Married man?

[RealEyes]

So the guy I mentioned in my last post “WhatsApp” turns out he’s married. He’s tried to deny it, says it’s “complicated” and they are “separated but living together for their kid” she has all her profile pictures as them both.

Why are guys such dicks, why can’t they be honest.

@BeepBeepBop1 he's 33

I can't believe the lies he's told me when I think about it. How I'm the one, the texts every day telling me he misses me and can't wait to be with me. Why go to all that trouble when you have a wife.

I can only imagine the lies he's told her and telling her now.

There's no way he can deny it from what I've sent. She'll see he was the always the one saying it.

He will lie his way out of it.

I still feel sick and pathetic for believing him

33 going on 3 ... I hope she is firm with him and he's honest about it all. It's took a lot of guts to do what you've done so be proud of yourself x

HE'S the sick and pathetic one! you aren't the first, and sadly, won't be the last. Look on it as a sharp learning experience. Set your Insta to private, and be careful who you allow to follow you. I had one guy follow me - and he sent a "hi" message. I looked at who he followed - 99% women. Ugh.

Don't blame yourself. It's not your fault he's a lying piece of shit. You believed him because he deceived you. He built up your trust and created a fictional life for himself. Sadly, the internet is a haven for such men to lure their victims.

Thank your lucky stars you're not married to him, with kids. I know you cared - still do but you had a narrow escape. You did the right thing and will save his wife further heartache in the end. She may well decide to stay with him, that's her choice but at least she knows truth now.

I feel sorry for you both. What an ass. Onwards and upwards. You'll find someone decent.

Well done OP. I know it's hard but you did the right thing and what she told you shows his character in true light. Asking her to remove social media posts of them together as he thought she was seeing someone? True gaslighting. What a horrid man. Zero respect and full on manipulation. That would make you question everything he said to you - that he says what you want to here. Lucky escape.

He's probably tried to talk her round hence asking for proof. Sadly he's good at lying to her and has no doubt tried today you've made it all up and it wasn't quite how you portrayed it.. good for you having the guts to speak up she deserves the truth. Let's just hope she's brave enough to kick his sorry ass to the kerb.

Thank you everyone for your lovely messages of support. You are all such amazing people.

You are amazing, OP! you did the very brave thing of telling his wife, instead of just letting him carry on deceiving her- not with you as you rightly ended it- but with others.

@QueenOfTheCroneAge I completely agree. You wouldn't believe the amount of people who refuse to inform the wife/girlfriend of her partner's cheating. Instead they choose to bury their heads in the sand and pretend it's nothing to do with them. 👍💕

You did a good thing by telling her. At least she knows and can protect herself.

Of course he is lying to cover his own arse. He'll probably say you threw yourself at him and you're stalking him and other lies like that.

He's a bad man and you're well rid. I feel sad for his DH married to this piece of shite.

She text saying thank you for telling her She's dealing with it.

Then text again asking when did it start. Where did we meet, what car he had.

I've answered but I feel like I'm getting involved now more than I want to. It's hurting more

Sounds like she has to unfortunately rely On you to tell her the truth because he clearly cannot be trusted.

Shes trying to cross ref what he's telling her... she will probably want to get to the point where she has heard the complete truth from his lips so all his cards on a table, when trust is destroyed the hurt party then enters on to constant soul destroying path of trying to work out what is the truth and what isn't.... I did this for 5 years till I could do it no longer and called time. In my opinion after an affair and you both decide to try and work it out...the adulterer carries on with life like nothing's happened where the other party lives through a daily routine constant analising, on edge feeling and torture of waiting/looking for signs off it happening again. Either way OP their relationship is destroyed and you have dodged a massive bullet xx

The what car was he driving etc.... groups of guys that mess around often swop cars around each other.

When my husband had his affair and we were trying to work it out for the sake of our son, I kept a diary of all the times and dates he was away with work/ went out for the evening even nipping to the shops. Then weeks down the line you can cross ref with credit cards/bank statements/phone records. Every time he left the house even to walk the dog (he did this a lot) he called the same number "Paul" in his phone which turned out to be "Lisa" You become an obsessive detective. Other friends in the same position did the same thing. It totally consumes you x

@RealEyes You are quite at liberty to tell his wife that you are ceasing contact with her now, as you need to heal. This man has caused you enough damage. I understand she needs to know as much detail as possible, but not at the expense of your mental health.

Thanks all, I didn't really think why she was asking. I felt as she didn't believe me, but now you've explained it I get why she will be asking.

She's not asked anything else, but if she does I'm going to be nice and answer but say I need to move on now.

I feel devastated today by it all but pleased I know the truth.

The pain will fade. It will just take time. Treat yourself very well. Good food, lots of sleep and general self care. Treat yourself as you would your best friend.

Keep posting here, you have allies who understand.

@QueenOfTheCroneAge I can't thank you all enough. I never expected to find such an amazing group of supportive people.

I feel I've done the right thing, but it hurts still.

Hopefully he won't come to my home

You did the right thing OP , seriously,

She's not going to see your hurt and you are hurting bless you , this may even get a bit bitter between you both , be prepared if it does just say this is as far as your going with it and block her it's up to her then to do whatever with the information you have given her. He may even try and turn this round, say you chased him wouldn't leave him alone and you threatened to tell her .. just be careful and sending hugs

I'm sure I may speak for all of us. We are glad to be here for you

If he fucking DARES to come to your home - call the police.

@summersoonplease I think that's exactly what he'll do.

I know I did what I did with a good heart. What she does with it, is up to her

I deserve better than someone like that (I say through tears)