Perks of living alone

[Gemmajump]

Hiii!
I’ve just come out of a really shitty relationship and tomorrow me and my 3 year old are moving into our new home tomorrow (so technically i won’t be living alone haha)
I’m scared as I have never ever stayed in a house on my own (sorry I know I come across as a wet wipe) and I’m even more scared of being a single parent.
I’m so nervous so if anyone can give me any positives what I can keep reading that would be great!
Thankyou xxx

Ohh it is WONDERFUL. The first thing you need to do is work out what YOU like to do though. If you've not lived alone for a while that might take you a few days or even weeks. But once you do work out what it is you like to do you can...... do it.

It seems watching Bridget jones' baby whilst drinking crap wine and eating chocolate is one of the things I like to do..... who knew!?!?!

My husband moved out for a few months and after a couple of weeks adjustment it was bliss. He's been back home this week pending our house sale next week and a permenant split and it is grim. We are amicable but I find myself back making his dinner, watching his choice of TV and generally not doing what I want. I can't wait until we can go our separate ways properly next week! (I suspect he feels the same!)

Going star shaped in bed
Nobody leaving the loo seat up after you've asked them 1000 times to put it back down after use
Half the amount of laundry
Nobody leaving crumbs on the work surface ten minutes after you've wiped it
Nobody emptying the dishwasher but putting everything in the wrong place
Nobody leaving a wet towel on your side of the bed
No whiskers in the sink
No farty smells apart from your own
Watching whatever crap you want on the tv
Having beans on toast for dinner if you can't be arsed to cook
No snoring waking you up.
The list is endless, can you tell I sometimes fantasise about living alone?

@blindtipsy

I even found myself feeling a tiny bit sorry for OW the other day, who has gone from living with her husband straight to living with mine, because she won't be feeling all the lovely freedom, calm and sense of accomplishment that I have right now

Poor cow, she's gone from washing one mans skid marked undies to washing another mans skid marked undies without a break :)

Oh bloody hell, I forgot the sock fluff on the bedroom carpet!

Starting DIY projects at midnight 'cos you fancy changing the room around/painting the sideboard (Breton blue), binge watching the hell out of Netflix, showering with the door WIDE open, walking the dog at dawn, gym as often as you like, shopping for only things you like, looooong chats with friends on the phone - on the sofa! Friends wanting to drop by .... list is endless!

Half the housework, half the laundry. Listening to my own music and dancing in the kitchen. Not cooking on demand. Having immense joy in all the new renovations (small things only at the moment but there are plans!!!) on my home.

I LOVE THIS THREAD!

I’ll be joining you all soon and I’m frightened and anxious but this thread is like a warm blanket being wrapped around me

You can come home and know that you will have a lovely evening with your child waiting ahead. No more worrying about what mood the partner is in. What you have done wrong this time, to piss him off. Your home is a safe haven, not a place where you have to walk around on eggshells.

This with bells on

I've lived alone (well with ds) for the last 6 months.. for about a month I was lost, didn't know what to do with myself.

Now?

Happiest I've ever been!

Best bit for me is being able to go to bed at 9pm and not have to sit and be forced to watch shitty wheeler dealers stuff that doesn't interest me

There's so many perks to living alone with your DC! I've lived alone with my DC for years, I can't imagine living with a man again ever to be honest.

I listen to all my friends moan about their husbands and partners and I'm so glad I don't have to put up with it. Heres a few reasons just off the top of my head -
You can make decisions about your DC that you feel are right and parting them in the way that you want.
No in laws to contend with.
You can eat what you like, when you like. If you don't feel like cooking and just fancy toast for tea, you can.
You can go to bed as early or late as you like without being disturbed/ disturbing anyone
You get the bed to yourself
No snoring!
You'll have any amazingly close relationship with your DC as it's just you and them

I'm sure there's loads more but I'd be here all night

bed to yourself - treat yourself to some lovely high thread count linen (the best thing imo)

Don't have to wash their clothes
Don't have to cook big meals - you can have toast for dinner if you want
can watch what you want on tv. Or have nothing on if you want
Can buy what food you want
You can bring your child up as a huge feminist and not be accused of making them girly/brainwashing them (in fact my exH voted tory, so I've been remedying alot of what he taught them...).
You don't have someone telling you how to load the dishwasher
You only have yourself to tidy up after
no horrible poos in the bathroom
No stubble hairs in the sink
No drunken partner arriving back in the middle of the night

My bf appears to be moving in by stealth at the moment, and I'm not at all sure I like it. I love living alone (apart from the dcs...).

oh yes, no inlaws!

This thread has made me so happy.
I second what other posters have said, but to add my own niche positives:
Me and my boys can rock out to metal music wherever we like
I can have my collection of taxidermy animals on display
I can walk round in my knickers whenever I like
I don't do my hair if I'm not leaving the house
I only iron clothes when I want to
I don't have some arsehole telling me I'm a lazy bitch coz I've left the washing up for 24 hours
I feel safe
I can have friends over wherever I want

I'm so excited for you OP.
This is the first day of the rest of your life!! 😁

Oooh I've been living alone with DS since he was born!
Ok it was tough when he was tiny but now he's bigger (and sounds like your one is) it's much easier. the benefits are:

• becoming completely independent! learning how to fix things, repair things, take charge and be more practical - great life skills

• decorating exactly as I love it!

• no arguments over what to buy / not to buy, when to buy etc.

• declutter and organise as much as you like - it's your own stuff and no-one is going to have a go at you because they can't bear to part with their precious 70s dressing gown / nasty slippers etc etc

• leave cleaning, if you want to. or keep super clean and no-one else will leave a mess for you to clean up! (Except DC obviously)

• Decision making completely your own - control over your own bills, money, life admin, etc etc.

• Time spent is your choice - go where you want when you want without having to agree it with someone else! no clashing with someone else about your plans.

• The longer you do it and the more practical you are the less crap you will take from anyone else, it's a benefit of your own independence - I notice so much how other people I know in couples etc (not all couples) moan about their other half and have battles about decisions and so on. I would never put up with the behaviour of some of their partners!

Best of all is decorating as I want it. Buying a gorgeous table because I like it! Or some flowers to treat myself.... becoming a superwoman too!

Good luck OP xx

Reading undisturbed. Cooking what you want, when you want. Not being scared, not having to keep the noise down because he’s in bed again. Whole sofa to yourself. Eat smelly food!

Oh god I love it. It’s just me and 18mo DS at home.

I can spend 20 mins tidying up after I get him to bed and the house is neat and tidy. I cook what I want, eat what I want, I’m treated with respect in my home.
I love how quiet it is in an evening.
I am totally and utterly in control. It sounds scary but, fuck me, it’s empowering.
Me and DS can face the world heard on, no fear.

I've lived alone - no partner, no kids - for 12 years and with every year that goes by, the idea of cohabiting with some bloke becomes less appealing. Some people might find that really bleak, but I wouldn't want it any other way now. The best part is not feeling obliged to do anything constructive on a Sunday if I wake up and can't be bothered to expend any energy. I can pop out to the shop for a bag of popcorn and some Maltesers and then spend the whole afternoon watching box sets. I know you can do that with a partner but you have to compromise on what you watch, share your snacks... when I'm at work all week I want my downtime to be about me and not about appeasing anyone else.

I have to admit, i am a little scared myself about being a single mum the usual things like how are we going to eat, is there going to be enough money to pay for things, but like the others say there is so much to look forward to, when my son goes to bed sometime I just sit in his chair in his room and read a book it's so peaceful. I like not having to watch motorsport from march to november, and being able to eat or not eat what ever i want. I like watching the tv series on neflix without it being in swedish sub titles, i love playing music cd's and dancing around the living room and having movie afternoon with my son eating chocolates and popcorn.

I still worry and will continue to do so for a while i guess, having been financially secure with a man or patner for past 15 years it's hard doing it on your own but it really is worth it.

You can go to the toilet with the door open. Weirdly freeing. And fart very loudly , with no-one commenting.

No longer coming home from work to a man who never cleaned or cooked and a man blaring emimen and biggie acting as if he was a gangsta, when in reality he never worked in his life and was a v sad alcoholic and only abused women

Everything above plus bought myself a brand new Alfa Romeo last year (was never allowed one as they are unreliable) turns out she is much more reliable than that twunt ever was!
Sometimes you get a bit lonely but in all honesty I would never want to live with anyone again apart from my children. (Adults now)
My life is mine, I do what I want, when I want with who I want.

Omg, YY to no more mindnumbingly boring days with in-laws.
Pj days on Sunday watching reruns of Columbo and saying screw it to the (now much smaller) load of ironing.
Totally redecorating the house from top to bottom and using colour! My bedroom is beautiful and ultra feminine now.
When dc with their dad I can go out wherever I want, or stay in and read/craft/research holiday ideas to places want to go.

And everything else pp said!

Eat whatever I please
Do whatever I want at a moments notice
Not have to cook a Sunday roast
Not have to listen to some drunk idiot crashing in every night peeing all over the floor or worse
Not have constant low level “jokes” deriding me
Not be crushed when you have made a huge effort on something to have it ignored
Not have a lovely candle lit room and someone walk in and switch on all the lights
Not listen to a running commentary on the shortcomings of every other driver
Not having to listen to a blow by blow account of his day while mine can be summed in one sentence

Can you tell I love living with just my now adult DC it’s been 9 years and I’ve forgotten what it was like so thank you for the thread and good luck with your new future!

Great thread. As I'm separating from a vegan I can't wait to eat a pork chop once in a while without feeling like I have to decontaminate the area as if it was a slab of novichok.