Leaving abusive relationship tomorrow

[CarlosCarlos]

I'm in an emotionally abusive relationship. I've had to come home and act like everything is normal in order to get my documents and leave tomorrow when he is at work. He's playing with DS. It's a horrible feeling. He seems such a lovely dad in this moment. I'm going to tear his world apart. Women's aid said its common to feel like this. That the guilt isn't forever. But it feels like it will be.

They've advised me to leave a letter in the morning.

I feel like I'm being so deceptive by acting like things are okay.

Please keep me company.

With regard to the guilt, I was just listening to Brianna McWilliam on youtube and she is talking about empathy, generosity and boundaries. Our understanding of empathy can be that we need to give give give but really it's about putting yourself in somebody else's shoes. But unless we have boundaries that turns in to enmeshment, not empathy.

Can you start listening to Meredith Miller Inner Integration clips? Scroll through her extensive library and listen to the ones that speak to you most right now.

Re the guilt- he's created this situation. You are making the best of it you can.

I've been the child in a similar situation and you're doing the best thing for your child. It'd damage them for life.

@CarlosCarlos have you managed to get away?
I hope your ok x

@Smilemumof2 I'm ok. I haven't returned and it's going to stay that way. He won't accept that I've left and wants us to be a family. He's now telling me that I'm ruining our family by walking away so easily and not giving him a chance. It's all my fault again apparently!

Block him on everything you can, google grey rock, fo not engage with his deluded abusing tirades

Oh Carlos - that old one! It's your fault for not giving him another chance, because everyone deserves a second chance, apparently. It's your fault because you are walking away 'so easily'. And it's you breaking up the family, right? Not him? Twat.

If he hadn't been abusive, you wouldn't be doing any of it. It's his fault; he knows it (just didn't expect you to do anything about it) and you know it.

Keep strong.

Standard response . Never ever take responsibility for their own actions.

@CarlosCarlos so glad your ok x
You've done so well keep strong x