To think there's no coming back from this...

[GirlOnIt]

Me and Dp has a argument last night (well early hours of the morning). He wasn't happy with my friends staying over (I've posted about this) and he travelled back from working away so was very tired. But he got in and basically started having a go at me, pretty horrible things said and I honestly didn't know what to do. I was in bed, and just sat there as he ranted at me. He woke Ds up and he started crying, he picked him but he wouldn't settle so he handed him to me and that's when he stopped. Then just got into bed and went to sleep. He woke up first in the morning and was banging around downstairs my friends had obviously heard us row, so they made their excuses and left sharpish. Female friend asked before going if I was ok and if I wanted her to take Ds for a bit. He heard her ask and basically told her to fuck off.

Then he got ready and left. Wouldn't say where or anything "it's none of my fucking business what he does" apparently. Nothing from him all day and I've tried a few times to get in touch. I text him to say not to come home at all and he replied 'are you forgetting who pays the mortgage babe, I'll be back when I want'.

I don't know if I'm being precious, I've never ever been shouted and sworn at like that and just kinda froze. I'm crying thinking about it now and can think of all kinds of things I'd say back. But we've never rowed like that before and I just didn't say or do anything.

I'm not sure if he's coming home, I don't want him. I'm not sure if I'm best going to my mums or asking her to come here. He'd originally made plans with his friends to do watch a match and I'm guessing that's what he's done, although I had plans that have been scraped. That means he'll be drinking though and I don't think there's going to be any point talking to him. I'm not sure I ever want to if I'm honest.

I think you said it’s your birthday weekend, in which case Happy Birthday! Hope all 3 of you enjoy it.

Thank you cheapskatemum. We're having a really lovely time. I've actually had chance to read a book (a first since Ds) as Dp is doing everything with Ds except feeding him. This boy of mine does not like the bottle, despite Dp's attempts.

Glad you are having a good time.

My breast to bottle tip (DD was 15 weeks and I was going back to work!), I let her have some of her feed from me then wangled the bottle in very quickly then the penny seemed to drop that this bottle thing wasn't evil after all!!

We've tried that Random and Ds likes to suck on Dp's little finger (he makes sure it's clean) so he's tried letting him do that and quickly switching to the bottle, no luck. He's tried waking him just before he generally would in the hope if he's still sleepy he won't notice, he notices though.

I'm sure if I wasn't there and he had to, he'd give in and take it. But I don't need him to take it so that seems cruel.

Hi. Sorry, I lost your thread! But went searching so I could say...

🎁🎉🎈Happy Birthday!!🎈🎉🎁

I hope you have a nice weekend 🛍🎂🍾🥂 (a little anyway x)

Enjoy your book(s) and your time away.
😊

(I have read your update, but plenty of time for thoughts on that next week. It seems mostly good though x)

Great news that your having a lovely weekend and well done for setting firm boundaries too. Happy birthday!

It still took a fair few times, I think with DD it was letting her feed long enough that she wasn't hungry and felt comforted and using a fast flow teat. She was a glutton and could down a 10oz bottle in a couple of minutes

Thank you for the birthday wishes. It was yesterday and I had a lovely day, Dp had booked me a pamper package at a spa and he took Ds off for walk while I was there, then he cooked dinner last night.
Not done very much all weekend to be fair (I'm still in my pj's now 😂). Planning a walk today followed by a pub lunch, but Dp made a huge cooked breakfast and I'm still stuffed so I'm not moving yet.
So basically I've eaten, slept and read!

We will keep trying Random. He's taken a few sucks and then it's like he notices and he won't keep going.

Well done on getting so far op. Having firm boundaries and a solid sense of self worth are good signs for a healthy long term relationship, just need to work on some communications - with the majority of work to be done by the one who has so far either fucked off or fucked up, or both.

Happy birthday 💐🍾

Thank you Weenurse.

We're home now. It's been really lovely but I know not a true representation of things. It was kinda like we were in a little bubble of just the three of us, so it was easy for him to be the perfect daddy and partner.
Will have to see how things go when we're back to reality of work, housework and friends and all that comes with that.

We did talk a little and I realised that he struggles to just relax. He's always been more up and out than me, but I think that's led to him not spending as much time with Ds other than doing things that need doing with him. Where as I'm happy to just sit on the sofa having baby cuddles, he's looking round at what needs doing.
He says he's really enjoyed just being with Ds this weekend and he's getting a bit older so more playful and giggly now, which I think Dp is finding easier in regards to what to do with him and bonding more.

I hope he continues with his involvement.
Maybe plan some gym visits or walking while he looks after baby