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Original poster

I'm in the back of the car being punished

168 replies

BelleEnd1 · 12/01/2019 11:28

DH is going to watch some sport today with friends. I was encouraged to come along with the DC beforehand for lunch. I'm then meeting a friend later. We've got to drive a way to get there.
We had a small row before we left because we both got snappy that we were running late and annoyed at each other for not doing things to get the kids ready.
He then said in front of the DC that I was being a prick and he didn't want me to come and meet his friends because I'm an embarrassment. Kids were all ready to go so I said we'd drop him off and go off and do our own thing. He said thanks.
He's done the car seats so I'm sat in the back.
I'm fucking fuming.
I'm sure I'm partly to blame for this ludicrous argument but I'm so cross and wondering what on earth I'm gonna do with me and the kids and why I'm sat in the backseat like a naughty child.
I'm literally considering taking the kids to a hotel tonight but not sure if that's irrational anger.

OP posts:
ILoveMaxiBondi · 12/01/2019 11:30

Why did you agree to go once you’d seen what he did? You should have just told him to go alone.

Original poster
BelleEnd1 · 12/01/2019 11:31

Yes, I should have but we were literally going through the door and eldest DC was excited. He also made a point of telling him that the DC were very welcome to come to lunch with him (a dig at me that went over the kids' heads)

OP posts:
SuperLoudPoppingAction · 12/01/2019 11:33

He's treating you horribly and it's also nasty for your children to see you treated that way.

LovingLola · 12/01/2019 11:34

Your poor kids.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 12/01/2019 11:34

So you should have called his bluff And let them go with him and gone and enjoyed a bit of time to yourself. Don’t be a martyr.

Original poster
BelleEnd1 · 12/01/2019 11:36

They couldn't have gone with him because he's buffering off to watch sport

OP posts:
Pissedoffdotcom · 12/01/2019 11:37

I'd have refused to get in the car. If he wants to be a dick he can take the DC & suss out what to do with them when he wants to watch his precious sport. Bet he'd be all nicey nicey if he realised you were serious

babba2014 · 12/01/2019 11:40

Yes at that point you should have let the kids sit in the car and then go back in the house and close the door. That's not on really

ILoveMaxiBondi · 12/01/2019 11:41

They couldn't have gone with him because he's buffering off to watch sport

That’s his problem to solve. He said they could come with them, he has to follow through. Or else explain to them that he didn’t actually mean what he said.

Kittykat93 · 12/01/2019 11:42

No fucking chance I'd let my husband treat me like a naughty child.

Why are you sitting in the back not saying anything???

Original poster
BelleEnd1 · 12/01/2019 11:44

kittykat partly because I'm so fucking fuming and partly because I really don't want a row in front of the kids

OP posts:
ILoveMaxiBondi · 12/01/2019 11:45

Which he knows and is why he did it. He knew you would just put up with it to avoid a row.

Fairylightfurore · 12/01/2019 11:45

Si he invited you along so he could get a lift there and then go for a drink?

sackrifice · 12/01/2019 11:46

When you get where you are going, get out the car and walk away from the car and leave him to sort out the kids. Book a hotel room for the night.

Wanker.

Original poster
BelleEnd1 · 12/01/2019 11:46

Fairy would appear so... looks like I was a bit fucking slow with that one

OP posts:
Whisky2014 · 12/01/2019 11:49

She you arrive you let him take the kids and say mhmm has just remembered an errand to run. Go home and enjoy your time off. Switch off phone! Play him at his own game

Sunkissedbeachdream · 12/01/2019 11:49

Have you asked him what he means by "you're an embarrassment"?

I'd be livid if someone said this to me

Whisky2014 · 12/01/2019 11:49

When*
Mummy*

teainthemorning · 12/01/2019 11:51

Well there you are then - you have the upper hand don't you op ? When he goes off to his lunch, you drive yourself and the kids anywhere you choose. So long as it's too far away to possibly go back and pick him up after his fun afternoon with his mates.

Original poster
BelleEnd1 · 12/01/2019 11:53

Not sure on the embarrassment comment.
We were rushing. He was snapping that I had had an hour (50 mins) to get ready but was still rushing round - getting stuff ready for the kids whereas he'd had 5 minutes (20) - but that's because he had gone back to bed for a sleep.
He says I "always do this". And he's right, I am always rushing and late and it makes me super stressed but I do find it hard with two small DC

OP posts:
Original poster
BelleEnd1 · 12/01/2019 11:53

tea Oh I absolutely won't be fucking picking him up.

OP posts:
SimplyStruggling · 12/01/2019 11:54

2 choices:
Either drive straight home with the kids once you've dropped him off. Don't worry about disappointing the kids.... it's hardly atreat for them, is it?

Or as you approach your destination, order an Uber. Get out of car and into taxi. Go meet your friend early. He can figure out what to do about the kids.

sackrifice · 12/01/2019 11:55

What does he do whilst you are rushing around?

Original poster
BelleEnd1 · 12/01/2019 11:56

@sackrifice make comments about how I'm always late, play on his phone, tut etc

OP posts:
sackrifice · 12/01/2019 11:58

So he does nothing apart from slag you off to your face.

Thereby making you more stressed rather than pulling his weight.

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