Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Given tablet, has he cheated?

202 replies

Monday2018 · 27/01/2019 01:49

My Hb started having a really bad burning sensation, wanting to urinate but just couldn't. He went to GP Out of hours, but when he got home he placed a tablet on the table and said that's for you to take. I didn't understand and ask why's is it for me? He said doctor thinks you need to take it. Again why, what's it for? I asked. An infection, doctor thinks you may have given me an infection. I felt numb, I had no symptoms! Had my Hb cheated on me? I asked what infection? He said just take it. There was no leaflet. I have no idea what it was. Could it have been a bacterial infection. He's plumber, could he have picked something up from someone's toilet, blocked sink. Or do you thinks he's cheated and that tablet was for an Std? It was one single quite large tablet.

OP posts:
Littleraindrop15 · 27/01/2019 02:43

Doctor would never give tablet for someone else.. I don't know how he managed to get a tablet unless he will say oh I lost my prescription and get the doctor to write another one out presumably.

I think he got given chlamydia tablets as that's a 1 step medication.

You can not get chlamydia from toilet seat it can only be done via sexual intercourse. He has cheated no doubt!!

Original poster
Monday2018 · 27/01/2019 02:43

I've not really noticed anything on his phone. The only odd thing was he came home, freshened up but kept his work clothes on. He was a bit snappy with me, said he was in a rush, had to go back out. I asked where, he said he had service to do. This was out of hours, a bit strange I thought as he would normally mention it to me beforehand.

Sometimes I feel so so low.... There was me thinking I'm inadequate, a total failure for our the miscarriages and it may not even be me thats the reason they've not made. And there was me about to finish myself off because of the guilt and feeling like a failure.

OP posts:
Smotheroffive · 27/01/2019 02:44

I'm really not understanding why you have posted about worry around this tablet, advised repeatedly how wrong it would be to take it, yet within half an hour of asking and getting those replies you took it anyway?!

Sorry for your loss, I hope its not been caused by him, get tested urgently or you will never know.

thegreatbeyond · 27/01/2019 02:49

In the USA, they have something called Expedited Partner Therapy - means you can get STD medication for your partner sight unseen, essentially. I don't know if this is something that is done in the UK, if that is where you live.

Original poster
Monday2018 · 27/01/2019 02:50

I had already taken the tablet before posting. Too shocked to take it all in at the time and not wanting to believe it was anything bad. Then mind was doing overtime, thinking thst bus story didnt sound quite right. Hence why I wanted to check if anyone else thought it didn't sound right.

OP posts:
Smotheroffive · 27/01/2019 02:53

X-posted sorry

Smotheroffive · 27/01/2019 02:55

In the USA they dole out meds for other people with no box, label, name, brand, directions, instructions, side effects lists?

mathanxiety · 27/01/2019 02:57

Monday2018 Please, please go and talk to your doctor about your feelings around the miscarriages.

Please go to the OOH place and get answers from them about the visit of your partner.

thegreatbeyond · 27/01/2019 03:41

I don't know the specifics.

CryptoFascist · 27/01/2019 03:48

Probably gave you his tablet then phoned the doctor and said he'd lost it and got another one prescribed for himself.
Because he didn't want you going to the doctor and finding out about the Chlamydia, and that he's cheated.
Get him gone OP, he's revolting and has no respect for you at all.

Ella1980 · 27/01/2019 03:52

I was thinking that it may just be thrush which is not an STD. One or both of you may or may not have symptoms. I had it for the first time last year diagnosed by a nurse after she took some swabs. I had a tablet as treatment and advice was that if my fiance started to have any symptoms then to seek advice. Of course if anything else was found from those swabs I would have shared that information with my fiance, too.
But...
Did you partner not tell you what the medication was for? That is what raises a concern with me? If you asked him (which I'm sure you must have, what did he say?
Also...
Remember that STI symptoms can lie dormant for quite some time. So if either of have had previous partners, even one (which most of us probably have), then even if it was an STD does not necessarily mean he's been cheating?
I guess my biggest question would be is he being open and honest?

KirstyAllsoppsFatterTwin · 27/01/2019 04:07

Yes he could have carried it for years, but to be fair so could you. It’s going to be very difficult to pin this one down in terms of blame. I’d certainly be very suspicious if I were you, but it’s not a given that he’s cheated. The way he’s handling it says otherwise though.

KirstyAllsoppsFatterTwin · 27/01/2019 04:11

I can’t believe you just took the tablet without even knowing what it was or what the supposed condition was! Shock

Rtmhwales · 27/01/2019 04:12

Sounds like they've been together 8 years minimum, symptoms rarely show up 8 years later. And she would likely have been tested for STIs while pregnant with her first DC.

Besides, if you suddenly tested positive for an. STI after years together and hadn't cheated wouldn't you talk to your spouse instead of ham handedly shoving a tablet at them and telling them to take it for some unspecified infection?

mindutopia · 27/01/2019 04:19

I work in sexual health. Chlamydia can be treated with a 2 pill dose of antibiotics. It’s possible he’s chanced it by taking one himself and giving the other tablet to you. Importantly, if he has, this probably won’t be enough to get rid of it in either of you, so you need to get tested and protect yourself in the future because it’s possible he will still have it. Sorry op it’s a shitty dishonest way to go about it all.

Areyouongluedear · 27/01/2019 04:27

Whether he’s cheated is the last of your concerns right now. Op wake him up and ask what the tablet was, what if you have an adverse reaction? Please get to an out of hours right now and tell them what’s happened so the can do necessary tests. Worried for you Flowers

kateandme · 27/01/2019 04:47

op you are not a failure.regardless of what you dp did or didn't do you are NOT A FAILURE.sometimes really shitty things happen to really lovely people.
there is one thing right now though that you do have control over and that is how the next bit of your story goes.and that is by waking the fucker up and finding out what the hell is going on.
you sound like you need support right now for many different things.have you other family who can do that
sorry for this and your loss.big hugs

Ella1980 · 27/01/2019 05:04

You are not a failure in anyway. One thing I've learned (I was married for a decade to an abuser) is that nobody should blame themselves for other people's wrongdoings.
My advice would be to try to stay calm and establish the facts as best you can.
Ella x

Ella1980 · 27/01/2019 05:11

PS. I'm sorry about your loss. I had two miscarriages before my first son and I blamed myself for them for quite some time.They are not your fault at all, its just that we try to look for answers in the wrong place. Often the reason/reasons for a miscarriage is never known, this was the case for me. But it's definitely not your fault xx

SpinneyHill · 27/01/2019 05:33

If its a One pill course where did he get a Second tablet from? Did he actually take One?

HoppingPavlova · 27/01/2019 06:08

Sounds very nefarious. No way would I be letting him sleep, I’d wake him up and demand answers. Sorry OP but also no way in hell I would take an unknown tablet plonked down in front of me. Dr’s don’t give patients tablets for other people, that’s not possible. If you had an adverse reaction or were taking something else that was contraindicated with this medication they would be liable, you have to have your own consultation so they can check all that out before they give you anything.

It’s pretty obvious your husband has been given meds, decided to ‘split the dose’ with you and is not being honest. That means that neither he nor yourself is being properly treated if you do have something as you are not receiving the required dose.

I would wake him up.

HoppingPavlova · 27/01/2019 06:09

*are being properly treated

WoogleCone · 27/01/2019 06:18

Do you still have the packet? Can it be fished out of the bin? Maybe take it to the GP today in an emergency appt, without knowing what it is you dont know the side effects.

Tell him your at the docs because it's made you feel strange

cushioncuddle · 27/01/2019 07:16

I'd look in his van / car for leaflets and packaging.
Demand he tells you.
Book a doctors appointment. They can look on his records , not tell you , but be able to work out what the medication is.
A doctor doesn't prescribe for someone who isn't there.
It's not thrush is it and he's bought you a tablet to take as you may be reinfecting each other ?

dopeydogg · 27/01/2019 07:19

If it was thrush he would've said thrush, not infection. And given you the box it came in surely.

It sounds way more likely he's given you chlamydia. He'd be out the door if he was my husband.

Swipe left for the next trending thread