A heartbreak support thread

[namechangedbutneedadvice]

I'm currently on day 7 of heartbreak central... split with my boyfriend of 16 months. It was a messy, semi-mutual ending but I still love him though know there's no way back from here. He's done. It's less than 2 years since I split with my husband (his 2nd affair) and I think the way I feel is a build up of heartbreak but it's just absolutely awful. It's a physical pain, totally distracting, I feel sick, no appetite at all, tearful, not sleeping. It's intolerable.

I posted a different thread about my situation but wanted to get some of us together for some support. I know I could do with some but I know it's helpful to support others too. Would you care to join? A place to offload and hopefully find a way forward xx

I’m a man in the same boat and yes I get everything your saying.

duvet I also have a holiday booked with xp. I haven't cancelled his flight yet as I will probably go with a friend so will just change the name on the flight (though no doubt have to pay for it). I feel a fool for doing stuff like that - now that I look at it in the cold light of day, because I believed all his shit about moving in/being together forever, I thought that booking holidays was fine. I bet he claims it was all too much for him and made him feel overwhelmed - which it would do if you weren't that keen on someone. It's so obvious to me now that he was never that into me - if I'd seen the small signs rather than being swept away by the big gestures I would have seen it.

Sorry you are so connected to your ex, that is hard. Will the dcs move out? I am guessing they will have to now?

@pococops I hope not!! It’s very hard. We are still texting. Things feel unfinished but I know we can’t really get through this. He’s stuck feeling guilty and not able to move on. And I can just see this lovely man who was so nice to me and made me happy and I don’t want to let that go. Even though I clearly have to.
Sucks.

@Notcoolmum
I remember joining a no contact thread at the time. It's the only way unfortunately. It's like a withdrawal!

@1stepbeyond
It will be nice for you to go with a friend. We have some city breaks booked, but also a long distance dream holiday just us for 2weeks and a family holiday with the DSC. none of my friends are in a position where they could come plus the DSC where looking forward to it!

Some time you get gaslighted, especially in the beginning, and I’m sorry this has happened to you. It’s so hard to look at the bigger picture, and notice the warning signs. Me and my ex booked a 2week holiday to the Caribbean after only 2months of dating, we went 6 months later.

Yes the DSC will be having to move out, have NC with me, and everything about their life will change. I do the school pick ups, drop offs, and I’m their appointed point of contact which we need to leagally change. Then there is my house, it’s a large property for just me, the car is mine, but is the only mode of transport that fits the DC in, as my ex just has a van.

@notcoolmum and @pococops NC seems the best way of moving on, but in some situations it’s hard. If I could I would. I also do that not cool I see the man I love, who everything was great with. I’m trying to find reasons to hate him, so it’s easier, but it’s so hard.

NC would be so much easier, I’m tied to the bastard for life because of the kids plus when the baby comes I’ll have to see him. I hate him for doing this to us. He’s put me and the kids in a really shit situation. Who tries for a baby they don’t want? Knowing apparently they weren’t happy and then walks away. He’s telling the kids on Saturday when we get home from our break, packing him stuff whilst we are away. I’ll be 24 weeks pregnant by then and I’m not sure how we will survive this.

Wow napssaveslives and 1stepbeyond it sounds like you are borne going through a really tough time.
I will do NC once we’ve done the usual picking at the bones part. I’m not ready to let go yet but know I will have to soon. It feels silly to be so sad about something so new. I’d just felt safe to tell my mum and had to tell her today it was already over. No one has ever treated me so nicely. Although it has only been a few weeks. That may not have lasted!

When will I feel less broken, when will I stop sobbing at 4am

Me. 11-month relationship. Day 2 of break up. Day 1 of NC.
Sick. Anxious. Emotional. Loss of appetite. Hopeful.

He's not ready for commitment and too much else to deal with in his life that is causing him anxiety and stress. He's not 100% convinced in our relationship and 50/50 on whether he has made the right decision.

Heartache sucks. Stay strong everyone.

@napssavelives
I really feel for you. Your probably exhausted, from the broken sleep and crying. Wish there was more we could do to help. Have you spoke to your midwife? You anxious of your EX speaking to the DC?

Hope everyone else is feeling ok?

getmyfrown good luck on the NC. How did you make that decision. I’m not that brave yet...

@Duvetday2day yep , he’s going to break their hearts and I don’t want him to . I want my old life back not this nightmare :(

Every day without you realising it your getting stronger. For me I positioned it like this. I’m at rock bottom so the only way is up.

Try your best to see things through a similar lens. Good luck with your recovery from heartbreak.

@napssavelives
How are you? How did Saturday go? I wish I had my old life back too, it’s horrible!

Awful, my kids are broken. I hate him :(

@napssavelives
sending you big hugs! pray it gets easier for you and the kids.
Have you made a plan of when he can see the kids? get his things? and support you with the baby?