Dating Thread 146 - Swipe Left Swipe Right

[MyOldBrainStoppedWorking]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

That's a shame TheSheep I hope you can rearrange.

4 date has been and gone...no kiss. I don't think he likes me now. Is it nerves? I'm so confused. We get on well, and i thought there was sexual chemistry there. I was in his house for goodness sake! He was the perfect gentleman, but no kiss. There more than a few opportunities but he didn't take them. Should I have kissed him maybe? I'm really baffled now and a bit upset.

shit your date sounds creepy, I hope you sent him the “sorry, not my type” message straight after 🤣, I have had a couple dates where I felt like I’m being eyed up for some kind of fetish porn movie, have also had dates where they can’t keep their hands to themselves, horrible expereances.

@shitwithsugaron I think I am going to bring it up tonight! I don't see him as a friend, so if he sees me like that then it's better we end whatever this is now. At the very end i thought he was going to kiss me, but he didn't. So confused, I'm all for taking it slow and I'm looking for something long term with him, so i understand that there is no rush, but after a while it'll just feel like going out with a friend.

I'm just starting to wonder if he just doesn't see me like that and doesnt know how to say? But then why invite me to his house? He has even said that there will be further opportunities and the night before he said he couldnt promise he would be on his best behaviour when i got there, but he was!! He is supposed to be coming to my house for the first time next week, but if it's going to be like last night then i will have to say no! At this point I want a full seeing to (dtd)! after keeping me waiting for this long. However if he doesnt see me like that, then he should let me down gentle.

I’m feeling a tiny bit smitten this morning, woke up to a text from Mr South African, he also messaged as soon as he got home yesterday thanking me for lunch. I’m not used to this, usually men vanish on me after the first or 2nd date. He doesn’t text often and although I love texting I kind of realise he’s not really into it but he does message me in the morning and sometimes in the evening. The only thing I’m a little bit worried about is if he is dating anyone else but that’s just me being insecure and thinking I’m not good enough (that he might find someone better than me who doesn’t have kids). I’m trying to play things cool and take things very slowly, we had a proper kiss yesterday which was nice and there has been a few naughty innuendos between us.

Oh dear 4 dates and no snog doesn't sound good. I'd expect a smooch at the end of the first date if it's gone well. And the rest when everyone fancies it. Because testing compatibility is important! No point dating for 3 months then finding he's hopeless/ boring /hung like a hamster

helpmeout - I know what you mean. Date 3 with MrBirdsEye and just a chaste kiss on the cheek. He doesn't seem shy, just cautious but I don't want to build up a 'friendship' only to find he's crap in bed!
Love - sounds promising with MrSA.

helpme I hope you can have that conversation - that many dates and no kiss would be really odd for me.

shit I message my FWBs - we are friends! So sometimes it's chatty and sometimes flirty - it's part of it for me. I don't know whereabouts you are but I had a Mr Rugby from Fab ... he may have a verification from me if it's the same one!

Aww Love that sounds good.

Morning folks, looking for opinions please.

I've decided that as it's not likely I'm going to find anyone who is serious about a relationship, I'm going to join them in having fun in the meantime (i.e take the FBs/FWBs route). I reconnected accidentally with Mr 4amguy on a different app than before yesterday, we were talking and we clarified that he was looking for a a non-relationship set up. I'm at the stage where I'm thinking I spent the years from ages 17 to 38 with one man, so why shouldn't I get out there and have a little fun. I'll be 40 next month and I'm quite happy on my own, just want a man not need a man, so why can't I get some kicks and fun that I missed out on in my youth????

My question is Mr 4amguy is off work for a week, then away working for 2 weeks. Kids and I are off school /work this week for term break, so I have them at home. Stbxh/their dad word away weeks at a time so the arrangement is he has them for a straight few weeks when he is back from work. This means my social life is sporadic although my kids are older and can be left. My point is I have told Mr 4amguy I can't see him until he comes back from his next stint working away as I have the kids at home this week but they will be away next time he is back and I am 100% free.....do people in a FB/FWB who have older children leave them for a few hours and go say to have some fun? Or do you always wait until kids are with a childminder/other parent???

Thanks @BatshitCrazyWoman I will have that conversation, tonight in fact!! This is going to eat me up.

Reported my own post as attached the screen shot with his name and pic instead of the edited one 😟

scotgal my kids are grown and flown, but I wouldn't have had an issue leaving them for a few hours when they were older. And good for you - have some fun!! I was very young when I married so although I had some fun before I met him, I've definitely had much more post divorce! I would like to meet someone to share my life with, but there's no way I'm sitting chastely (is that a word?!) at home waiting.

Batshit what a vile message! I have been chatting to a couple of guys on Tinder and it soon became clear that they just wanted a FWB or NSA even though they said in their profile that they wanted a relationship. They both deleted the conversations with me very quickly when I said that I didn't want to chat on Kik or meet them at lunchtime during the week!

The Sheep sorry to hear that your date cancelled. Hopefully he will rearrange.

@BatshitCrazyWoman how original 🙄
Sounds like a 17 year old who spends too much time wanking into a sock

Hello! Can I join you guys?

I've just joined the Fab site. Mainly out of curiosity.

I was on OK cupid & pof years ago, I was also on this thread under a different user name. I met some interesting people (lycra man, sparky (there was no spark , the usual catfish ones etc etc) I'm still friends with a couple of the more 'normal' ones but didn't really click with anyone.

Had the conversation! So glad I did, he said he couldn't quite read my signals and didn't want to come across as though he was being too strong. Hes just trying to be a gentleman and do things the right way, he sees me in his life for the long run and didn't want to rush anything. He said now he knows how I feel he will act on his feelings rather than trying to restrain himself so much

help that’s great news. Feeling sorry for myself today. At a kids party - find these things really awkward. Sporadic (although daily) contact via message with iron. Just sexuallly frustrated also and don’t know what the hell to do...

@scotgal2017

I cant believe how similar we are, I was with my husband from 18 to 37 and prior to that with my son's father from 14 to 18 so I feel the same as you.
I'm having my fun now that I missed out on years ago. I don't feel like I need a man and although some guys I have met think I should be looking for a partner I always ask what a man could bring to my life that I don't already have and they usually reply a cuddle in the evening. I'm like , I'm fine as I am, I have a few FB's to call on when the urge arises.

Sorry I cant help with the older children question really, my son is 22 and away at Uni so only back for holidays. He is very mature so I just say that I'm off to see a friend for a few hours, he knows what I mean.
My daughter is 16 and with her dad in the week which makes it easier but sometimes I meet my FBs on a weekend morning but I have to sneak about and try and be back home before she wakes as she is not quite ready to face the fact that I am having sex with someone other than my husband (her dad). Its still quite raw for her as she does not know why we split.

I would say that if your kids are responsible and mature and you would leave them home alone if you went out for drinks/a meal with a friend then its fine to do the same to have sex.

@CocoKoko123

If you think you can live without sex then I would keep quiet and go with the flow especially if he is nice but it sounds like you cant live without it so I feel you need to speak to him about it.

I know he is blaming tiredness and ill health but most men are up for sex no matter how tired they are especially in the early stages of a relationship, admittedly it might slow down later on.

I think you need an adult conversation with him and to lay it on the line that you like and want regular sex and at the moment you are not getting that. And then ask him for his thoughts, as someone said before can he only have sex in one way, maybe he's got other sexual worries that he doesn't feel able to share.

For me personally, it would be a deal breaker, I love sex and want it lots and I wouldnt be afraid/ashamed to tell a guy that