Great first date but I've not heard from him since

[lostindreams]

Met up on Saturday. Thought it would just be a quick coffee in the afternoon but we stayed out for 7 hours and had dinner. He had vague plans with his friends that evening but stayed out with me instead. No kiss at the end of the night but I did send him a message after saying I had a great time and we should do it again soon. He replied straightaway agreeing but now nothing! There was definitely chemistry.

Why stay out so long with someone if you're not that bothered?! Some of my friends think I should just text him but I feel like I've made it obvious I'm keen already.

Don't text. His fingers work as well as yours do. If someone is unable or unwilling to make the next move what is the point in doing it for them.

NekoShiro

I think the point people are making is that she asked him out; she arranged the date; she messaged first after the date; he replied but it sounds like she texted him again because she said that she was the last one to text him...

No one is suggesting 'game playing' but as she has made all of the effort so far, I don't think there is anything wrong in sitting back and seeing what he does next.

Game playing would be not texting because he's the man and men should do the chasing. All she actually wants to do is ascertain whether or not he's interested by wanting him to make a bit of effort. I also think that, by the 5th day after the date, I'd also want to think I was on someone's mind enough for them to contact me. Otherwise - what's the point!

IME, men will text if they’re interested. I’ve never dated a guy that, if he liked me, was too worried about who sent the last text, how many hours it had been etc

Next time OP, do not spend hours with someone on a first date. Men can dilly daddle around like that, knowing it's not going to go anywhere further.

First dates should be 1-2 hours long.

Don't text! Keep yourself busy, go on other dates, if he wants to see you again he will make it happen!!

Do not text. Yet. If he wants to he will.

Leave it a week or more to make it actually look breezy.

I may have missed something here but I don't see why you haven't text him.
You went out and both seemed to enjoy yourselves (but don't assume just because you felt chemistry he did too.).
You text to say thanks for a nice eve we should do it again. He replied, agreeing. At that point I would've responded with great, enjoy the rest of your weekend, drop me a message to let me know when you're free and we'll go from there.
You don't hear from him again then you know he was just being polite. If he was interested I wouldve expected a follow up text from him along the lines of...Hiya, so how's things . I'm free X,y or z how about
As I said unless I've missed something. He responded and you haven't text him since. If I was him I wouldn't be messaging again.

You have missed a bit as op said she sent the last message.

This happened to me. Great date, I thought. Out for hours. He kissed me. More than once. Chemistry. Said we must do it again. Heard nothing for two days. I sent a breezy text.

Radio silence.

Honestly. People are weird.

Or we could have dated the same bloke and he's a serial ghoster

The lesson I took away was that he would have text and sorted out a date if he wanted to. And I felt twatty for reaching out. I won't do it again.

He could just be busy if he had a busy week and away at rhe weekend, leave it now. You will just look desperate. If he's interested he will let you know.

Jesus!

Look just give me his number and I’ll text him for you.

Bloody hell just text him! What on earth is the point of playing games. You'll soon know one way or the other.

Just text him! All this 'you texted first, he texted last' nonsense. He could be having the exact same conversation with his mates! Text him, ask him out, if he says no you know where you stand

"If a guy is treating you like he doesn't give a shit, he genuinely doesn't give a shit. No exceptions."

He isn't treating her like anything, Mandela. OP is still deliberating whether to send him a paltry text. There's been one date. There's nothing to analyse.
I can see how bombarding someone with texts is undignified and desperate, but not one simple message. I'm surprised she hasn't been given phone call advice, 'if he calls, make sure you let it ring 5 times, don't want to look too available!' what a way to live.

Are any of the people advising the OP to text actually dating right now?!

@Notcoolmum yep 🙋🏼‍♀️

If I want an answer to something I ask. Never gave a monkeys who text first or how long it'd been since the last one.

Oh god. Why all the fuss? If you want to text him then text him! At least you'll know One way or the other

Be yourself. Listen to eggsandwich who has given the best advice yet. If he is a weirdo you will find out. Why play games? This surely leads a pattern for the rest of the relationship. If I like someone I tell them and if they are a hard work game player they go all quiet and I know to walk away. Currently completely in love with someone who 'isn't sure' - but I am and have told them so either they come around to my way of thinking or can fuck off

But the Op can’t know what’s he’s thinking. If he’s got other stuff going on at work, maybe a date with some else or literally anything then texting him is not only pointless but annoying.

What is the actual POINT of texting him? If he wants a second date he’ll ask for one.
He knows she likes him. But even if she didn’t make it 100% crystal clear, if he wanted a second date...he would ask for one.

So what’s the point of texting him? Badgering him won’t change how he feels.

Blanche - you are repeating my point. He is acting like he doesn't give a shit about seeing her. Which probably means that he is not that bothered. Otherwise he would either get in touch or least pick up on her offer when she suggested doing somethings again.

Of course the OP can text again. Nobody will die. Thing is, he is very unlikely to give her a firm "i am not interested really" but will rather keep her as an option. And the OP will keep thinking and investing herself.
Too much effort.

Hey hun, there are lots of mixed opinons etc. But what I will say from my experience with dating at the moment - I recently went on a lovely first date with a guy, we didn't have a kiss at the end. However at the end of the date even before we left he asked me if I'd see him again. He also text me after the date saying how he had a great time and was looking forward to seeing me again. He has also messaged me again all week (not constant messaging but I hear from him every day) and has already booked in a date for tomorrow - and mentioned throughout the week to check I was available. THAT is the type of effort I have been looking for.

There are guys who will make effort with you, but there are a lot more who won't. Of course you can send a text to him and see if he wants to meet up again, but in my opinion 'no response is a response.' He can easily reach out to you as you can to him. If neither of you have done for this long, I would personally leave it.

However, if you are really interested and this is weighing on your mind a lot then I'd just drop him a 'Hey, how has your week been?' and see if you get chatting again, but if he's cold or quiet or unresponsive you have your answer.

It's one text after one date not a marriage proposal 😳

Oh well if you sent the last message by responding to his yes I'd like to meet again one then I wouldn't bother contacting him again. If he was that interested he would have made arrangements for date 2 by now.
Write it up to experience and leave it there.
I've been dating for a couple of moñhs and I'm pretty upfront about things. So if someone asks me for a 2nd date and I'm not feeling it then I politely say thanks but no thanks I don't think there was any spark. Some thank me for my honesty, some get arse and make me wish I hadn't bothered replying.
Some people just don't know how to let others down gently so instead they go quiet, his problem not yours huni.