Dating Thread 147 - Double Dating Anyone?

[TooOldForThis67]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

@life goes
No but he could tell I was a bit taken a back and wasn't sure what do to with it.

Old iron officially in the bin

Am swiping and waiting to see if Mr Substitute asks me out again

Yeah quick meets are good usually. It's kinda date 0. It's almost impossible to tell if you'll have any chemistry otherwise. Though text bants are sometimes the key. Also Valentine's day....good day for people spotting. "What's their story at table 2?"

So second date with MrTeacher organised for Saturday evening. I'm also going to be 'bumping into him' at the coffee shop where we had our first date tomorrow very briefly during the day, because there is a book he wants to loan me, and he happens to be passing on his way to a work thing. I think he just wants his kiss

It has been difficult to arrange a second date, because my ex has our kids as infrequently as possible. However, I thankfully have some brilliant friends who are happy to help.

Catching up! Glad to see so many of you have lovely irons and new guys and girls on the scene 😊

So I’ve been seeing one of my FWB quite regularly and we actually had a date in Ikea last week (far better than it sounds lol). He came round today and we had a Serious Conversation - we’ve both agreed that this seems to be developing into something a little more than just FWB and have clarified our intentions. So we’re going exclusive and are going to see where it goes, which is lovely.

I think when you say to an iron or put on your profile you want a relationship they assume you mean you’re looking for the full shebang - moving in, merging lives etc. I’ve made it clear that I don’t want that, but I do want some degree of commitment, communication, forward planning with dates etc but not living in each other’s pockets, or expecting either one to drop plans with friends, hobbies and so on. I don’t want to live in someone’s pocket!

@Lovemusic33 that's a good way of looking at it

Do you ever look at pictures of men on tinder and they have a group photo. Suddenly you think, you are ok but your mate is fit - is he single 😂😂😂

Hello, I've been lurking on these dating threads since before Xmas. Thought I should actually join in!
I've been seperated 2 years in August. Dabbled with tinder and was in a relationship for 10 months with first person i met on there. We split and I've been on tinder since end oct. Had some HORRENDOUS DATES. Got overly invested in one way too quick AND it seems to have happened again. I'll call him Mr tattoo, we had first date beg Dec, by second date we said we were in a not full time but only seeing each other relationship. I have 2 kids, he has 1 we live an hour apart, we typically have 1 night a week together HOWEVER. We had an instance of it being 3 weeks between dates, and it now looks like it's happening again. He's murmured about cancelling this week (Valentine's day of all days) as I have been ill and he doesn't want to get it and pass it to his daughter. His communication is getting less, rarely replies to my WhatsApp even though I know he's been online, does call every other night though.

Soooo in a paddy and feeling unwanted I went back on tinder and have been talking to a few people which I shouldn't do. I need to speak to mr tattoo don't i and see what he wants with re:to us. I really like him but want to be with someone who wants me as much as I want them!

So that's me!

sidge I feel the same, don’t want someone moving in with me, I don’t want to see someone every or get married (ever) but I don’t want a FWB either, I want some comitement and I want someone I can trust, I want to have feelings for them and share some time together. I find it hard to know what to put on POF, if I put “not looking for anything too serious” people assume your looking for sex but put “looking for a relationship” and people assume you want a husband.

And just to add sidge, I feel like that, once a week date is enough for me. I definitely don't want to be living with anyone until my kids leave home. I'm very independent, but apparently that means it's not a proper/committed relationship.if you don't want to live in each other pockets!

What I'm loving about this topic. Is not just the support for dating but how many women are just like me.

I couldn't stand someone moving in and taking up my space. I'd be happy with someone spending 1/2 nights max.

I just want a relationship where I can do my own thing, but we are there for each other. Sexually and just to feel wanted.

But don't come and take over my life 😂😂

I’m not alone then!

That’s what this guy seems to understand now, I don’t want FWB in that it’s just sex and hanging out together at home. I want to go on dates, weekends away, nights in watching a film and sharing a bottle of wine. But I also want the emotional connection, knowing that someone cares about me, communicates well with me, accepts my lifestyle and that my children are my priority. Also has their own life (I’d find it suffocating being with a guy that had no hobbies, few friends, no dynamism and wanted to revolve his whole life around me). But will make space in his life for me and I’ll do the same for him.

It seems to be quite elusive, but if there’s quite a few of us wanting the same thing we need to reclassify it! I think it IS a relationship, just a non conventional one.

lydia let me know once you’ve figured out what you’re going to say/do.i am in a similar situation and getting really anxious about what to do and desperate to set up some dates with new irons as know this won’t work long term

@Sidge I would class that as a normal 2019 relationship for strong minded women. 😉

That's exactly what I want, we aren't asking much are we?

I can’t even cope with someone staying over, I love having my bed too myself 🤣, people ask me it is lonely sleeping alone every night? It’s not lonely, it’s bloody perfect. I’m happy seeing someone on e or trice a week, I have 2 young teens and I don’t plan on moving anyone in whilst they are still living at home, I love my own space. I love going out to eat and doing activities together as well as the sexual side of things but I don’t want the ‘leaving the toilet seat up’ or the ‘sharing a bed’ thing.

@Lovemusic33 ha this is so true. I love my bed! I couldn't imagine sharing it with someone FT 👀

If I ever move in with anyone I think I would have to have my own room 😁

I want that too Sidge!

Off topic slightly, but my affirmation bracelet arrived today, and I love it - soulanalyse.com/shop/i-am-enough-affirmation-bracelet-gold/

Argh I’m pretty sure men don’t agonise over having to wind a ‘relationship’ down like we do...

Even if you do want to live with someone.
Surely that takes time.
Why rush?
I could after a couple of years or so.
I mean I'm open minded to it.

@BatshitCrazyWoman I love that. NEED

CocoKoko123
Oh I'm sure they do.
The over thinkers and the over analysers.

Years ago I had a' I've been thinking about dumping you for months'.
I was really annoying because I'd hate to be thought of that way, without knowing..

@lifegoes exactly. To me that’s what a relationship in the 21st century should look like for us strong independent single women 😁

@Lovemusic33 I love starfishing in my bed! I never sleep as well when someone else is in it now lol.

@BatshitCrazyWoman that is so pretty. I think we should all wear one!

I know it’s cheesy but I think we need to remind ourselves sometimes that a lover/partner/whatever should enhance our life, not detract from it. If it gets difficult, stressy, complicated or causes anxiety especially in the early months then it’s not right.

coco I'm waiting to see if Mr tattoo calls tonight. I did what I had stopped doing and messaged him first today, like I said above he'd been online (Instagram ) didn't reply for ages. I then replied and again he's been on Instagram but ignores message. He has said he doesn't really like to message but he did loads in the beginning. I message my friends on there alot and it shows when the people who you have also messaged were last online. I just think if you don't get to see someone you apparently what to be in a "relationship " with very often then communication is so important!

And like above, I love my own bed to myself! Well myself and the dog

I couldn't sleep with a loud snorer.