Perks of living alone

[Gemmajump]

Hiii!
I’ve just come out of a really shitty relationship and tomorrow me and my 3 year old are moving into our new home tomorrow (so technically i won’t be living alone haha)
I’m scared as I have never ever stayed in a house on my own (sorry I know I come across as a wet wipe) and I’m even more scared of being a single parent.
I’m so nervous so if anyone can give me any positives what I can keep reading that would be great!
Thankyou xxx

When you tidy up, no one else messes it up.

You can come and go as you please without waking someone else up (or being woken up by them).

No one eats your special treat food.

Good luck and well done for getting out.

Control of the remote and no one to judge when you eat crisps for dinner.

You can watch whatever you want on the TV. No more football!

No one hogging the duvet.

No leaving the toilet seat up.

No snoring.

No clothes left next to the washing baskets.

I can go in

Congrats on your new home and life. Good luck. X

The perks are endless -

Everything is done your way
You can keep it clean (or messy) if you like without guilt or frustration
You can go to the shops without having to justify why you want to go by yourself
You can eat whatever you want. Meals can be cheese and Kinder Bueno once in a while!
You can buy the food you like finally
You never feel uncomfortable, irritable or suffocated
You can watch films at whatever time you want. In fact, you can do anything whatever time you want.
You can decorate however you want.
Read whenever you like.
Have an early night without sending out unwanted signals.....!!

I mean, the list is endless. Since I started living alone I have never been happier. I still have my children but they are no bother, they enhance living alone alone. When they are at dad's, I just constantly have this fantastic sense of freedom. I am sure there are downsides, but for me, it's currently all upsides.

Perks: spending real quality time with your child; doing what you want when you want, having furniture where you want, having pink towels in your bathroom if you want, making the dinner you’d like at the time you want it; doing things your way with no criticism or anyone giving opinion; getting your child to bed easier as its quiet; having your friends round when you want; having charge of the tv remote control!
I remember being daunted living alone after my marriage ended but actually i loved it , so liberating! Then was a single parent too and was scared when DS was a baby but it was lovely just the two of us! We live with DP and thats lovely but have very fond memories of having own space! Good luck

I remember midnight shop raids, as toddler was awake, and the just grab your stuff and go out for the day...

Yes i forgot no snoring! Thats the bane of my life!

Ah yes, snoring. Horrible mental torture if you are a light sleeper hahahaha

No one criticising, no sneering
Eating what you want, when you want
Decorating as you wish
Your bathroom is as you left it
No-one breaking things and not telling you
No-one pushing you to spend money you don’t have
If I’m being lied to, it’s Only about how much homework has been done
And best of all, no more walking on egg shells. We can relax

Good luck

Bed to yourself
Only having to shop for yourself & child
Total ownership of the tv remote

No hairs in the sink
No one using the last of the bread/coffee/milk
No one to think of except yourselves

No shorty relationship!

Well done and congratulations on your new place.

Shitty not shorty!

THE FREEEEEEEDOOOOOM. The silence. The tv nights. The little cooking. Reading in bed. No tv in the bedroom. Evening alone or with friends aroind when dc at their dad. No arguing. No waiting for anyone. No need to prepare culonary delights if you can’t be arsed. No need to have two fecking veggies and bloody potatoes with every goddamned meal. Dancing with dds in the kitchen. Singing Bohemian Rapsody at the top of our lungs and having it on a loop for a whole afternoon. Cuddling up to watch a film or sleep all together and have pancakes for breakfast or cereals for dinner in front of the telly. Everyone always helps and set and clear the table. We argue rarely and then we apologise and we laugh. Lots of cats. Lots of love and joy.

It is bliss.

@thegrinningfox Sounds like my ex - he would have happily had meat, potatoes and veg every day! Apparently the veg in dishes like bolognese and stir fry doesn’t count...

You’ll be fine. Once you get over the newness of it you’ll love it. I was just so relieved to be honest. No more horrible man to deal with. Good luck and be happy x

Ooh yes thegrinningfox , dancing with dcs in the kitchen.

@dancer12345 I know!! What is that all about!

Kitchen discos are great!

Disclaimer: sometime-tbxh also finds it much easier and happier now. We have a very amicable separation and he seems to have found his balance too and dcs are as happy there doing completely different things to mine. Their last commemt was “daddy’s house is full of food because he goes to the supermarket every saturday, you never go!” “Too true” was my reply “but he has no million pets.”

Best thing we can now both be our best self and be good company to the children. It is a shame it didn’t work for the two of us and god we tried but hey, onwards and upwards. The future is full.

I've lived alone with just DS (4) since he was 6 months old. I love that it's just the two of us to clean up after (ex was basically a man child), I don't have to compromise how I prefer to live with how another prefers to live, same goes for parenting actually too.
I like that DS can sleep in my bed and there's nobody else to consider, so there's plenty of room for the two of us (I know having children sleep with you is controversial, but honestly I love it as I know he won't exactly be wanting to cuddle up to me so much as he gets older so I make the most of those little cuddles now).
I love it that I can watch what I want when I want without having someone nagging to watch their shit, or trying to watch a show with them when I just want to continue bingeing.
I like that I don't need to check in with anyone when I'm out, say what time I'll be back or where I am, or that I don't need to consider anyone else when deciding if to go out or just stay in and have a lazy PJ & movie day.

There's plenty of times when I do think I'd like to share my life with another person; times when I'm craving adult conversation (I do get this at work so not too bad, but sometimes it's just not the same), or times when I wish I had someone to share the parenting responsibilities with because I'm rather exhausted or exasperated with my pre-schooler driving me crazy, but on a whole I am definitely happier in my life right now as a single person rather than living with another adult.

I'm sorry for your situation OP, and I hope you start to feel better about it soon. I believe that once you and your child are settled and find your own rhythm, then you will look back on this time and wonder what you ever felt worried about. Things won't always be easy (in fact rarely) , but you most likely will find yourself much happier quite soon.

There's all the day to day things mentioned above but for me the best thing about living alone was that it gave me an amazing sense of accomplishment and boosted my self worth. It made me realise that that everything was down to me (scary at first) but I managed to organise everything and thrived as an individual. I was no longer dependant on anyone else (basic things like changing lighbulbs, phoning the water company, which I never had to do before.) But I got everything done that needed to be done and that was just so liberating to realise that everything was down to me and I was capable of getting it all done

Fellow single momma here and gosh the air of freedom, fresh air without having to seeing a boring face like back of a smashed bus.
The spontaneous activities with little one, the dance around the kitchen to good music, the cleanliness around the house, the long stay in bed at the weekends giving and receiving cuddles to and from little one. The generally doing things at your pace without any interference.
OP, the perks are endless and you will most certainly think " mmm life is really good indeed". Enjoy it girl!

No more sock fluff on the bedroom carpet and cups in the windowsill! God those 2 things wound me up for 22 years!!! You come back to the house after work as you left it, it stays clean for longer than the time it takes to put the duster away. The wash basket doesn't miraculously fill itself as soon as you empty it, oh and no more toothpaste splashes up the mirror!