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Original poster

DP just bought a ring... Am I crazy to think he's about to propose?

199 replies

rosetonightplease · 17/02/2019 19:09

We've been together for 18months . We have discussed marriage in the past and he knows I would say yes... The only thing id that I love jewellery in general so it could be just a random gift :/

OP posts:
Holidayshopping · 20/02/2019 10:00

My mum calls him SIL.

I actually think that’s odd if you have only been together 18 months! I had several boyfriends longer than that who I didn’t marry.

Roussette · 20/02/2019 10:03

It's even odder given the bloke is married to someone else and already has a MIL !

wheresmymojo · 20/02/2019 10:04

Wooooooooaaaaah.

You're TTC with a man you want to get married to but who hasn't actually committed to getting married?

A baby is a MUCH bigger commitment than marriage. Plus your legal rights before marriage are much lower.

I would always, always counsel against TTC before marriage to be honest unless it's because both parties don't want to get married.

I'm not remotely bothered about what is 'traditional' but if you're not in a position to make a commitment to marriage how can you possibly be in a position to commit to a child together?

wheresmymojo · 20/02/2019 10:09

Okay, I just read that you are the higher earner but you expect him to fork out £5k for a ring, for which he would have to take out a loan.

That's putting a lot on him TBH. No wonder he doesn't want to buy you the real ring yet.

FWIW I'm the higher earner...I wanted a ring that was nicer than the one my (now) DH could afford since I'd be wearing it every day for the rest of my life so I chipped in money for it.

I would not have been comfortable with expecting DH to over extend himself to buy me a ring I was demanding.

wheresmymojo · 20/02/2019 10:15

Tiffany rings are outrageously overpriced. A jeweller in Hatton Garden would make you the same thing for probably half the price

^ This. You get much better quality for the same money (or same quality for much less money) at Hatton Garden. You're just paying for the brand at Tiffany (which is essentially meaningless and made up by advertisers to get you to part with £1ks of cash for a turquoise bag).

CountessVonBoobs · 20/02/2019 11:02

Oh, and "I want everything to be perfect for you" is either 1) a thing a daft 17yo with his first girlfriend says 2) a bullshit excuse. Your DP has been married before, he has kids. If he's still enough of an idiot to think that what's important about an engagement is getting your GF the "perfect" ring then he hasn't learned a thing and should be treated with extreme caution.

grinningcheshirecat · 20/02/2019 11:15

I make jewelry as a hobby and I'd never buy from tiffany. It's not better, just priced really, really high. It's like looking at a necklace worth about 100 pounds but choosing to pay 800 pounds. It's beyond ridiculous. I don't mind paying a bit more for a special design from a brand but they don't make anything out of the box tbh. It's a normal ring, nothing special, any goldsmith can make it for you quite easily.

Original poster
rosetonightplease · 20/02/2019 13:05

I don't expect him to. It's ridiculous for.me to actually expect that. He knows and I know he can't afford it. I don't plan to buy it for myself, which leaves with whatever he can afford and I'll be happy with that.

I was actually not that bothered about getting married (we've had a few conversations about it) until he bought this ring and thought we would have a final proposal. Leaving and having responsibilities together to me are worth more than a piece of paper. I get excited about the wedding, because ideally it should be a once in a lifetime thing. For what it's worth I'm better off by not marrying him, but that doesn't matter to me. In the end I just want to spend the rest of my life with him and have our families and friends as witnesses.

OP posts:
Hollowvictory · 20/02/2019 13:19

You don't even know he's bought a ring, his kids said he had it may be bollocks.

Original poster
rosetonightplease · 20/02/2019 13:50

He's admitted he bought it... That's how it came to be a "promise" ring.

OP posts:
CountessVonBoobs · 20/02/2019 14:47

How - and why - have the two of you managed to make this so complicated?!

Either he proposed, you accepted, rings are irrelevant, and you can set a date once his decree absolute is through. Or the two of you are playing some sort of ridiculous elaborate game involving rings and passive aggressive subterfuges and more rings and fake "proposals" and I don't even know what. My head hurts.

Dirtybadger · 20/02/2019 15:07

He has proposed. You said yes. You're engaged. Job done.

Obviously don't spend money on anything until he's divorced in 6 weeks. But he has even bought a ring now. So just use that as an engagement ring when it arrives and then start sorting the wedding for how many months time as soon as the divorce is sorted.

Tell him to get over his pride. He doesn't need to put himself in debt to buy a ring. His priority should be his kids and his future kid's (maybe if you're TTC) financially stability.

KennyCalmIt · 20/02/2019 15:16

I was actually not that bothered about getting married

Course you weren’t Hmm
Someone who isn’t that bothered about getting married wouldn’t go on to demand a £5000 ring. Someone who isn’t that bothered about getting married wouldn’t be posting “am I engaged!” threads on here.

we've had a few conversations about it

Course you have Hmm
If you had conversations about not getting married you’d be able to have a conversation now and ask him outright if you’re engaged - you know, after all of his proposals

You talk rubbish, OP. I’m sure this thread is a wind up. It’s gotta be? You refuse to say how old you are which leads to me to think you’re either 16 or acting like a teenager

CountessVonBoobs · 20/02/2019 15:29

You refuse to say how old you are which leads to me to think you’re either 16 or acting like a teenager

OP has actually (terrifyingly) said that she is mid thirties.

RtHonLady · 20/02/2019 15:42

I don't understand any of this Confused

Hollowvictory · 20/02/2019 15:46

Nor does the op. She was dumping him a few weeks ago. Now they may or may not be engaged with a ring or no ring or a £5k ring. Oh and he's still married to someone else 😂💍

Aberforthsgoat · 20/02/2019 15:49

How can you say you’re not bothered about getting married?! Just read back over your own posts on this thread, you seem obsessive about it

Aberforthsgoat · 20/02/2019 15:50

@hollowvictory wait what?! She was dumping him?!

Hollowvictory · 20/02/2019 15:53

Yes page 3. She had a thread couple weeks ago saying she was dumping him bec he had no assets and was married and another poster called her out on it 😂.

Original poster
rosetonightplease · 20/02/2019 16:06

I never said I was dumping him... That's what some MN suggested but not me.

OP posts:
AnotherOriginalUsername · 20/02/2019 16:29

How can you say you’re not bothered about getting married?! Just read back over your own posts on this thread, you seem obsessive about it

She's stated several times she's not bothered about marriage. Clearly just wants a ridiculously priced bit of bling

dragonsfire · 20/02/2019 16:46

This thread is crazy 😂

Reminds me of Leonard and Penny from the Big Bang Theory.

So basically he has bought a ring but it’s not an engagement ring so you have your answer OP what more is there to discuss 🤷‍♀️

Enjoy the promise ring and when he does propose you will have the ring he gives you then.

P.S. as someone who worked in Jewellery for over 15 years you can tell him he get that Tiffany ring cheaper as you are basically just paying for the name.

Crunchymum · 20/02/2019 18:28

I'm so, so very confused.

Your DP has proposed to you (several times) and you have said yes?

Yet the to f he has bought you isn't an eneganement ring?

that is putting aside the fact he is still legally married to someone else

It all sounds a bit too much like hard work OP.

Crunchymum · 20/02/2019 18:28
  • "to f" should have said "ring"
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