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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DP just bought a ring... Am I crazy to think he's about to propose?

199 replies

rosetonightplease · 17/02/2019 19:09

We've been together for 18months . We have discussed marriage in the past and he knows I would say yes... The only thing id that I love jewellery in general so it could be just a random gift :/

OP posts:
explodingkitten · 18/02/2019 17:05

OP, are you even already saving for the wedding?

rosetonightplease · 18/02/2019 17:06

No, my dad is going to pay. Just like he did for my sister.

OP posts:
explodingkitten · 18/02/2019 17:07

I genuinely don't know. But he has proposed in the past and to him we're as good as engaged.

Dod you say yes? Because then you are already engaged and you can forget about this promise ring before engagement ring idiocy. Sibce you're not materialistic it doesn't matter that you skipped this gift.

Roussette · 18/02/2019 17:08

Did he put the promise ring in a Tiffany bag as a joke?!

I am just wondering if he was really trying to propose but then got cold feet when you somehow or other said you wanted the Tiffany ring so he called it a promise ring

explodingkitten · 18/02/2019 17:09

Why don't you just get married and then ask for a nice ring on your first anniversary?

Roussette · 18/02/2019 17:10

God I feel old. It was so simple in my day

puppymouse · 18/02/2019 17:11

This thread is weird and a bit creepy in a grabby kind of way. Is your DP ok with you being like this?

RoseOfSharyn · 18/02/2019 17:13

She has proposes in the past. You're as good as engaged. Hes bought you a ring. You're not bothered about it being the Tiffany one. Problem solved.

Wait till his Dec Abs comes through and start sending save the dates. Cut out all the juvenile 'promise ring' shite.

RoseOfSharyn · 18/02/2019 17:14

He has proposed **

rosetonightplease · 18/02/2019 17:14

I haven't received such ring. I just know it's in its way. We're having a weekend away soon, so maybe that's when it will happen .

OP posts:
rosetonightplease · 18/02/2019 17:16

You're very right Rose that's literally how we've seen it. We even joked that as soon as the decree came through the door we'd be on our way to the registrar's.

OP posts:
AutumnCrow · 18/02/2019 17:17

You haven't received what ring???

explodingkitten · 18/02/2019 17:18

@Roussette

it's still simple. DH and I were on the couch in front of the tv, decided that then was a good time to get married and hopped off to the registry office five weeks later in clothes we already had. We did order wedding rings but they didn't arrive till 6 weeks after. We were just happy to get married to each other. That was in 2017. I'm still so happy that we are married, he's lovely. Marriage is signing a contract, all the rest is frippery that have no significance so you can choose as a couple if it's something you want to do. For me it was important to say "yes I do" out loud, but even that is optional.

explodingkitten · 18/02/2019 17:19

OP, are you engaged or not? Because if he proposed and you said yes then you are.

Roussette · 18/02/2019 17:20

Totally agree kitten. Yes I had an engagement ring but it was cheap as he couldn't afford more. I still have it on my finger over 30 years later an I still love it!

pudding21 · 18/02/2019 17:23

This thread gets even more confusing.

So he proposed before. But you didn't get a ring and technically he is still married.

You want a very expensive engagement ring he cannot afford.

So in the meantime even though he has proposed his kids saw him ordering you a ring, so you came on mumsnet to ask if he is going to propose (but he already has already).

Within 30 minutes more or less it was clarified (by either your DP or his kids, who knows) that is a pre promise ring.

You are going away soon, so maybe he will propose with pre promise ring, which wont be good enough so the poor bastard will have to do it all again when he has got himself in more debt and finally divorced the ex.

Is that right? And the point of the thread was.................to gloat?

rosetonightplease · 18/02/2019 17:26

It's a funny one. We know we want to spend the rest of our lives together. He's been on one knee more than once. You could say we are. He's just never bought a ring and have never told anyone about it (apart from a mutual friend of ours). My family expects a weeding. My mum calls him SIL. So I think we are bit never made it official.

OP posts:
poppingoff · 18/02/2019 17:29

A weeding is seeming more probable the longer this thread goes on.

RoseOfSharyn · 18/02/2019 17:29

Down on one knee more than once?!
Was he doing up his shoelace?

explodingkitten · 18/02/2019 17:30

To be fair the family will probably be informed the second you set the date. So that's early enough really. Well, congratulations then!

MikeUniformMike · 18/02/2019 17:31

My garden could do with a weeding.

Roussette · 18/02/2019 17:31

Call me stupid because I obviously am. I thought the bloke proposed just once? Why does he keep proposing?
And why is he proposing if he's still married????
Your Mum calls him son in law??? At the moment only his wife's Mother can call him that!

HugoBearsMummy · 18/02/2019 17:33

This is the weirdest thread I've ever read on Mumsnet Confused

The ring I want is 5k if I get the one I've always wanted. Lookalikes are about a grand

But he can not afford the 5K ring? My dream ring was priced at £4,100 and no way did I EVER expect DH to purchase it, even though he could afford it, I thought it was a HUGE amount of money & felt guilty about him spending that on me. I'd have been happy with something a lot cheaper. He did buy the ring but I was just over the moon he proposed and wanted to marry me...

If he's already got down on one knee , asked you to marry him, and you've said yes then you are already engaged... so why not just put the money toward a really blingy wedding ring instead (if that's your thing) and forgo the engagement ring. Seems pointless after the event ??

RoseOfSharyn · 18/02/2019 17:33

I keep imagining Joeys accidental proposal in Friends.

Redwinestillfine · 18/02/2019 17:39

I think you need to be careful op. If he proposes with this ring ( but says he'll get you the ring of your dreams later) then fab. Set a date for the wedding but stop TTC before you've tied the knot. If he tries to sell it as 'a promise to get engaged' the that's a massive red flag. Say that's nice but don't wear it on your engagement finger, accept it as a nice piece of jewelry and don't TTC or act in any way as if you are engaged. It means nothing and you need to let him know that whilst you appreciate the thought, if he wants to marry you then he needs to do just that, and until then he's just a boyfriend and commitment is on hold.