Dating Thread 146 - Swipe Left Swipe Right

[MyOldBrainStoppedWorking]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

I went on my daytime (1st) date today, rearranged from last night. Had a brew and a bit of a chat, not sure overall as he's very hard to read unlike current iron who is KEEN but not very suitable really.
The jury is out

@CocoKoko123 could it potentially just be nerves, are you the first relationship following his marriage or long term relationship?
Us blokes don't like to open up about that kind of thing, but maybe he's over thinking it and putting too much pressure on how important the 1st time with you will be.
Or he needs to be told to stop being too much of a gentleman!
Or he's got a non-existent sex drive, but either way you need to be honest with him as to what you want.
No bloke is going to be offended at being told somebody they're dating wants to have sex with them

We had a low key kiss, at the end, considering it was sober and daytime I think it was reasonable helpmeoutout.

batshit - I'm with you there - looking for someone to share my life with but having fun along the way!
helpmeout - Glad you sorted it. I think I will tonight - this is my msgs with MrBirdsEye today, it'll be our 4th date tonight:-
BE - What would you like to do? I'd say get something to eat then come back to my boat but not sure I could keep my hands to myself!
Me - Fine by me!

TooOld, sounds like a good message!

Tbh there's no harm in a little nudge. I told my last one that I wouldn't be staying over but the rest was negotiable... Before we met for 'that' date (the 2nd )

Tbh I'd already decided to get the first try over with, he was a very nice kisser and it's always awkward until you've got used to each other isn't it. So romantic aren't I.

@CocoKoko123 Have you told him how you feel? @WarIsPeace I think once you like each other, it's better to get the first kiss out of the way, to break the ice, then everything (if at all) that follows after that will be relaxed and not tense/built up. Although it could also mean the longer you leave it the more tension is built up and then you explode - together! hahaha

Thanks to all who have replied
Sex is v important to me and we have actually dtd handful of times weeks ago just nothing since I’ve been back from a week away.i have tried talking to him about it on a couple of occasions but can’t get any further explanation out of him....

Oh I think I'd feel worse if it had happened before and then stopped. I find later dates weird if you meet out somewhere and there's no opportunity for it again. Iykwim.

warls there has been plenty of opportunity...

Coco I wouldn't be able to deal with that - at this stage you really should be at it like rabbits. I'd end it 😕

War doesn't sound dreadful, will you see him again?

I have my first date with a Tinder iron tomorrow at 11 - Mr Cavalier. As it's a daytime coffee/drink (for him!) date I'm going with an outfit of black skinnies, black boots and a fitted purple jumper that's flattering on the boobage. It'll have to do as it seems it will be raining a lot and the date's in central London so I'm going on public transport.

Definitely wasn't dreadful, he's expressed a vague interest in meeting again. If he asks I will I think.

warls - I think I'll have to get tipsy. He doesn't drink tho. The more I think about it the more awkward it plays out in my head!! I do fancy him, he's nice looking in a rugged way and fit. I just don't imagine him as a lover, as he's been so respectful, if that makes sense.

Good luck tomz Batshit.

I don't really drink either, I have been sober on all my dates (for practical and control freak reasons, not alcoholic or anything) but I make equally rash decisions when I'm sober

Yeah me too WarIs 😂 I'm a sort of 'ahh, why the hell not' sort of person. Just fixed a date for Wednesday evening with another guy from Tinder.

Now I'm really miffed, ongoing iron has cancelled tonight. I could have been doing something someone else on my child free weekend night

That is annoying!

Warls have you not got a back up plan/person? 🤣

Thoughts who are dating people (past the first date) are you buying valentines cards for your irons next week? I’m not really a fan of valentines (waste of money) but have a feeling I may have a date on Valentine’s Day, I don’t need to buy a card do I? I’m not expecting to get any from anyone 🤣

I hate Valentine's and never buy them.

super glad I’m not the only one, I’m hoping Mr South African feels the same, he did mention Christmas being too commercialised.

@Lovemusic33 I am totally expecting a card/flowers/the works from my iron! It'll be the first time I have been in a relationship/dating on V day, so yes I agree it is commercialised and a load of bullocks, but I would like to feel extra special on the day, especially as we are still in the very early days of everything.

help I hope you get the works for valentines. I’m not expecting anything, it’s my birthday the day after so it would be nice to get something for that but I won’t get my hopes up.

So 3 rd date last night
He is 20 years older than me ( 43 and 63 )
That’s not an issue for me , I thought about it carefully
Really noticed people were looking in the restaraunt . I genuinely don’t think it was “in my head “

He lives in London , I am outside in suburbs , he had come down to my home town and it felt “ different “

Also he talked a lot about his “ ex wife “ who he still refers to as his “wife “ He talked about her way too much . She doesn’t sound very nice or maternal actually . I am always “ 2 sides to everything “ and usually in the “ female camp “
I thought his divorce was done and dusted amicably enough ... that’s clearly not the case .

I messaged him and said “ I think you are wonderful but ... “

There is no need for anybody to buy a hat is there .?
Back to online I go