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Original poster

Perks of living alone

164 replies

Gemmajump · 24/01/2019 23:09

Hiii!
I’ve just come out of a really shitty relationship and tomorrow me and my 3 year old are moving into our new home tomorrow (so technically i won’t be living alone haha)
I’m scared as I have never ever stayed in a house on my own (sorry I know I come across as a wet wipe) and I’m even more scared of being a single parent.
I’m so nervous so if anyone can give me any positives what I can keep reading that would be great!
Thankyou xxx

OP posts:
echidna1 · 27/01/2019 19:16

Has anyone mentioned that you know there will always be toilet roll in the loo, the loo seat will always be down and there will always be milk in the fridge.......Grin

echidna1 · 27/01/2019 19:17

cross posts reallemonade

missmouse101 · 27/01/2019 19:20

Oh my, how I wish for this....utter heaven.

Handbag101 · 27/01/2019 19:33

I'm currently already in bed. New throw, brushed cotton duvet set and pillows. Fairy lights on, candles on and just enjoying the peace.

nevernotstruggling · 27/01/2019 19:59

No one looks at your work outfit and accuses you of having an affair

YesitsJacqueline · 27/01/2019 20:06

I love living alone and have done most of my adult life, I lived with ex p for a few years and now it's just me and ds.
Nothing about living alone phases or scares me ....but the relief of not having someone making me miserable is immense. Home is a happy place now not somewhere I would dread returning to .

nevernotstruggling · 27/01/2019 20:48

I would find it hard to give up since I'd never tolerate an atmosphere ever again. Spent the weekend with the dds and their besties and honestly loved it. Felt like one of those times you will look back on as part of their v happy childhood. I hope they do

GrumpyOldMare · 27/01/2019 20:53

Not being scared of him coming home drunk.
Not having to sit through evenings of NCIS .
Being able to rearrange the house any time I want(even at 3am if I can't sleep)
My nibbles stay in the cupboard/fridge until I want to eat them.
Being able to have meals when son and I choose.
Having no one to answer too.
Being able to buy what I want when I want.
Silence in the evenings,no one talking AT me when I'm pottering online/reading a book.
Being able to be on my pc ALL day if I want without being accused of being lazy/obsessed/told that nobody online CARES about you and that they're just laughing at you.
My wages are MINE,they're not being poured down his throat in the pub once HIS wages are gone.
Being debt free at last-one more month and my rent arrears are gone.
being able to be the strong woman I was before I met him.
The house stays tidy.
The bed is all mine,no snoring/jerking/elbow in the face.

mystifiedinbrighton · 27/01/2019 22:58

Just the absence of a real grumpy bastard is the main perk for me!

MiraculousMarinette · 28/01/2019 10:10

I beginning to wonder whether there are any pros to be living WITH somebody now! Grin

unique1986 · 28/01/2019 10:31

Yeh most things.
The only thing I don't like is walking in the house in the evening, when its dark.
Sometimes double checking the front door it locked before bed.

coplings · 28/01/2019 10:33

@MiraculousMarinette me too!

missmouse101 · 29/01/2019 11:44

Probably the only pro for living with someone is sharing the costs!

carrotflinger · 29/01/2019 12:00

Not spending all of my time waiting because he said he would be home at a certain time to cook a meal/go out and then not turn up for hours because something came up at work (normally alcohol....)

Being able to go to bed at a reasonable time (or even an unreasonable time!) and be disturbed by him coming in late or being woken really early for him to go to work.

Not having to worry about what state of drunkenness he would turn up in and whether he would be rude and insulting.

Not having him threaten me with all the other women he knows who "want" him as soon as I asked him to do anything or said anything he didn't like.

Not having to listen to him moaning and whinging constantly about his job, his hobbies, his workmates, his family and how everyone hates him.

Not having to put up with his absolutely vile family being verbally abusive to the point where I believed I was a worthless, horrible person.

Being able to talk to others in social situations without him looking at me with that "look" on his face and then him criticizing me afterwards saying the people didn't like how I talked to them.

carrotflinger · 29/01/2019 12:03

Hardly any washing to do.
Much less housework because hell, did he make a mess!
Disgusting dirty work clothes and smelly non-work clothes lying around all over the bedroom floor like it was some kind of bachelor pad.
Going to bed in peace without him asking a thousand questions "Where are my pyjamas? Where is my Blistex? Where are my socks? Why don't you know?"
Him treating the place like a hotel
Being able to buy what I like when I like without him making comments.

nevernotstruggling · 30/01/2019 07:30

Being able to talk to others in social situations without him looking at me with that "look" on his face and then him criticizing me afterwards saying the people didn't like how I talked to them.

Massive hug but also really relate to this x

Lweji · 30/01/2019 07:34

It's great.

You can get quiet time in the evening.
You can stretch on the sofa.
You can watch what you want and MN what you want.
You can leave things to finish tomorrow without the other person thinking you left it for them.
Not having to consult another person before making decisions, checking schedules...
Depending on the partner, less tidying up and cleaning.

Lweji · 30/01/2019 07:35

More space, including closet.

Lweji · 30/01/2019 07:38

Oh! The sleep!!!

Happierwithouthim · 30/01/2019 08:14

My username says it all really Grin

So much less laundry to do, no one farting around the place literally, going to fridge for leftovers for work and finding that they're still exactly where you put them, no one questioning my judgement, no one giving me silent treatment (dc are too young to have learned that skill yet Grin), bed to myself, go to bed when I please, lying in until 10am occasionally isn't frowned upon, not being made to feel like a scolded child regularly and yes yes to being able to talk to people in social situations with no one to judge me, BEING HAPPY, content, no longer lonely in a marriage

having a vile meeting with H at solicitors yesterday has just reconfirmed everyone of these things for me Grin

user1479305498 · 30/01/2019 10:35

Although I am not separated , I can’t help but notice how much more myself I feel when he has worked away for the odd week a couple of times a year. Go to bed when I feel like it, not because he switches the TV off, the lack of moaning, can fancy ‘non meal’ stuff like cheese on toast for tea , watch some crap although I am selective on that, have an odd glass of wine if I feel like it and it’s not a Friday or Saturday without comment.

carrotflinger · 30/01/2019 13:27

Just looked at the floor while eating my lunch and realized another perk of living alone.
No messy breadcrumbs all over the floor. Don't know why he used to make such a mess when eating bread but he did. He would get crumbs on the table when eating and then brush them on the floor and NEVER hoover them up.
And then the fucker had the cheek to make comments like "You can never hoover enough" or "Maybe get up a bit earlier (he meant at 5 am with him when he had to get up for work) and you can do chores such as hoovering".
So yeah - no crumbs on the floor and I can hoover or not hoover as and when I like without someone criticizing me all the time.

NabooThatsWho · 30/01/2019 13:46

Lovely tidy house.
No one else’s useless crap filling up every spare cupboard.
Peaceful atmosphere.
No skid marks on the toilet or anyone taking an hour to shit and stinking the house out.
No one making me feel bad for going to bed early (he would rather me sit up til 2am watching his crap).
No one expecting sex, ever.
Having people over anytime I want and not having to worry about a man coming in and spoiling the atmosphere, making people feel awkward.
Making all the decisions to suit me and the DCs.
Decorating how I want.
Not having to compromise.
Never having to have in-laws in the house. Fucking great, that one.
Getting professionals in to do jobs, rather than him trying and fucking it up to save a few quid (when he has absolutely no experience but insists it’s better that he does it Hmm).
Eating what I want for all meals.
Nobody being nasty or criticising me in my own home.

Genuinely I feel like the only plus point to living with someone is the financial help.
I can have sex and enjoyable company in my home without having to live with someone.
But then I enjoy my own company and like being a single parent.

Having said all this, I’m currently living with ex until our house sells. Can’t wait to have my own space again!

Calmingvibrations · 30/01/2019 13:47

Complete control over organising your house. If you want to leave the dirty plates out, you can. If you want a super tidy house with no one else’s crap around, you can!

MiraculousMarinette · 30/01/2019 14:22

Genuinely I feel like the only plus point to living with someone is the financial help

Probably the only pro for living with someone is sharing the costs!

I can't even relate to that because my ex drained me financially and I am better off on the money front now that we're separated Grin