If someone you'd been dating sent you this...

[upandupandup]

After a month and maybe 5 dates. What would you think?

This is in response to me asking if they wanted to carry on seeing me, as they had gone quite distant.

I DID really like you (I think you knew that!) if I’m being honest, we have a lot of banter, back and forth, but there’s no depth whatsoever in the relationship thus far and it makes me wonder if that’s just you, or if you’ve got more to say at a much deeper heartfelt level or if you’ve been holding back. To be honest I really can’t tell, but so far in our relationship I’ve been looking for a lot more from you from the mind and from the heart.

I think the sex part would always take care of itself and, if I’m being brutally honest, that’s not my main driver with a would-be life partner.

I don’t know if you’ve picked up on it, but I’m a bit of a philosopher and a deep thinker, and I’m in my happiest place when I’m talking about deep meaningful things and we’ve just not done that at all. In fact, as I said, you don’t really know me coz you’ve never taken the time to get to know me and if I’m being honest, I’ve been really quite hurt by that.

Too intense or is there an element of truth? I try to keep things light and not get overinvested so early on but this has really hurt me.

Philosophers don't use the word 'coz'

Yes

Crikey he sounds like a right nutter far too intense, run a mile!

Run. Fast.

I'm just not that into you. That's all that's ever needed!

He sounds like a pompous arse. People who think they are a 'bit of a philosopher' seldom have any opinions worth hearing, they're usually just a bit up themselves. Dump and move on.

I would reply "😂😂😂😂 so glad you said that coz I was thinking you are a tedious navel gazer but didn't know how to bring it up! Have a nice life 😘"

Was Kant a bit shit then?

Sounds like you'd be well rid of the Kant

I would laugh and laugh to receive a message like that. And then promptly block him

I thought of Eyal too!

Deep and meaningful people don’t need to tell you they’re deep and meaningful.

Same goes for spiritual people.

Same goes for clever people

Don't waste any more head space on the emotionally stunted passive aggressive prat!
He's an ignoramus(as my gran would say!)
Don't even bother replying...just block him!
You deserve better that listening to his drivel!

“I Kant believe you would talk to me like that. Your tastes are more Nietzsche than I thought. I had hoped you would have a Thoreau appreciation of my position, but it appears you have no clue, and don’t even get me Sartred on your approach to life. You may think you’re some sort of Engel, but you are clearly suffering from Deleuzions of grandeur.”

bow
exit stage left, flouncing

I've read it several times now, and each time it gets worse. He obviously has a fixed notion of what he wants out of a relationship (ie hero worship), and some sort of mental image of how his woman needs to be in order to complete his odious whole.

He's telling you that at first he thought you were ideal, but now he's got to know you a bit better, you might not be good enough after all.
He's telling you that he expects you to bend over backwards to change yourself into the sort of female he wants you to be - while simultaneously telling you that maybe you aren't capable of doing that. Because if you were, then you would have already been sucked in and awestruck by his brilliance.
He's telling you that you have already insulted and upset him by not doing enough to get to know him, and that you are either deeply shallow or not bright enough to understand him.

All of that is an attempt to make you feel bad about yourself, and to make you want to show him that you are the person he thought you were.

If this is what it's like after 5 dates, imagine what it would be like after 5 years.

Just dump the self-absorbed twat.

He's an arrogant tosser. When he wants to put you in your place he'll say things like 'you're not mentally stimulating enough for me'. He wants you to entertain him constantly while he does sweet fuck all for relationship. Tell him to fuck off and he's not a philosopher, he's a bullshitter.

Most people would just end a relationship they didn't see going the way they want it to, rather than send such a condescending text message. I hope you are ok op, that must have been upsetting. Just don't reply, and consider it a lucky escape. Imagine spending time with someone who would write a message like that.

Ugh
You dodged a Narc bullet I reckon

Run like the wind

He sounds like he thinks he's v important and can't see why anyone would hold themselves back. Annoying dickhead on the long ru

oh well best move on

Don't just think it, text it.

Then buy yourself some flowers and a bottle of wine to celebrate your lucky escape.

Five dates? Time to say goodbye, as others have said he sounds too much hard work and abit full of himself.

"I think you're right I don't know you. I would never have mistaken you for a deep thinker in a million years."

Oh bore off @Coffeeat12 the twat thought dating meant getting pissed in front of the telly. Deeeeeep, man