Married man?

[RealEyes]

So the guy I mentioned in my last post “WhatsApp” turns out he’s married. He’s tried to deny it, says it’s “complicated” and they are “separated but living together for their kid” she has all her profile pictures as them both.

Why are guys such dicks, why can’t they be honest.

I've been in your position and I did what you have, the lady in question and I became good friends, I felt so guilty about it even though I didn't know, she told me I helped her with the decision to get away from him, still felt overwhelmingly guilty and dirty about the whole thing x

@flameycakes that's how I feel. Guilty for telling her, guilty that I've been part of this hurt (whilst I didn't know).

I hope I have helped her in some way. I would want to know if it was I.

I think it's unlikely you will get any answers from him, you might get some answers from the wife thou. Your reply to her was very nice.

I've had another thought... what do others think...

Could the wife's response be genuine and she has checked his phone and found other women....

Or could the wife be planning on staying with him and thinking the OP are trying to split them up and claim him therefore making her think there are other women to put her off him????
Just a thought.
Your doing great OP xx

@Donkdonkgoo I thought she was trying to hurt me. That was first my thought when I read the message, I didn't want to respond but decided I should with a dignified one.

Why I thought it was strange...

Why would he just hand over his phone with all the girls texts in? And wouldn't mine be in there if he's kept them.

Either way OP your response was spot on. And the fact you are not asking her any questions or contacting her backs up how genuine you are. All you are doing is answering her questions.
He might have done this before and she puts up with it 😕.
X

@Donkdonkgoo True, It doesn't matter if what she said is true or not.

No, it doesn't matter if it's true or not. You are well rid anyway. If he's a serial cheater and she just puts up with it, that's her choice. It's not the life for our lovely @RealEyes

Wow. You have handled this situation with dignity and kindness to the wife.
You rock!

@QueenOfTheCroneAge 😂😂 it's not the life for me at all

@Habadabadoo thank you 🙏🏻

Staying in a relationship like that is a total headf**k, it consumes you, constantly looking over shoulder, trying to analyse ..truth ...paranoia ...a look from someone in a bar ...a supermarket, is he really away with work.... then your spirit dies, then you feel nothing for anything .... then you hate them then you leave.... then THEY want you back! and it's too late... you've gone.

There's a better life waiting for you OP x

@Donkdonkgoo I really need to hear that right now. Coz I feel sad over the whole thing.

I don't know how to get past this. I know time will help, but I miss the way we were before I found out (pathetic)

I don’t think she was lying. I think she was just incredulous that not only did he gave you, but he had others too. She’s hurt and angry and right now you’re probably the only one she feels she can be honest with. There’s nothing to say that your messages aren’t on there. She wanted some from you before confronting him, now she’s confronted him she’s got him to hand his phone over. For such a player he’s a bit of an amateur only having one phone and leaving messages on there.

Stay angry with HIM.

Don’t bother with questions.

Look at it this way. It was 4 months, roughly 16 weeks. You had him sussed and dumped. You did really well! Stop beating yourself up. There ARE good guys out there, don’t cut off your nose to spite your face! Trust yourself. You did fine!

Of course you feel sad 😢. Of course you miss who you thought he was. That’s normal. It’s not pathetic 💐

It's really hard when you think your life is going in one direction then it changes just like that and then your going in another direction....this is what I find hard when a relationship breaks up unexpectedly.

You might not realise it right now but this shitty experience will have made you grow as a person, you will be stronger and wiser once you've had chance to heal.
My last relationship was with a lovely very tall handsome guy, we got on great, had lots in common, he ticjed every box and I loved him... but I had a gut feeling something didn't quite fit, I held a little bit back emotionally and when the relationship ended (quite amicable) it didn't hurt as much and we parted still respecting each other. I got over him very quickly. even though he was the hottest guy I've ever dated

@ILoveChristmasLights this is an amazing message. Really helped Thank you so much!!!

@Donkdonkgoo you certainly live and learn. I don't think I'll open up again the way I did with him.

I do believe your gut knows what your head hasn't quite realised yet.

⚘⚘ X

Sending daily hugs

You are all so kind @summersoonplease @MumsyJ

You make me well up with just your lovely kindness. Means everything to me

They see laughter is the best medicine ... maybe watching this film would help?

@YankeeDad that's a great film. It was on recently actually.

I agree that laughter is the best medicine. I'm going through a tough time at the minute but I'll tell you what made my piss my pants (not literally): Mumsnet Madness on Twitter. I didn't even know it existed, until the other day. It's full of the craziest stories off this site. Jesus Christ alive, I was browsing for hours upon hours. It's a long, long time since I've laughed like that. 🤣🤣🤣

Take a peek ladies if you have met done so already.

*done not met 🙄

*not (NOT met) Good God! 😬