Perks of living alone

[Gemmajump]

Hiii!
I’ve just come out of a really shitty relationship and tomorrow me and my 3 year old are moving into our new home tomorrow (so technically i won’t be living alone haha)
I’m scared as I have never ever stayed in a house on my own (sorry I know I come across as a wet wipe) and I’m even more scared of being a single parent.
I’m so nervous so if anyone can give me any positives what I can keep reading that would be great!
Thankyou xxx

Things GET DONE!
Because I do them, I don’t have that stupid dance that went on for months: I’ll do it next weekend, I’m tired etc. And if I started doing them, I’d get a whole barrage of abuse, about how controlling I am, that he didn’t do them because I was nagging and he was fed up with it etc, making it my fault anyway. (The reason why I needed him to do stuff was not because they were man jobs, it was because I simply did not have the time. I had to do all the shopping/cleaning/organizing by myself anyway, on top of a full time job and a small child, when he was working part time and sleeping till 11 at the weekends, when we had to be quiet).

No idea what the f**k was that all about, but I regained half my time back since living on my own.

No more having to justify my needs. It was like a frigging business case, if I needed any time to myself, if I needed a haircut or a new dress, I had to prepare, to explain why, to ....christ, I can’t even be bothered to type all that crap.
Bottom line is I find it infinitely easier to simply go buy a sports bra and not having to sneak it into the house, so he doesn’t lose his shit I spent money. That type of thing.

I am currently enjoying a cup of coffee in my bed, with the lights on, I’m gonna go for a parkrun in a minute and I don’t have to worry about waking anybody up, breakfast etc, my teenager will get up late, make her own breakfast, she’s not bothered I took 30 mins to myself this morning.

I wonder why we all left these Princes!

@floydian

@Floydian ooooooh exh has become e an more rabid about being an eco warrior since we split I'm so far away from that shit. I make the dds pancakes at weekends. They came home from dads and said oh daddy made some but insisted on using.....lentil flour which is weird and yuck so they say.

@8FencingWire god the joy of a contractor now. I have to practically sell a long but the joy of phoning up the flooring company for example and getting a quote and an appointment that that god forbid they arrive at and....do the work!!!! Instead of waiting months or years for exh to do it....badly if at all.

When I was at uni I read a journal paper about disposable income. Single mothers spend a much bigger portion on their dc than coupled parents and there was loads about the man seeing it as 'his spending money' and the woman seeing it as money for the kids. And o mean portion/percentage not money in general either. I know this is true, both in my life and in my clients 100%

My husband moved out recently. I have 3 ds under 6. I love that I tidy up and it stays that way (other than the kids crap). I can watch wjat I want on TV. I can do what at I want etc.
I've decorated how I want. And I've leanrt I can do anything I put my mind too. I've decorated 2 rooms by myself when I used to rely on h to do all that.

Well done for being brave enough to move out.

You can live on toast and cereal.
No obligation to spend 3 hours cooking a roast on a Sunday. Just go and buy one in a restaurant if you fancy it.
No horrible toilet habits to put up with.
You can have pale pink sheets and fluffy pillows if you want.
No having to suffer awful bloke programmes like wheeler dealers and pawn stars

Fuck me, literally everything.
Not having to watch TV
Boiling the kettle with only enough water for one mug
Walking to the local corner shop (5 mins walk) instead of using the car for a much longer journey (thanks to the one way system)

Plus all the things previously mentioned.

I was so afraid of being on my own when I left! I let things like "But who will put flat packs together" keep me trapped. Well it turned out "I will" was the answer, along with a cordless screwdriver.

No rugby or car racing on tv.
I can talk to dc all the way through what we are watching.
Food is always what I want when I want it.
No drunk snoring.
A lie in.
I can read an uninterrupted book.
Long baths.
I am now debt free.

For the record, it is 11:00 am and I am still in bed.

I'm sorry, but all of you blathering on about having the bed all to yourself are living in a fool's paradise.....

I've never lived with anyone, but I crawled out of bed this morning feeling like my spine had been reorganised by a toddler with a lego obsession.

That bloody cat takes up as much space as a man.

No boner being rubbed against your leg whilst you're trying to make the kids breakfast/do the laundry/eat.

Shutting the door behind you and knowing that if anyone comes in, it will be with your permission.

Becoming the proud owner of power tools that are not a symbol of how amazing a man is.

Turning the heat up when it is cold without comment.

Ability to end a relationship at the drop of a hat.

Reading this has made me miss my single parenting life to be honest - I really did love it.

I'm happily married now with another baby but I did love that time on my own with my older dc's.

Let's put it this way, if me and dh split....would I be scared of doing it on my own again? No not at all.

You can do it! :-)

I found it easier coming out of a relationship with my ex and doing it all in my own.

Meeting dh and adapting to a new person and his kids and the whole blended family thing, ex's getting in the way...that's way harder x

Being able to budget full stop. £33 in my account until payday on Thursday but the cupboard and the fridge and the fuel tank and the dinner money account are all full up and I'll sleep easy

After 20 years with my ex I am enjoying having my place so much that I feel absolutely no desire to move in with anyone again. I'd be absolutely fine sticking with the current arrangement of meeting up with bf two/three days a week.

Ravenmum I completely agree.
I'd hate to have to share living space with a man again.
I was married for 20 years and that was more than enough. Love having the place to myself.
I have a BF who I only see every 2 weeks when the kids are at their dads and that's enough for me.

OP how are you feeling now that's you've moved into your new home? I hope this thread helps a bit

This thread is awesome 😊. I'll hopefully be living on my own later this year, and I can't wait

Love this post it's just made me arrange an appointment with the solicitors and start looking at affordability on getting out, early days but I've been in limbo for 4 years.

I crave my own space, dread hearing his car on the drive and love my ds's but feel he interferes with my relationship with them.

@arhhhhhnofreeusernames interfering with your relationship with ds. I really really relate to that and it wasn't the biggest issue by a long stretch. My relationship with dd1 recovered almost instantly when exp moved out and she is so much calmer and cheerful and her school work is amazing now and she keeps getting awards.

Love this thread. I’m living with parents at the moment after relationship breakdown and really daunted at living alone with DD in a house but you lovely lot have made me feel excited for this!!

Parenting is much easier. You learn to trust yourself so much more. And you get to know yourself again