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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Great first date but I've not heard from him since

153 replies

lostindreams · 09/01/2019 21:29

Met up on Saturday. Thought it would just be a quick coffee in the afternoon but we stayed out for 7 hours and had dinner. He had vague plans with his friends that evening but stayed out with me instead. No kiss at the end of the night but I did send him a message after saying I had a great time and we should do it again soon. He replied straightaway agreeing but now nothing! There was definitely chemistry.

Why stay out so long with someone if you're not that bothered?! Some of my friends think I should just text him but I feel like I've made it obvious I'm keen already.

OP posts:
Reflexella · 09/01/2019 21:33

What have you got to lose with one breezy text?

Coffeeat12 · 09/01/2019 21:36

Send the text.

MrsFL · 09/01/2019 21:40

He’s maybe thinking the same?

That you text & he replied but now has heard nothing more??

What’s to lose?

(Disclaimer, no dating recent dating experience or history of expertise Grin)

Fooferella · 09/01/2019 21:43

One text to him to suggest meeting up again. If you get nothing back then move on, he's either not that into you or something else has happened in his life that has taken precedence.

userxx · 09/01/2019 21:49

No kiss after spending 7 hours with him....... did you want to kiss him?

blinkerss · 09/01/2019 21:52

What's to say he isn't thinking the exact same? Just send the text....you've got nothing to lose. If you get no reply then at least you know it's a non starter. Good luck. And be casual in the text

Original poster
lostindreams · 09/01/2019 21:55

No kiss after spending 7 hours with him....... did you want to kiss him?

I did but we were both stone cold sober as I'm not drinking at the moment and I just assumed we'd save that for the next date.

So everyone's saying text him! Interesting. It's just that I kind of feel like men always get in touch if they're keen.

OP posts:
Hezz · 09/01/2019 21:57

"Hi, I enjoyed Saturday. Hope you did too? X"

Reflexella · 09/01/2019 21:57

Well if he doesn’t reply, you can move on knowing you gave it your best shot.

Oopsy41 · 09/01/2019 21:58

I personally wouldn't text him, you did that afterwards so he already knows what you think, I think if he wants to text you then he will

MargotsFlounceyBlouse · 09/01/2019 22:00

Let it go. It sounds like he did have a great night out but not thinking of you as a romantic partner. I wouldn't text tbh at this point.

Original poster
lostindreams · 09/01/2019 22:00

That's what I think. Also I'm the one who asked him out on this date. It's not that I'm shy about asking men out or initiating but I think I've done my bit already.

OP posts:
NataliaOsipova · 09/01/2019 22:01

I agree. One text is worth a shot. Maybe suggest something specific - eg “I fancy seeing x film/going to y restaurant - would you like to join me?”

Equalityumber · 09/01/2019 22:04

Yeah I would let this one go to be honest. If he was genuinely interested he would be in touch, not sit waiting for you.

pineapplebryanbrown · 09/01/2019 22:07

Don't text, you already told him you enjoyed it and want to do it again. It's up to him now.

GroovieGazelloo · 09/01/2019 22:07

I wouldn't text. It sounds like you've already made your position clear. If he didn't start to make some moves towards me, then I'd be uncomfortable about being in the position of having to constantly initiate.

bluebell34567 · 09/01/2019 22:20

you invited him to the date.
you told him you enjoyed the date and would like to repeat it again.
you made your position very clear, if he didnt understand it he must be very stupid.
dont text him anymore, keep your dignity, move on.

LemonTT · 09/01/2019 22:33

I think you have done enough. I would say the ball is in his court. I would also say that if he wanted to see you he should get in touch before COP Wednesday if you are under the age of 35. That's when weekend plans are made. If he wanted to see you again you should be the priority for the weekend. For about the first half dozen dates anyway.

SuperSuperSuper · 09/01/2019 22:36

He didn't meet his mates as planned and he replied straight away when you text to say you had a good time. That's really promising! I'm surprised he hasn't suggested meeeting again. I think that sending him a text couldn't hurt. Just one more try, though - if he's silent or noncommittal, forget him.

ChrisjenAvasarala · 09/01/2019 22:42

Did you give him a reason for your not drinking? He might think you're pregnant so was polite, but won't take it any further. I wasn't drinking (because I just can't deal with the headache the next day anymore) but a couple months after out first date, the guy eventually admitted he thought it meant I could be pregnant so was worried about getting involved!

BlancheM · 09/01/2019 22:42

You think you've done your bit and that's it? Well are you fussed or are you not? He texted you last, yes? He's waiting to hear from you.

HollowTalk · 09/01/2019 22:47

How much more does she have to do, Blanche? She asked him out and she texted afterwards (before he did) to say she enjoyed it. Let's leave him something to do, eh?

userxx · 09/01/2019 22:48

Wow impressive, no drinking whilst on a 7 hour date. I'm clearly a lush 😈. I'd send one last text, what have you got to lose.

BlueCornishPixie · 09/01/2019 22:49

At the end of the day if you do nothing nothing will happen

If you text him, he might reply, maybe hes shy or waiting for you to respond? He might not but then you're only back in the first position. You can't lose anything by texting him

MyNewBearTotoro · 09/01/2019 22:52

You sent a text, he replied ... did you then text him back again? If not I’d say the balls in your court and he’s probably wondering why you said you were keen to meet up again but didn’t send another text in response to his.

If you enjoyed the date and want to see him again you’ve nothing to lose by texting him. I don’t understand not texting him because you’ve ‘done your bit,’ if you’d actually like to see him again why wouldn’t you try and instigate that?