for all of your going through such horrendous crap because of these selfish arseholes.
@duvetday2day thank you for your kind words. Amazing how you are putting the kids first having him visit, you're a better mum than many bios! How do you cope after seeing him? ex wants to see the kids this week and I feel sick at the idea of him being here...
@heartbreakcentral dont take him back, he's actively sniffing around for something else, dont wait until you get the proof hes managed it, just focus on yourself and know you deserve more than someone who doesnt appreciate what he has. Model the type of expectations you'd want for your own kids - would you tell them putting up with that behaviour is good enough for them?
@notcoolmum perhaps the speed and intensity has put him off, perhaps you felt that way because he love bombed you into it - no-one can know, but if its all this full of emotion so early on it doesnt sound like the right relationship for you, maybe spend some time alone and think about why it all got so much so fast, it can often be a red flag - you might have just dodged a bullet, as much as it still hurts
I am in the stage of gutted, but furious. Ex has been messaging the most mundane crap "have I had post" "are we still taking the kids out today". My whole life is up in the air and he's just acting like 'whoops you caught me, now back to what i was saying...' Ive not replied to any of it because honestly what is there to say to someone like that?
He wants to come see the kids after work this week and I just dont want to see him at all, not that I can stop him coming, it's making me feel sick 
I have managed (after making a factual threat) to get him to write me a letter to vacate the property so I have sent it to a housing officer to ask for assistance with finding somewhere to move myself and my poor kids.
I've gently told the kids we will be moving and they seem ok about it, just worried about bringing their toys, so Ive spent the weekend reassuring them and seeing friends/family to keep all our minds off it.
I dont think he'll have told his friends/family whats going on, he's probably deep into my character assasaination by now, and the usual gems will come out 'not getting along', 'grew apart with the stress of young kids' etc while convienently missing out the unprotected sex and cozy meals out with whoever else he's been at it with, all while telling us we have to tighten our belts because the bills are too expensive!
For now I think the shock and anger are keeping me going, I hope they last long enough to get us moved, then I can come to terms with it all in my own space where he cant try and talk me round, play the victim or make it all my fault...maybe i dont belong on a 'heartbreak' thread after all - is there one for how to hate without actually murdering the cheating bastard? 