Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dating Thread 147 - Double Dating Anyone?

999 replies

TooOldForThis67 · 11/02/2019 19:31

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

OP posts:
CassettesAreCool · 21/02/2019 16:54

TooOld it was FabSwingers - but the site deleted me so I was only left with this guy plus one other creepy one who I binned off this morning. I don't want to go back on, found it very stressful, so I want this guy as a FWB while I wait to see how situation with Mr Mad pans out (he is a bit more than a FWB but currently no sex as he is ill/awaiting a diagnosis).

I'm going to meet Mr Chemist tonight and probe deeper about his situation.

user1466783975 · 21/02/2019 17:13

Haha lifegoes, single life certainly has its perks.
Shame we can't all hint at who we are dating as some on here must have dated the same irons. I would be like ' has anyone found hairdye in so and so's cupboard or pulled a wig off his head mid orgasm!

To be honest,it didn't look dyed and his stubble had no grey either. most strange. good genes?!

lifegoes · 21/02/2019 17:17

or pulled a wig off his head mid orgasm!

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 @user1466783975

I wish we could share names, I do read things and think "do I know him"

Not pulled a wig off yet.

WarIsPeace · 21/02/2019 17:24

lilyrose that wouldn't be an issue, he's a 'nice bloke', a bit too nice /drippy if anything and we've dtd before, I know what I'm signing up for. Bit of fun only, he's harmless.

ComedyBoobs · 21/02/2019 17:24

cassettes did you click on the link on the Fab verification email? - might explain the deletion if you didn't.

shitwithsugaron · 21/02/2019 17:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ComedyBoobs · 21/02/2019 17:29

I think more men than women lie about their age. I just put it down to them being deluded & egotistical.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 21/02/2019 17:29

Someone who was 15 years older than me would be 70, so that's a no from me! And the lying then admitting it irrationally pisses me off. Maybe if everytime they told someone they'd just met their real age, thst person cut short the date, they'd stop?

ComedyBoobs · 21/02/2019 17:32

Years ago I met up with a man who said he was in his 40s & athletic... Nice photo, good looking.etc...He wasn't. He was well into his 60s, overweight & there was no way in this world that his profile pic was of him.

user1466783975 · 21/02/2019 17:34

He replied if you fancy meeting there,that's cool. Table booked.
Thanks for the advice on here, I was having thoughts of him dropping me off and me asking him in for coffee. Which usually ends in a snog or more and I just want to date properly before all that. I had a mr Rugby before Christmas and he just vanished after our second date snog. And mr muscle said on second date there was no spark,after being all over me on first date! and the nutter who wanted to move in after two months lol.

Hope everyones dates tonight and over the weekend go well

user1466783975 · 21/02/2019 17:36

yep,i shall grill him on it tomorrow. It's a bit shit really.
And keep looking for irons :)

Notcoolmum · 21/02/2019 17:50

user I’d enjoy the date and see how the age difference feels.

Everyone seems very busy!! I need some major distractions to cheer myself up. I was reading this thread from such a different place a week ago. Happy with my valentines gifts and my iron. How quickly things can change. Here’s hoping I feel a whole lot better this time next week. 💪🏼

CassettesAreCool · 21/02/2019 17:51

Comedy I've no idea what I did last night re that Fab site - I was completely and utterly out of my depth! It wasn't even an ego boost getting all those messages, as I had no profile or pic up so they were just chancers, and I reverted to 'people pleasing' by apologising if they sent a second, whiny message before I replied to their first. Mental. Never again.

lifegoes · 21/02/2019 17:56

@Notcoolmum have you heard anything back from him?

Keep smiling, look at how quickly things can change from a positive point of view.

Notcoolmum · 21/02/2019 18:01

lifegoes we have agreed to meet up face to face but he’s quite reluctant and it’s just for my benefit. It’s definitely over for him. I guess I will get there soon. Right now I just miss him and feel sick that all the things I expected we’d do together won’t happen. We had booked to see a comedian in his home city next weekend for one.

lifegoes · 21/02/2019 18:04

@Notcoolmum you will get there I promise. It's just hard right now.

It's up to him now, but you need to make plans for yourself over that weekend. Friends, or spa day for you. Something to look forward to and distract you.

shitwithsugaron · 21/02/2019 18:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ComedyBoobs · 21/02/2019 18:21

I know what you mean cassettes but I'm quite fascinated by it. And it is certainly a good lesson in defining my boundaries. And the 'people pleasing' I think it's something that women are expected to do & revert to naturally.

On a different note.... as for married men or men who are married but in an open relationship, don't go there. I did. Once. It will completely trash your self esteem.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 21/02/2019 18:31

I loved my time on Fab - the women definitely rule the roost there, as it were. I had a set of rules in my profile - if someone messaged and didn't abide by them the message was deleted. If they kept doing it they were blocked.

shitwithsugaron · 21/02/2019 18:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 21/02/2019 18:40

I'm glad I helped shitwith!

ComedyBoobs · 21/02/2019 18:48

batshit - set of rules on profile sounds like an excellent idea!
I have on my profile that I'm looking for someone athletic. I want a FWB. So physical attraction is key.
And intelligent convo.

I have a mix of people messaging. But lots of messages. So I might add a set of rules.
Might filter out the dreamers from the realists.

leonasa · 21/02/2019 19:01

Cassettes I'd approach with extreme caution. A bit of stalking is a good idea but as he has said he is still with her it might not tell you much. Not judging - I've been with a married man who was supposedly in the process of leaving (surprise surprise he didn't) and it completely broke me for many years. I know you are looking for something different from me but our emotions don't always play ball and weird abandonment issues and insecurities can come up for a lot of people when a man is going home to someone else.

Also, even if they are in an open relationship, I strongly doubt he hasn't slept with her in three years if they are both still sexually active people - that part just doesn't ring true.

NotCool really sorry he's done this. Maybe mull over whether seeing him is going to help or just hurt more without giving you proper answers. And I second the others, plan fun things for the times you had plans with him. I know exactly how you are feeling - things will get better for both of us! Try and be angry at him - better than pining - it's what I'm trying to do now with Mr Non-Monogamous. Hugs 🤗

richdeniro · 21/02/2019 19:37

@TooOld Am still here, just busy at work recently so not much time to read any of the updates. Saw yours about everything going well now :) Sounds like you've found a keeper!

Still doing my months break from dating and the apps - have to say it's heaven. Felt that initial withdrawal I get where you think you might miss out on someone and that the clock is ticking down to still being single at 40 so felt rushed to meet someone but that has dissipated now. Am just enjoying my free time - no worrying about messaging girls, self esteem is at an all time high, feel confident, zero anxiety, etc.

I will get back on there in a couple of weeks or so but am in no rush to do so plus I have been thinking a lot more about my new mindset, boundaries, etc etc so it will be in a different frame of mind.

Notcoolmum · 21/02/2019 20:12

Thanks leonasa atm the closure feels important but maybe next week I’ll feel I won’t need it. pining is shit for sure. I’m away with friends this weekend. The timing is perfect xxx

Swipe left for the next trending thread