I've been an absolute idiot to poor dp 😫

[Ilovechocolate2day]

I feel so so awful dp of 5 months has been so lovely , great with the kids etc , treats me so well. The only thing he has made remarks on occasionally is my weight which does get me down , I am trying to do something about it . Any way I had drinks with friends at the weekend and sat and sun sent him some shitty messages , saying find someone else who is to your standard come pick up your stuff , I'm too fat for u etc..... Any way he replied he loves me and stop ,
I feel so fucking awful about it , it wasn't me talking he said he understood this but last night he was very quiet and seemed very down and disappointed , he nearly left for home but I got upset and asked him to stay and said I was so sorry and love him loads. I'm worried now this has put a strain on our relationship. I don't know what to do but in so anxious now.

The only thing he has made remarks on occasionally is my weight which does get me down

Tell us a bit more about what he says to you about your weight.

Why is he commenting on your weight after 5 months together? Have you somehow dramatically gone up in weight in that time? That might indicate a health issue.

Or is it just that he doesn’t accept you as you are? In which case.......

Why is he commenting on your weight? Are you the same size you met him at 5 months ago?

He sounds like an arse. Something made you tell him what you honestly thought of his behaviour you were drunk. Why are you doubting yourself now?

I’m not sure he’s a partner after 5 months. Why is he involved with your children yet? Why the hell is he criticising what you look like?

This is the magical honeymoon period. Sounds too angsty and dramatic to be healthy or offer much of an optimistic future to me.

What does he say about your weight?
How overweight are you?
If you were the same 5 months ago then I don't why he's mentioning it.
I'd not like that either.
He sounds good otherwise so I think we need some context on this issue before we can really pass judgement.

It makes a big difference whether he is concerned for your health and genuinely supportive of your efforts to get fitter, when he comments on your weight, or whether he is just being cruel and undermining in order to lower your self esteem and establish coercive control over you.
Abusive men sometimes love bomb you for the first few months until you’re hooked on them, then start revealing their true unpleasant nature and begin to grind you down.
Only you can tell which he is, OP.
If he’s the latter, leave now.

He basically commented when he asked what size I was (size 16) and he was like bloody hell , he encouraged me to join the gym and I walked into the room one day and he was just looking at me and patted my stomach and said oh look at that but then said he was joking, I've actually lost weight since I met him maybe a stone , or so ? He asked why I keep bringing it up but it's made me feel so insecure , and I know his ex was a lot smaller then I was..

Ewww I'd be fucking him right off for those comments! Bastard

It all sounds very intense for 5 months in, does he not accept you for who you are?

He's a fucking twat. Drunk you is who you should be listening too!

Well he's a twat isn't he? You can do better.

I feel so so awful dp of 5 months has been so lovely , great with the kids etc
What?

Just 5 months is not a long time.
Are you fat? Size 16 isn't necessarily fat or big.
You shouldn't really be feeling insecure - is it him or you that's causing the insecurity?
You probably look really nice, but if he works out a lot, he might not realise that you feel a bit self-conscious.
Well done on the weight loss - you don't have to go to the gym but you might find it quite relaxing or even fun.
Don't compare yourself to his ex. She's just history - you're the here and now.

He is absolutely lovely in every other way tho I know it sounds ridiculous but he really is , he helps with the school run , has financially supported dc as their father doesn't give a rats arse. We don't live in each other's pockets we do have space apart. I just don't want to come accross as a drama queen

I do enjoy the gym and I walk miles a day , Ive had 3 children so the weight put on after that , he isn't exactly a fit and slim either

5 months and he’s great with your kids...?! Why did you introduce him so soon?

The weight comments are awful and are a red flag for things to come. If you accept it he will start being horrible in other ways.

5 months in and he should be thinking the sun shines out of your bum.

I struggle to understand how you've slotted an arse of a man into your children's lifes. After 5 months at the most.

Trying to actively change you at less than 5 months - sounds a bit like he's trying to use you as a 'fixer-upper'

Bin him off. He’s testing how much criticism he can get away with and you’re already feeling shit about yourself so how much worse will it get? He knew what you looked like when he met you. The number on the label doesn’t mean anything compared to that.

I don’t like him at all.

By sounds of it this is bothering you, I would dump him. You want a man who adores you, not puts you down especially this early in your relationship.

X post. School run?! Supporting you financially?!

You were, presumably, coping to get your DC to school and feed and clothe them 5 months ago so why is he being so involved?

I think he probably accepts you as you are and with all that walking and gym you probably look healthy and attractive. Stop worrying about it.
The just 5 months in bit worries me a bit, but it not my life. Forget about your weight, and don't send drunken texts.

he isn't exactly a fit and slim either. Well there you go. Have you asked him what he is going to do about his weight? No? That’s because you’re a decent person and not a twat.

Also, why is he financially supporting you after 5 months?

Sounds to me like you have low self esteem given you are justifying his behaviour and saying you love him in spite of him making you feel horrible with his comments about your weight. Loving you should mean he cares about your feelings. It sounds too much like he is starting your relationship by controlling you. Sack him off before he causes you some serious damage.

He’s a twat.