If someone you'd been dating sent you this...

[upandupandup]

After a month and maybe 5 dates. What would you think?

This is in response to me asking if they wanted to carry on seeing me, as they had gone quite distant.

I DID really like you (I think you knew that!) if I’m being honest, we have a lot of banter, back and forth, but there’s no depth whatsoever in the relationship thus far and it makes me wonder if that’s just you, or if you’ve got more to say at a much deeper heartfelt level or if you’ve been holding back. To be honest I really can’t tell, but so far in our relationship I’ve been looking for a lot more from you from the mind and from the heart.

I think the sex part would always take care of itself and, if I’m being brutally honest, that’s not my main driver with a would-be life partner.

I don’t know if you’ve picked up on it, but I’m a bit of a philosopher and a deep thinker, and I’m in my happiest place when I’m talking about deep meaningful things and we’ve just not done that at all. In fact, as I said, you don’t really know me coz you’ve never taken the time to get to know me and if I’m being honest, I’ve been really quite hurt by that.

Too intense or is there an element of truth? I try to keep things light and not get overinvested so early on but this has really hurt me.

What a knob. I don't like the suggestion that there's no depth and "maybe that's you" like "cos I'm really deep and you're really shallow"

What's deep to one person isnt to another and surely five dates in it should light hearted and fun? Good god, imagine him twelve months in.

Run! Run for the hills!!

I'm always wary of people who describe themselves as deep thinkers and philosophers as in my experience they often are not ( I work in academia), however if he was trying to engage you in discussion about politics and philosophy etc. and you didn't respond in kind he may feel that you don't have much in common. He hasn't phrased it in a very kind way.

What a colossal twat. I'd send back something pointedly brief in reply, e.g. "Think deeply on this: Good luck, I'm outta here 👍"

Ugh. He sounds like my narcissistic, self important, 'im better than you' ex. You are well rid. Please don't make this type of shit head make you doubt yourself

He’s basically insulting you.

Fuck Him off. 5 dates, Jesus!

I don’t know if you’ve picked up on it, but I’m a bit of a twat philosopher.

Lucky escape op!

don’t know if you’ve picked up on it, but I’m a bit of a philosopher and a deep thinker,

This would have made me laugh so hard I’d have snorted. He sounds like an absolute bellend.

I fucking hate people who describe themselves as "deep thinkers". Wtf does that even mean? How do they know what or how deeply other people are thinking?! Honestly he sounds like a self-indulgent, up-himself cockwomble and I'd bin him today.

'Philosopher' 😂

I think he sounds far too self-absorbed. In my experience, people who describe themselves to others as 'deep thinkers' are quite often the opposite; it's a form of pretentiousness. If he wanted to talk about 'deep, meaningful things' surely he could have introduced topics he considered deep and meaningful into your conversations.

This also rings 'negging' alarm bells, as it reads as though he's subtly trying to say you're too shallow for him.

It sounds as though, for whatever reason, you're not a match, so I would look to move on.

Oh god, I think I went out with this guy. Fuck but he was up himself.

Ditch now!!

Good grief. I think I’d reply with “oh good, glad it’s not me then “

be reasonable hes clearly an intellectual, and in no way pretentious i suspect many women are intimidated by his profound intellect But yeah.....as others have said waaay to much too soon.

ginandpanic

Oh my response would have to be 'jog on you self pompous delusional twat '

As my dp once said, when told a friend had gone to find himself- “What’s he looking for-a big field with a tosser in the middle of it!”

ewwwww

I get the feeling he’ll be talking at you, rather than to you

Sounds like a monumental egotist, to quote many PPs you're well rid.

Also, if you're -insert positive attribute here- then it's obvious to people, declaring it about yourself is so cringe.

Urgh I hate people like this. Lucky escape

He sounds like an absolute bellend.

That ^

I quite like the sound of him! However, I think he's rushing it, it's only been 5 dates and he could ask you questions to see if you meet his requirements, for want of a better word! OP, asides his intense text message, do you think you're a good match?

Dickwad of the highest order! Escape!

He sounds about as deep as a puddle. What does he want after a month? To be discussing the meaning of life? Sounds like a pita.

He mentions sex - what was that like?

I'd be worried about this ending up in the press, OP.