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Original poster

Am I in the wrong?

169 replies

LauraS92 · 04/01/2019 18:13

Hello I am new to this forum and need to vent and ask some advice please
My names laura and Im a mother of one and expecting my second next month
I don’t know if it’s my
Hormones or I’m having a rational feeling of guilt. I met my boyfriend a year ago and we never used anything and I got pregnant ( my other child is diff father) my boyfriend had a fling with another woman and got her pregnant too, ( before he met
Me) he didn’t see the child and to be honest I didn’t want him to am I a horrible person? He has been very hands on with my child and he is now happy we are about to have our first child together but I can’t help wondering if he didn’t want anything to do with the other child will he do the same to me?
He didn’t have any relationship with the other woman and he said he didn’t like her at all just that she was a “pass around f*ck” between him and his friends. He went to her birth and saw her a few times but then stopped, I told him not to talk about her around me and that she wasn’t welcome around my house. Am I a bad person? Will this come back on me ? I just couldn’t stand it that he had a child with someone else and I don’t now why
He loves and adores me and my daughter and does everything for us the only thing he does for his own child is pay support because the other woman went through the proper
Authorities to get regular payment. I’m now worried if we ever split up he will abandon our child too but would he do that seeing as he loves me? And he will be more involved with our child ?

OP posts:
Offside · 04/01/2019 18:18

Well he sounds charming 🙄

How would you feel if he did do the same to you and his new partner told him he wasn’t to have a relationship with/talk about your baby? I think you need to grow up and he needs to accept responsibility for his actions.

You sound very young OP to have this attitude.

Offside · 04/01/2019 18:19

I’d also suggest reporting your post so MNHQ can remove your real name.

Ciggarettesuffragettesandboys · 04/01/2019 18:23

He sounds too horrible for words. Why on earth would you want a man who describes the mother of his child as a pass around fuck in your life? Or your daughters? How would you feel if a man described your daughter as a pass around fuck when she’s older? And if another woman treated her the way you’re treating this woman?

Your priorities are all wrong. I would be more concerned about your attitude and needyneas towards this situation than whether he will leave you or not (which he may well do). I feel for your daughter.

tinydancer88 · 04/01/2019 18:23

I think the way he has treated that child is disgraceful, as is referring to someone as a 'pass around fuck'. I wouldn't want to have a child with a man like that and it would make me apprehensive about how he might behave if we broke up.

Original poster
LauraS92 · 04/01/2019 18:23

Sorry?

OP posts:
Original poster
LauraS92 · 04/01/2019 18:24

@Offside what do you mean reportthe post?

OP posts:
Me33 · 04/01/2019 18:27

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at OP's request.

NotTheFordType · 04/01/2019 18:27

I’m now worried if we ever split up he will abandon our child too but would he do that seeing as he loves me?

What makes you think he's not telling other women that you are a pass around fuck?

I told him not to talk about her around me and that she wasn’t welcome around my house. Am I a bad person?

Well you're not exactly standing up for the sisters, are you.

My grandma had a saying, "If you lie down with dogs, you get fleas." My saying is "Cunts of a feather flock together."
Whichever you prefer, you're allowing a complete fucking repulsive bellend unrestricted access to your DC.

baubled · 04/01/2019 18:27

Sorry but I think you're both disgraceful, she's never welcome in your house?

Of course he could do the same to you, he's showing you what he's capable of! How would you feel if you split and his new DP said your baby wasn't welcome.

jessstan2 · 04/01/2019 18:28

He sounds appalling, never mind careless. To be honest, you don't sound a lot better. You're a mother for goodness sake and so is the other woman with whom he has a child, there should be some sympathy there. Talking about the mother of his child in that way is disgusting, she's a human being. I hope he contributes financially at least.

If you were not about to give birth to his child I'd say run a mile but can see you can't. You're lumbered girl.

I wonder how old you are, you sound like a teenager or not much more.

NotTheFordType · 04/01/2019 18:29

You're 26 right? I mean how did you get to this age and not realise this bloke is abhorrent?

AnyFucker · 04/01/2019 18:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
LauraS92 · 04/01/2019 18:30

Wow 😮 you ladies are very harsh
He really isn’t a bad person though and his mom really wanted a grandchild and the ow stopped his mom seeing there child because of him not seeing her how is that fair?
His mom is really excited about our baby and we are very close now, my bf absolutely adores me and didn’t feel anything for the other girl so why does that make me the bad person? It’s his own fault he didn’t want to see his other child. He’s been a great dad to my other child and he’s really keen for us to have this baby together do you really think he will do it to me? He actually really pursued me when we first
Met as I didn’t want to date him at first do you think he stopped seeing his daughter for me?

OP posts:
Surfskatefamily · 04/01/2019 18:30

Yes that is horrible. I can understand why you feel that way but it is wrong.
That child is your childs sibling

Original poster
LauraS92 · 04/01/2019 18:32

Why would he not want to his other child and then have one with me if he didn’t want to be with me though?

OP posts:
baubled · 04/01/2019 18:34

We're harsh? Have you heard yourself? You actively don't want a child to see it's dad because you're jealous.

MrMeSeeks · 04/01/2019 18:37

You’re both awful.
He is not great in anyway and i don't know how you cant see this.
He describes the moc appalling and has nothing to do with his child, but ‘is a great guy’Hmm
You refuse to have her or the child in the house?
In the future both of these this kids will know this.
Yes, he may do the same to you, you’ll never know.

Ciggarettesuffragettesandboys · 04/01/2019 18:37

Everyone who has posted is talking sense except you. It doesn’t sound like you are going to listen to any of it and just want validation that this man must love you so much because he left his child for you - well congratulations haven’t you just won at life.

Oh and just to add he really is a bad person. You can’t go round passing women round as fucks, getting them pregnant and leaving them to deal with it and claim to not be a bad person. You don’t sound great yourself.

tinydancer88 · 04/01/2019 18:37

Wanting to see his child shouldn't be linked to whether he wants to be in a relationship with their mother or not. That's not putting the child first. He's set a precedent that if his feelings for the mother change, he doesn't bother with the child either, and that should be a massive red flag.

IwantedtobeEmmaPeel · 04/01/2019 18:40

I met my boyfriend a year ago and we never used anything and I got pregnant. Hmm Well there's a surprise.

You and your BF sound real charmers and typical Jeremy Kyle fodder.

Original poster
LauraS92 · 04/01/2019 18:40

I don’t feel like that anymore though I think at first it was jealousy and I don’t know why as I have a child myself who has a different father I wouldn’t mind now but he doesn’t want to so I think he doesn’t want to because of me
Am I a fool ? Should I leave him so he can see his child? I really don’t think he will do it to me as people also say he is punching above being with me I now looks don’t matter it’s other people who say that.
I’m worried the stresses of a new baby will
Put strain on us and I’m worried he will do the same to me how can I put it right now

OP posts:
nersaj · 04/01/2019 18:46

Can't believe what I'm reading! Blush I'd never start a family without someone who can't even be a father to his current children for one. Never mind someone who talks about the mother of his child like that! How mortifying.

Bombardier25966 · 04/01/2019 18:49

people also say he is punching above being with me

More likely they're not talking about your looks, they're talking about him being a prize dickhead.

Obsidian77 · 04/01/2019 18:50

If he got her pregnant before he even met you then she's not the OW
His behaviour in general sounds completely vile.
If that's how he treats someone who has given birth to his child then you should see this as a massive red flag.
Who do you have in your life that can support you?

nersaj · 04/01/2019 18:51

With* someone, that should read!