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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is it ok for my bf to say this....

237 replies

Pinkypie22 · 09/02/2019 18:48

'I'm a big man. No one can tell me what to do. I behave in a way that I find acceptable. I can do what I like.'

This was in response to me saying that perhaps we wouldn't argue if he behaved in an acceptable way. (He always accuses me of arguing if ever ask a question or don't follow his Instructions).

This exchange came about because this morning he asked me to call his daughter and ask to borrow some money. The money is for him, not me. I didn't want to but I can't lend it him so reluctantly agreed. I said i would message rather than call as its less pressurusing for her. He was ok with that. Until she didn't read the message straight away so he hung up on me. He came back in a strop, snapped at me when I asked if was going to the gym. Then he left without a word. He came back a couple of hours later, barely spoke to me other that to tell me he was going to his mums because I couldn't lend him my old phone as its not charging properly. Of course he was annoyed about that roo.

After he made his 'I can do what I like' speech he stormed out the house. Having told me earlier that he won't be back until tomorrow evening, missing a family party he said he would come to.

Is this just me being over sensitive and over thinking? Or am I right to be upset at how he behaved? I've lost all perspective 😞

OP posts:
MatchsticksForMyEyesReturns · 09/02/2019 18:50

He's a dick. Get rid. It won't get any better.

Bombardier25966 · 09/02/2019 18:50

What endearing features does this man have?

AnyFucker · 09/02/2019 18:51

What ? You have to ask ?

DowntonCrabby · 09/02/2019 18:52

He’s a cunt.

There will be 100 other posters along in a sec to agree. NO ONE will tell you you are being over sensitive.

You have to leave him.

Did I mention he’s a cunt?

bobstersmum · 09/02/2019 18:53

Is he on steroids by any chance

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 09/02/2019 18:54

He’s an arsehole. Don’t waste a second of your life longer. Everything about his attitude and comments is a whisper away from outright abusive. It certainly won’t get any better and i guarantee it will only get worse n

Aussiebean · 09/02/2019 18:56

Why do you think this is acceptable? What are you doubting?

KittyHugs · 09/02/2019 18:56

I agree with all that has been said. He is a horrible man. Get away.

user1471453601 · 09/02/2019 18:58

If he's such a "bigman" he can ask his own daughter for money.

Tip,grown men do not leach off their children

ReaganSomerset · 09/02/2019 18:59

Hills. That way >>>>>

Stardustinmyeyes · 09/02/2019 19:00

He's a cunt. Run away very fast

ChasedByBees · 09/02/2019 19:00

Why would he be on the phone to you to ask you to call someone for you?

He’s an idiot and has no right to behave like that. You don’t have to put up with it.

SevenStones · 09/02/2019 19:02

Yup, he's a wanker!

Leave him and have a happy life.

Lucked · 09/02/2019 19:03

Well he can behave how he wants but you don’t have to stick around to witness it. Also you can, regardless of size, also behave how you want which should include not asking to borrow money on his behalf and not accept being spoken to in that way.

My honest opinion is that he is a dick and you would be better on your own. I can tell you that no way would a man I was involved with treat me the way he treated you today and at the ‘big man’ comment I would have laughed in his face before slamming the door behind him.

jackstini · 09/02/2019 19:07

Um, no
Not ever
Not for any reason
LTB

gamerchick · 09/02/2019 19:12

If he's such a big man why is he asking you to wipe his arse for him? Hmm borrowing money from his daughter indeed!

Tell him to stay at his mothers.

Wherearemymarbles · 09/02/2019 19:15

Surely the only reply is
‘I’m a big woman and don’t need a big cunt like you in my life. Goodbye ‘ ??

Bodear · 09/02/2019 19:15

He sounds awful OP. He’s not very nice to you Sad

ralphfromlordoftheflies · 09/02/2019 19:19

For a big man he's certainly doing a good job of acting like a spoilt, precious teenage brat. What are you doing with him? Surely you would be much happier without him?

Thatsalovelycuppatea · 09/02/2019 19:20

Yes sounds like a dick.

Pinkypie22 · 09/02/2019 19:28

We have a young baby, which is why I have given him too many chances

OP posts:
category12 · 09/02/2019 19:28

What do you get out of having him around?

AnyFucker · 09/02/2019 19:29

Stop giving him chances

He is a shit role model for your child

You have chosen badly...don't compound your mistake by staying with this prick

Pinkypie22 · 09/02/2019 19:36

At what point does this type of behaviour become abuse? I don't want to make too much of it but he does a lot of shouting, telling me I'm the dumbest person he ever met, that he has to shout at me because I don't listen, why don't I ever do as I'm told, threatens to leave, has sworn at me, has told me I'm wrong in the head a number of times...All while screaming and shouting. He threw his phone once in rage so I thought it was going to hit me. He said that was ok because he made sure it didn't hit me. He sulks a lot when he doesn't get his way too. But I'm tired and emotional so don't want to blow it out of proportion

OP posts:
category12 · 09/02/2019 19:39

Sounds abusive to me.

But even if it didn't meet some arbitrary threshold of what's considered abuse, it's not the treatment you deserve or how someone should behave with a partner. It's utterly unacceptable.

Fuck that.

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