@lifegoes have you arranged an actual date for either though or have you just said you're busy this week?

Thank you ladies!

@ItsAMiracle2015 he’ll be arriving in 30mins first time I’ve ever had someone round (well apart from DCs Dad of course!). I told the DC my friend was coming round as per everyone’s advice. They’re all currently asleep so hoping it stays that way! I’ve been on quite a few dates with him now and a few daytime meet-ups.

@ItsAMiracle2015 no I don't think you are being unreasonable to ask that question. Maybe you could ask if he's had any other dates recently and how have those gone, or any nightmare dates and then ask if any were recent. See if he then tags on that he's only dating you.

Or something along those lines.

I've not planned anything in, 🙈 this is where I'm worried. Obv my last date from OLD I cried as he wasn't like my ex. But I'm much stronger now so that won't happen. But it's fell at an awful time with work, I'm actually away with work for 4 days this week, then away with a friend at weekend. So I can only see them next week. I don't want to ask about a meet up, both have asked and I've said I'll need to wait until I'm back to see if I can Sunday. If not next week. 🤦🏻‍♀️

lifegoes I don't mind seeing someone occasionally but the fact he can't do Friday or Saturday for the foreseeable future, is putting me off. I've agreed to meet him again but asked if we can talk about it a bit more.

Good to hear you're ignoring the Nutjob. He sounds very controlling.

@NKFell good luck!! Keep us updated!! Yeah I have friends round after little man's gone to bed so he wouldn't be fussed 🤷. Still glad you asked the question though, as I've been wondering the same thing 😂😂.

@lifegoes do you think maybe you're still scarred from ex?

@helpmeoutout I'm going to leave it a few days see if he messages otherwise I'll unfriend. He's already liked one of my posts - all very bizarre 🤔🤔🤔

@MyOldBrainStoppedWorking I wouldn't do it if he can't do ANY Fridays or Saturdays ever. But I think that's because I only get Tuesday evenings and every other Saturday night and Sunday child free. It wouldn't be worth investing time for me.

Myold that would put me off, it would be ok if it was due to his kids and could do Friday one night and Saturday the next. Or once a fortnight on those dates. But def speak to him further and see if there's any room for it. I think he'll find it difficult to have any relationship if he can't make time or compromise on making time.

Yeah, if the ex is involved he's not getting the satisfaction of me mentioning it. If he's not involved then a don't want another control freak who thinks I'm sleeping with everyone because I changed by profile picture on WhatsApp 👀

Also @lifegoes he'll definitely clock if I ask that though. He's quite intuitive I've noticed (or he knows me really well already 😂😂) but I'm the least subtle person known to man.

Miracle I do, the lies and the manipulation was out of this world looking back. Then this other guy coming in and being the same.

But I refuse to let him control my life more than he has. Plus this is my first OLD dating experience so I'm a bit nervous of how to play it. I just need to bite the bullet and meet these guys don't I?

Perhaps I arrange to meet one next Sunday Mr guitarist?! Do I just ask or should I wait for him to ask me?

Hahahaha Miracle I'm similar. You know, I would just ask. If it feels the right time to ask, just ask the question. Ask if he is dating others out of interest. Is he the type that would be direct and ask you? Do you get the feeling his is going with others?

@ItsAMiracle2015 I had a gin to calm my nerves but because I haven’t eaten (he’s bringing food) I’m a bit tipsy- great start!

lifegoes being cautious is understandable but I do think you should set a date with MrGuitarast at least. I mean what's the worst that could happen??

No I haven't gotten any feeling that is and I would be surprised if he is. I should add that I've been checking pof occasionally to see if he's online (because I'm a mental person) and he hasn't been but I also probably shouldn't assume that means he isn't dating anyone else?