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Relationships

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If someone you'd been dating sent you this...

367 replies

upandupandup · 11/01/2019 18:23

After a month and maybe 5 dates. What would you think?

This is in response to me asking if they wanted to carry on seeing me, as they had gone quite distant.

I DID really like you (I think you knew that!) if I’m being honest, we have a lot of banter, back and forth, but there’s no depth whatsoever in the relationship thus far and it makes me wonder if that’s just you, or if you’ve got more to say at a much deeper heartfelt level or if you’ve been holding back. To be honest I really can’t tell, but so far in our relationship I’ve been looking for a lot more from you from the mind and from the heart.

I think the sex part would always take care of itself and, if I’m being brutally honest, that’s not my main driver with a would-be life partner.

I don’t know if you’ve picked up on it, but I’m a bit of a philosopher and a deep thinker, and I’m in my happiest place when I’m talking about deep meaningful things and we’ve just not done that at all. In fact, as I said, you don’t really know me coz you’ve never taken the time to get to know me and if I’m being honest, I’ve been really quite hurt by that.

Too intense or is there an element of truth? I try to keep things light and not get overinvested so early on but this has really hurt me.

OP posts:
AtrociousCircumstance · 11/01/2019 18:41

What a pompous self-satisfied dick. Lucky escape.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 11/01/2019 18:41

Sounds like a guy I just dumped, absolute narcissist, blatantly negging and thick as shit.

sizzledrizz · 11/01/2019 18:42

He is a Complete Tosser.

RedTartanLass · 11/01/2019 18:43

RUN!!!!!!

BlueCornishPixie · 11/01/2019 18:43

I would think what a wanker! Even if you'd been dating longer he sounds like he has a very high opinion of himself. It was an effort just to read the one message.

Is it eyal from love island? Grin he was on celebs go dating and kept going on about how 'spiritual' he was, and how none of the girls were 'deep' enough for him but bought nothing to the table himself.

MiaowMix · 11/01/2019 18:43

I would just reply

Kk 🙈

Or similar. Then I'd run away fast.

TwiceMagic · 11/01/2019 18:43

He’s an arrogant arsehole OP.

It’s not you, it’s definitely him. He sounds dreadful.

I’d be really tempted to respond with something mean like, ‘well I have been pondering the limitations of correlationist ontologies but, if I’m being honest, I was worried it would go over your head.’ I wouldn’t do it (because I’m a wimp), but I’d want to.

What I’d really do is block the the arrogant fucker.

Drogosnextwife · 11/01/2019 18:44

Sounds like very hard work!

BlueCornishPixie · 11/01/2019 18:44

I tend to find people like this don't actually want a deep discussion, or a debate.

They want to be able to bore you to death with their opinions while you worship them as a big clever man for being oh so intelligent.

riotlady · 11/01/2019 18:45

Ugh he sounds so pretentious, you’re well shot I reckon

MsMightyTitanAndHerTroubadours · 11/01/2019 18:47

someone certainly tinks a good deal of himself....that's pretty much all the philosophising he has been doing all these weeks

what a twat!!

Orange6904 · 11/01/2019 18:47

He's not a deep thinker, he's just a bit pretentious and thinks he's clever. this message shows that he's not a clever guy.

Don't overanalyse it op, it was only a few dates, good luck.

bouncymonk · 11/01/2019 18:48

What does this philosopher do for a job? Smoke weed and write screenplays?

He can fuck right off.

MissWilmottsGhost · 11/01/2019 18:48

He's saying its not about the sex.

But my immediate thought is that he's saying that just to get you to shag him.

Sounds like my XP a manipulative, arrogant knobhead.

BeholdTheNewTablecloth · 11/01/2019 18:49

Well he sounds like a Kant.....Wink

LadyRochfordsFlayedGusset · 11/01/2019 18:49
Grin
Sigh81 · 11/01/2019 18:49

Anyone who says - after only 5 dates. And sober - "I'm a deep thinker" - takes themselves far too seriously. I would get rid.

Horses4 · 11/01/2019 18:50

Oh dear god. If he is based in the Lake District roughly, I know who this is. Otherwise I dated a vacuous twat of this variety who thought he was a sensitive, creative, misunderstood genius.

TwiceMagic · 11/01/2019 18:50

A reply calling him a Kant may well be fair, @BeholdTheNewTablecloth. If he’s such a philosopher he might even realise. 😆

EmmaJR1 · 11/01/2019 18:51

I'd think he was a sanctimonious prick, with an over inflated ego and I'd say goodbye!

AnyFucker · 11/01/2019 18:51

Wow, that ego is monstrous

Lucky escape

Horses4 · 11/01/2019 18:52

Mind you, I think the one I met would be too sneery to use the word ‘banter’ and ‘coz’

Aaaahfuck · 11/01/2019 18:52

They sound really full of themselves. What a twat! It's quite insulting. Like they're implying your stupid. If they like philosophical conversations so much why haven't they started any either?

Drogosnextwife · 11/01/2019 18:52

Now I need to know if this is a man or a woman OP

BlancheM · 11/01/2019 18:53

He's the neggiest neg that ever negged.
What a cringe. 'I'm surprised at that monologue, Neghead as you were coming across as a bit one-dimensional and well, boring.'
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