If someone you'd been dating sent you this...

[upandupandup]

After a month and maybe 5 dates. What would you think?

This is in response to me asking if they wanted to carry on seeing me, as they had gone quite distant.

I DID really like you (I think you knew that!) if I’m being honest, we have a lot of banter, back and forth, but there’s no depth whatsoever in the relationship thus far and it makes me wonder if that’s just you, or if you’ve got more to say at a much deeper heartfelt level or if you’ve been holding back. To be honest I really can’t tell, but so far in our relationship I’ve been looking for a lot more from you from the mind and from the heart.

I think the sex part would always take care of itself and, if I’m being brutally honest, that’s not my main driver with a would-be life partner.

I don’t know if you’ve picked up on it, but I’m a bit of a philosopher and a deep thinker, and I’m in my happiest place when I’m talking about deep meaningful things and we’ve just not done that at all. In fact, as I said, you don’t really know me coz you’ve never taken the time to get to know me and if I’m being honest, I’ve been really quite hurt by that.

Too intense or is there an element of truth? I try to keep things light and not get overinvested so early on but this has really hurt me.

He's a tosser to speak like this. There are people who are more intellectual or intense than others. All he needed to do was recognise that you are both not on the same wave length and move on
I've dated men who I don't think will be 'stimulating' long term so enjoy the moment and move on

*Makes me wonder if all these munsnetters feel threatened by a man who wants a woman that can talk about more than babies...
*
Um, have you actually seen most MN discussions? Genuine question.

He's a nutter, intelligent people don't talk like this. I've met incredibly intelligent people and they are very normal people, yes, they have interests but they are intelligent enough to know that their interests aren't necessarily everyone elses. Just ignore this guy - he will never be satisfied. I don't have any in depth conversations like the sort he is seeking this early on in any relationship. In fact, these types of conversations are usually had with friends you see in very small doses, not someone you want to build a life with anyway.

RUN!!!

If you have to say you're deep, you're not. Who says that about themselves anyways? Good riddance.

Yes, that's it. We all struggle to be in relationships because we think about babies all the time and just can't keep up with the intellectual thoughts of the menz. How has no one figured this out before now!!!

Op should think about this seriously before she lets her philosopher go - op have you been thinking about babies every time you've seen him? Have you been boring him by talking about hypothetical babies all the time?

The ecstasy has fucked his head up !!... does he have a decent job ? He sounds deranged !!

He sounds like a right cock

Good god, he sounds like a dick

Sooooo many excellent sarcastic replies, I don't think I could just block him and NOT send one.

He's a patronising, pretentious fuckwit of the highest order & he may be a 'deep thinker' - but only about himself.

Don't run for the hills - skip merrily towards them whilst humming your favourite song as you're well-rid of this loser.

"Hahahahaha ha! Byeeeeeeeee Phillipe"
Would be my actual reply!
Wouldn't dignify his manblings with a longer response. WTF were you doing not dumping his arse first????

"I think you're right I don't know you. I would never have mistaken you for a deep thinker in a million years."

that one is my favourite!

I would reply with "Ha nope sorry missed your deep philosopher side. It was well hidden while you were drunk, open mouthed in front of the telly".

God what a prat.

Re mumsnetters being threatened by a man wanting a woman who talks about more than babies.

Are you for real?

Lots of posters don't even have kids (me included). And when a woman posts about people dropping her because she talks about her kids or has just had one, the majority response is "Yeah, stop talking about it. No one cars about your kid. It's yours not theirs".

Where is anything in the OPs post to suggest he is bored of her talking "about babies"?

You aren't above "mumsnetters" any more than this geezer is

Is he on drugs?
(Oh yes - he is)😳

Run like the wind.

A philosopher and a deep thinker. Writes coz. It’s all wrong.

I’d respond “oh I’m so glad you brought this up. I honestly feel that I’m just not intelligent enough for someone as deep and philosophical as you. I feel you really need to be with a Professor of 90’s dance music or the like. I’m more of a Rick Astley kind of girl. Best wishes to you and by the way the sex never “sorts itself out” if it’s as lacklustre as you were. Maybe best work on that whilst developing your supreme philosophical thinking skills” then block

coffee most people replying with “advice” are joking because what this guy said is pretty silly. A lot, not all (just like not all men), of women are perfectly capable of a meaningful relationship and conversation, if you knew anything about women you’d realise. I once had a guy finish with me quoting a Robbie Williams song (I’ve got too much blood running through my veins to go to waste..). That came across a bit silly and pathetic too. A simple “I don’t think we’re quite right” suffices, no frills or hidden insults needed.. That’s the point.

Cogito, ergo sum... running for the hills.

He sounds like one of those men who fancy themselves as intellectuals but actually aren't that bright.
Did he ever use the word 'sapiosexual'? That's usually shorthand for 'I want a woman to gaze at me starry-eyed and tell me how clever I am'.
OP, I wouldn't even bother to respond to that tbh. It's rude and condescending at best. A man who'd send something like that isn't worth keeping imo.

He would be exhausting! An analytical discussion would be needed about every event e.g. shall we have tea or coffee.
He would expect a lot of attention and sulk if he didn't get it.

The more I think about this guy the more I don't understand him (I know I'm giving it too much headspace). He said sex isn't important but when I asked what his intentions were, he said to 'fuck and fuck and fuck'. He also took days to respond to messages so I presumed we were keeping things casual as it's early days. One of the days I saw him I was ill with laryngitis and couldn't speak - maybe that's the day he tried to start the philosophical conversation!

What an absolute douche bag! Hilarious. Thanks for sharing OP and congratulations on your lucky escape

I’d reply “as such a deep thinker it’s a shame you didn’t think a bit deeper before sending such a pompous, patronising, self satisfied text. You are quite clearly a knob. So bye bye!”