Dating thread 145: new year new adventures

[Notcoolmum]

apparentlyacatch I’m sorry to be such a mum but please don’t invite men round to your house in the first date. You are putting yourself in a v vulnerable position. These men are strangers and you know nothing more about them than what they have chosen to tell you.

He now knows where you live, what possessions you have, seen pictures of your kids, your car, where you put your keys etc.

So 3rd date tonight with Mr S and we are totally DTD! Excited and nervous!!

I'd def have to like them too. Did any of them come round to you?

Only one and only once. Usually it was hotels or their place.

Interesting discussion about FB and FWB.
I would like one but so far I've struggled to find anyone remotely interested.

One of mine was an ex from long ago. One I met OLD and another via a hook up site. I'm very picky!!

Has he suggested another date shitwith?

Well you can either let it fizzle out, which is a bit mean, or text and say it isn't working for you, and you wish him luck in the future.

ahhh still no msg after last night, its so hard not to take it personally!!!

@Apparentlyacatch he sounds a bit of a bozo, you can do better

eesha yeah I know, I seem to be attracted to bozos unfortunately. Just a msg to say sorry your not for me would be fine! I'd be gutted but Atleast I can accept that.

@Apparentlyacatch I think you learn from these and accept better the next time so I wouldn't worry, one date does not define you

It does make you wonder what they are thinking? After a date i think about that person or what happened on the date - the ones who ghost do they not think about you at all? It would be interesting wouldn't it to know what there thoughts are!

I'm presuming I've been ghosted again too . The one I was suppose to be meeting Wed night messaged this morning and I replied and then nothing since. Not sure why he bothered messaging if he had no intention of replying. Haven't been unmatched yet but assume that will be done tonight if he doesn't message later. Why do they so it?!

Back to drawing board ...... again

I just think you are going to get weird, thoughtless people in any situation. I chatted to someone for a few weeks then met. He actually flagged distance as an issue, I agreed, then he blocked me, no bye or anything! The decent ones send a note saying no chemistry etc. The former just make me think no wonder you are alone!

Exactly!! They are the ones who are going to end up alone because they've lost all respect for people and just treat them as disposable which is sad. Rejection is a truly awful feeling

Never I get ghoasted a lot, pretty sure Mr Vegan has now vanished because I upset him earlier, he told me he was going to bed as he’s unwell, haven’t heard from him since, no great loss, if he can’t handle the fact I talk to other people on POF then he’s probably a jealous controlling person. I shall find someone else to talk too.

This will be the 3rd to have ghosted me so far. Some men are such cowards

I haven't been blocked or anything he's just ignored my msg from this morning. I just think it's an awful way to treat someone even if you have just met them!

I think if we're going to put ourselves on public Internet forums like dating sites then we have to expect the bad stuff. It's human nature unfortunately to be cowardly and not deal with things because it's easier to be anonymous .

I've been stood up, ghosted and catfished loads. I hate it but I'm still here

I agree apparently - when I knew there was no spark with the men I went on dates with I sent them a nice message saying it was nice to meet them but I'm sure they agreed there was no connection and wished them luck with their future old. How difficult is that?!

I tried always to do that (polite 'thanks but no thanks' message). But I've had abusive messages from men after that - such entitled behaviour (because they want to see me again I should want to see them). There was one I thought I'd have to go to the police about because of constant messaging. So a polite message like that isn't always received in the same way

But then that's not your problem you have done the nice thing by being polite and saying no - if they then choose to respond negatively then it's their fault they are blocked etc

I get ghoasted by most dates I go on, usually after the first or 2nd date and then there’s the ones who I never actually get to meet yet they are soooo looking forward to meeting me and then they vanish. I have got used to it and I kind of expect it now, I don’t get too comfortable with anyone until at least date 5 or 6 (I rarely get that far).