Dating thread 145: new year new adventures

[Notcoolmum]

apparentlyacatch I’m sorry to be such a mum but please don’t invite men round to your house in the first date. You are putting yourself in a v vulnerable position. These men are strangers and you know nothing more about them than what they have chosen to tell you.

He now knows where you live, what possessions you have, seen pictures of your kids, your car, where you put your keys etc.

So 3rd date tonight with Mr S and we are totally DTD! Excited and nervous!!

@Leatherandsilk I don't think you'll ever know so best not to torture yourself over it. Sometimes it's the tiny things, plus people can be whatever you want online, but different in real life

Leather maybe he met someone else or was embarrassed that he had been so forward with you, emotionally, before meeting? Or maybe he is looking for a FWB and didn't think you were up for it.

Lovemusic33 Thanks! I'd be absolutely terrible at internet dating, so I'm in awe of all of you.

I also got chatting to a guy while running this morning (did a race). Didn't swap numbers but he mentions he lives in the same area as me and we're both runners, so who knows. He was very cute but not very tall.

This afternoon I'm meeting the guy, T, who introduced himself yesterday morning when I was having coffee.

And J (one from dinner on Friday) asked me out for this coming weekend.

shitwithsugaron yes google it!! I only heard about it as it must have been mentioned In a previous thread. Didn’t expect to encounter it. Basically too much wanking meaning can’t ‘finish’. So disappointed.

Thanks everyone. It's just for an hour in the pub in the next village (tiny village full of farmers) so I think jumper and jeans,make my eyes nice and hair good?! I wasn't like this six months ago and just had my confidence knocked abit lately. Completely not over invested as only started messaging Friday and I like the way messages have stopped ( he said will message when leaving tonight) so none of this high expectations with loads of messaging before a meet.
Thanks for replies

user1466783975 Your date sounds lovely, have a great time!

batshit and never expected thanks so much for your kind words! Good luck to everyone in the dating game!! 💪

shiteithsugaron I’ve no problems with masturbating but I want my sex life to be mutually enjoyable and varied. I don’t want to end up feeling unattractive and crap in bed.

So I messaged him today along lines of - if you'd decided we weren't a fit you could have just said. Ghosting is just rude. Hope he finds whatever it is he's actually looking for. He's replied apologising saying he suffers from low moods and when he does he shuts down. He said he's not sure he should be looking to date when his life is so messed up so will be deleting the apps. It's a cop out I know but at least I know early before invested in him. I'm slowly losing hope of finding anyone normal on the apps

Good luck neverexpected2

Neverexpected2 Have you met any dates in real life? As in, not on an app?

Julianaa - no, been single nearly 2 years and not met anyone in real life in that time which is why I joined old

Ah ok. I guess keep on keeping on. Hope the next one turns out to be more straightforward.

@Neverexpected2 there are normal ones out there. I'd say the majority on here are online dating and rarely meeting anyone in real life so just read the rules, dust yourself off and onwards and upwards!

Thanks all. I'm not going to give up, I'll stay on apps and see if anything comes along. If nothing else it's building up my confidence to pull people on their crap and not take any shit - which is much needed after what my ex dh put me through

I managed to last a whole week on POF but I've decided to delete my profile tomorrow, if nothing happens this evening.
The same thing happens every time I try. I get lots of views. Then I get lots of messages from either blokes who are miles away (over 100 miles in some cases) or from the usual couch potatoes who message every woman.

I never get any messages from anyone even vaguely normal looking. I send loads of messages to just about every local man in a 20mile radius. And get no replies.
I get that it's a numbers game but there is no one left now that I haven't messaged (apart from the ones no one is likely to go near). Not sure what else I can do.

shitwith at the moment I'm only on POF. I tried Tinder before Christmas, got loads of matches - think I got around 50 in 2 weeks which is unheard-of for me. But out of that I got one date.

This time on POF I thought I'd message just about everyone and see what replies I got back. That must be the wrong approach because the men look at my profile but don't reply.
I'm doing something wrong but I'm not sure what.

I was only ever on POF and OKC (I'm in London which I do think helps. I'm the wrong side of 50 though which probably doesn't ) and I found there were 'lulls' and quiet patches, then busier ones. Being on two sites helped because the lulls didn't seem to be at the same time on both sites!

I actually had TWO people swipe right on me yesterday!

Neither were my cup of tea, but it was exciting for a minute or so...

I finally plucked up courage to put my profile live on POF last night after weeks of deliberation and tinkering with it. I've had a few messages but only one that I think I would want to probably get to know a bit more.

Would you reply to someone who has messaged "Hi how are you x".
Is it a bit familiar to to put a x on the end first time you message someone or is that a completelty normal/reasonable first message.

Sorry I'm completely out of the dating game for years, I haven't a clue. I will probably have loads of equally ridiculous questions in the coming weeks if that's okay!

CKfan If I liked the look of them, then I would reply. It's lazy messaging but after you've sent out 50million zillion carefully worded messages and got zero replies, it's tempting to just go with something simple.

The 'x' seems to be normal these days. I don't like it. Some of my friends do it all the time.

ckfan I wouldn’t reply unless I really liked the look of them. That’s a very generic message sent out to lots. The ‘x’ is meaningless and most use it.

Thank you everyone, i agree it does sound very generic, and there was no capital letter to be seen which isn't a good sign