Great first date but I've not heard from him since

[lostindreams]

Met up on Saturday. Thought it would just be a quick coffee in the afternoon but we stayed out for 7 hours and had dinner. He had vague plans with his friends that evening but stayed out with me instead. No kiss at the end of the night but I did send him a message after saying I had a great time and we should do it again soon. He replied straightaway agreeing but now nothing! There was definitely chemistry.

Why stay out so long with someone if you're not that bothered?! Some of my friends think I should just text him but I feel like I've made it obvious I'm keen already.

BlancheM - literally the last text in our chat was from me!

userxx - it actually started quite early in the afternoon

And ChrisjenAvasarala that's quite a jump! I had a drunken NYE so decided to cool it for a while with the drinking, which I told him.

He did tell me he had a busy week and also might be away this weekend so could hear from him after I guess? Still doesn't take much time at all just to send a text and keep the momentum going.

MyNewBearTotoro (love your username!) - we had a bit of banter after my initial text to say I had a great evening and then wished each other goodnight.

Don't text. He knows you're interested. I know it's neanderthal but I think men really do need to do a bit of chasing. Run away as fast as you can until you catch him.

I don't think he did have plans with his friends, sounds like his easy get out card if he wasn't enjoying himself unfortunately.
I say bloody text him, he obviously enjoyed himself. Text him now!!!!

Lost I must've misread- I thought you said you'd texted and he replied straightaway. In that case, he might be wary of 'double texting'. Wouldn't want to look beggy or desperate and would prefer a back-and-forth conversation.

I’m on team text. And something specific so you Know where you stand. Eg would you like to see xyz Film next week?, or are you free next weekend to go out?
If you don’t text you’re just going to spend the next week going over it in your head. If you do text it might result in another date or it might not, but at least you’ll have a resolution.

Yes, send a text, what have you got to lose?

He's probably not texted because he's too busy to make plans just now. I would text with a 'how's your week going?' And maybe start chatting and see how it goes.

He’s just not that into you. He might circle back around sometime if he’s a bit bored. Any man who’s truly into a woman he goes out with won’t be hanging around for days afterwards not getting in touch and risking someone else whisking you off, they’ll be wanting to speak to you and continue getting to know you/excited to be near you again.

Not surprising at all he’d stay for seven hours if he wasn’t into you, lots of people just enjoy being out socialising and having a laugh, don’t fancy going back home on their own, enjoy your company as a friend, feel too rude to end the date, many reasons and only one of the myriad is ‘really fancy this person’! So don’t try think yourself into figuring out a way this means he likes you, just crack on meeting others :)

I’m on team don’t text.
He knows you like him. He’s not stupid and can hear clearly.
You need to know if he fancies you at this stage. Him making the effort to contact you is the start.

Im on dont text aswell, how much running can you do!

What is all this rubbish about men having to chase? Seriously? We have to be potential nuisances now? Text him or call him. Tell him you enjoyed his company and that if he is ok with it you would like to see him again.

Jesus.

She.already.did.that.
How many times do you suggest she tries?

Don’t text. If a guy wants something, he’ll move the earth to get it.

Moredoll modern men are highly trained NOT to chase, and no means no, and all that stuff.

Sure, if you want to catch a neanderthal, run. But if he's actually a nice fella, he won't chase.

Send one more text, if he doesn’t reply to that then just leave it.

I think you should make one last attempt to make contact. I would suggest a phone call, but maybe text first to ask if he fancies as chat? I just think that game playing is so unnecessary, but it's easy to get sucked in to (him as well as you). At this point, I think an attempt to make contact will make things clearer for you either way. If you'd prefer to text rather than speak, maybe just a "hey, how is your week?" would do. If he replies then the conversation can continue. If he doesn't, then you know where you stand.

Just text. What do you have to lose? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Hmm I'm on the fence with this one, but edging toward " send a text ' you'll know either way won't you?

SpoonBlender
If he is actually a nice fellow he won't chase.

Why so?

Don't think I've seen this yet, but maybe the reason the first date went on so long was because he thought he was onto a good thing which was leading to more wiggles eyebrows... I know ppl like that, who would try it out on a first date if things were going particularly well.

'Hi, how's your week going?' seems the best text option. Gives him the opportunity to ask if you want to do something when he's back/less busy. If he doesn't mention anything, he's prob not that interested.

if OP texts, it will set a tiresome pattern where he'll relax and expect her to take the lead - because she's already initiated twice.

OP just try to trelax, I think he's taking a few days 'off' due to him being busy and possibly away as he said. Some men are like this - after an intense long date, they take a bit of a breather and then start initiating if they are interested. Unless you enjoy always taking charge (nothing wrong with that btw), then let it be a few more days and see if he wants to share initiative.

I think a hey how's your week would be a good text. I wouldn't do any more than that.

If he's the type that expects you to do everything, I wouldn't be interested at all. A guy has got to show some motivation in taking the lead.

Dated a few like that and it was like trying to pry open a stuck bottle just to get them to do anything. Yuck.

Setting patterns, taking charge, sharing initiatives....? Why does everything have to have significance? A text is a text. It's no big deal. It's not a game of chess where you have to play it right or your opponent has the upper hand!
If OP texts him and gets a lukewarm response, then she'll know to just sack it off. She's considering doing that anyway so the only other outcome is that he'll reply with something solid re a second date.

I’m with the PP who said he’s just not that into you. If a bloke wants to see you again, he won’t wait 4 days to get in touch.

I also agree with same PP that he might resurface again when he’s a bit bored. Be on the alert for this.