DP just bought a ring... Am I crazy to think he's about to propose?

[rosetonightplease]

We've been together for 18months . We have discussed marriage in the past and he knows I would say yes... The only thing id that I love jewellery in general so it could be just a random gift :/

If you’ve decided to get married then you’re engaged surely? The ring(s) is not actually necessary.

He’s proposed more than once? He can’t afford the ring you want so he’s spent money that could have gone towards the ‘actual’ ring on a ‘not the actual’ ring? You think that you’ll probably just go straight to the registrar when his divorce is final but you also want a ‘grand gesture’ with whatever ring he can afford but have also made sure he knows that the ring you actually want is at least £5k and have been sure to show him and ensure he knows the cost of your other very expensive jewellery that people have given you ‘just because’.

This is baffling. What do you actually want OP, from this thread, from him, from your future?

Sounds like he keeps losing his contact lenses.

Autumn poor guy is probably terrified every time he drops his car keys.
'ah shit...another ring!'

He needs one of those litter picker sticks to avoid any confusion.

🤦‍♀️

This is too ridiculous 😂

I'm getting glittery ring adverts.

So when he got down on his knee before, what did you say? I don't understand why he keeps proposing? It doesn't need renewing 6.monthly. You've been together 18 months, how many times has he proposed?

Fair question.

I said yes. I don't know why he keeps doing it. He's as committed as I am. We've talked about he sees us in the future, and the answer one way or the other always is married.

So if he’s already proposed and you’ve accepted then you’re already engaged surely? The ring is neither here nor there.

I’d wait for the divorce to be final and then use that to start a ‘ok where do we go from here, what are the timeframes and how much do we need to start saving each month to achieve it’ conversation. Because that’s surely much more sensible and much more likely to actually get you to where you want to be than passively waiting and hoping for him to propose again but this time with a ring he can’t afford.

DP and I talked about the fact that we’d been ttc for a wand that’s whether or not we’re successful we want to be married with all the symbolic and legal implications that involves. We agreed we’d do it later this year and so therefore are engaged. It’s not a hugely romantic proposal story complete with Tiffany ring, but we’re both adults who get to have opinions about our joint future so the idea of passively waiting for him to decide to ask THE question with THE ring just seems stupid. As it happens we did go and choose a ring together that was in our budget, and then went somewhere special to us (and the dog!) to do a ‘putting on the ring’ moment which was unnecessary really but was a lovely moment and memory to have, so I understand the desire for it to be romantic too. But if he’s proposing every other week and buying rings that aren’t ‘the ring’ and you’re posting that maybe he’s going to ask properly this time, oh no it’s not that after all, oh hang on you’re not bothered about getting married anyway oh wait actually you are - it just seems like it’s all a bit at cross purposes and is kind of undermining the whole thing somehow?

If he really is as committed as you are, he needs to wait until he’s in a position to do so (ie no longer married to someone else) and then make that commitment properly to you - going down on one knee every few weeks and buying rings that are promises to promise to get engaged is all a bit meaningless really, how are you meant to know when he actually means it?

• ttc for a while

We are not trying to conceive a wand, excuse typos, mumsnet on iPad is impossible

Thanks for sharing your experience alias I think in the end something like that will happen. I might ask to just save this ring for the right moment. This ring has the spontaneity that choosing a ring wouldn't have. In my book that counts for a lot more.

Still on about the bloody ring!

“It’s Violet. You know, my sister, Violet? The one with the Mercedes, sauna and room for a pony!”

Just when you thought you'd heard it all
An engagement ring is a prerequisite to a wedding ring in a way, a betrothal, a symbol.
So this ring that he hasn't given you yet is what??

Flummoxed if ever I was

So romantic... NOT!

Your relationship sounds absolutely ridiculous and childish, and I can only imagine going by your attitude and posts on this thread you must be either very young or you just haven’t grown up!

It's a funny one. We know we want to spend the rest of our lives together. He's been on one knee more than once. You could say we are. He's just never bought a ring and have never told anyone about it (apart from a mutual friend of ours). My family expects a weeding. My mum calls him SIL. So I think we are bit never made it official

What the actual hell ?!
OP cut the crap - you’re either engaged or you aren’t. If you were engaged he wouldn’t repeatedly be getting down on one knee unless he’s got two dodgy knees and they give way
If you were engaged and he truly was as committed as you think, surely everyone would know? The type of bride to demand such an expensive ring isn’t usually the type of bride to want a low key engagement!

You sound utterly desperate for a ring on your finger and you quite clearly aren’t engaged otherwise this thread wouldn’t exist. You are adults - you talk about what you want from a relationship. You are either imagining things (these so called proposals that keep happening ) or you’re kidding yourself that he wants to marry you

It really isn’t that difficult! He either proposes or you both decide to become engaged.. you then plan a wedding.

grow up. This whole thread is as weird as your relationship/engagements

This is all bonkers. Forget the stupid Tiffany ring. What matters is you want to be together.

Stop talking about all of this together until we is divorced because you both make yourselves look incredibly stupid otherwise.

And your DM should not be talking about him being a son in law. He isn't!!! He's still married to someone else!

until HE is divorced

Ditto what Aliasgrape said. He's forked out money on a ring he could have put towards the real thing. Are you sure his child isn't having you on? Half-term madness and all that?

There sounds to be a bit of hysterical overthinking on your part and a touch of immaturity on your beloved's if he feels he has to match some expectation of standards re value, etc, for the actual engagement ring. The words 'heads' and 'wobble' come to mind.

I can't actually believe this is true to be honest. Do people actually think like this?

Do people actually walk around wearing £5000 rings? I felt bad spending £300 on my wedding ring in case I lost it but it's ok I just got far enough that I can't get it off

What in the fuck even is this thread.

OP even before we got into all this stuff about he's still married and you have a Rolex I'd pegged your age as about 22. You really come off very, very immature and naive about relationships and blending families. I would stop caring about bloody rings and Tiffany (!) and give some much more serious thought to the adult side of commitment, of becoming a stepmother, of slowing the fuck down a bit, and of how your relationship is going to get though tough times when you've managed to make such a bloody meal out of engagements and pre engagements and rings and proposals within the first 18 months (!) while he's still married to someone else (!!!!).