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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I in the wrong?

169 replies

LauraS92 · 04/01/2019 18:13

Hello I am new to this forum and need to vent and ask some advice please
My names laura and Im a mother of one and expecting my second next month
I don’t know if it’s my
Hormones or I’m having a rational feeling of guilt. I met my boyfriend a year ago and we never used anything and I got pregnant ( my other child is diff father) my boyfriend had a fling with another woman and got her pregnant too, ( before he met
Me) he didn’t see the child and to be honest I didn’t want him to am I a horrible person? He has been very hands on with my child and he is now happy we are about to have our first child together but I can’t help wondering if he didn’t want anything to do with the other child will he do the same to me?
He didn’t have any relationship with the other woman and he said he didn’t like her at all just that she was a “pass around f*ck” between him and his friends. He went to her birth and saw her a few times but then stopped, I told him not to talk about her around me and that she wasn’t welcome around my house. Am I a bad person? Will this come back on me ? I just couldn’t stand it that he had a child with someone else and I don’t now why
He loves and adores me and my daughter and does everything for us the only thing he does for his own child is pay support because the other woman went through the proper
Authorities to get regular payment. I’m now worried if we ever split up he will abandon our child too but would he do that seeing as he loves me? And he will be more involved with our child ?

OP posts:
InkyAndBinky · 04/01/2019 21:36

.

Snappedandfarted2019 · 04/01/2019 21:37

God you think you’re gods gift the way you on he’s pushing above his weight his brother is in love with you etc get a grip

Nanny0gg · 04/01/2019 21:37

@AnyFucker
Be careful you don't overegg it Laura

Too late...

Tiredmum100 · 04/01/2019 21:39

No this can't be real.

Deadsouls · 04/01/2019 21:41

Not read the entire thread, just the OP...but surely this can't be real? Why would you want to be with a man like that?

Youbrokemytwatometer · 04/01/2019 21:44

So your daughters dad has abandoned her and treated her appallingly, you then let some random guy babysit her, then you shack up and start a family with him knowing he has done the EXACT same thing to his kid as your ex did to your daughter??

You can't be serious.

Deadsouls · 04/01/2019 21:45

Jesus, this man surely isn't worth all this, he's not your higher power you know, though you are indeed giving him all the power.

ImTakingTheEssence · 04/01/2019 21:47

Yes laura keep getting pregnant that will keep him commited Hmm

MissLanesAmericanCousin · 04/01/2019 21:53

I just wanted to say you really disgust me, OP. You are shallow, vindictive, petty, jealous, hypocritical, uncompassionate and one of the least self aware humans I have ever had the displeasure of reading about on MN. Congratulations. If you remember anything, remember this; your actions will come back to haunt you one day. Good luck.

SlightlyMisplacedSingleDad · 04/01/2019 21:55

Jesus wept.

He's scum. And here's the truth - you're no better. Your poor kids, with such terrible parents. Set him to one side - here is what you need to understand about your own role here:

  1. A good mother would NEVER consider having a child with a man who has such a terrible view of women. Your daughter will learn about how she should be treated in life from the two of you. You're teaching her that, as a woman, she is worthless. Worth nothing more than being a 'pass around fuck'.
  1. A good mother would NEVER keep her child from knowing a sibling, purely because of the mother's insecurities. You are hurting your own kid, by preventing her from having a relationship with her sibling. Way to put your own pettiness ahead of your kid's wellbeing.
  1. A good mother would NEVER accept a position where the support that her partner should be giving to his kid gets blown on her hair and nails instead. Kids come first. It's not complicated. Decent people make sacrifices FOR kids. They don't sacrifice kids for themselves.
  1. A good mother does not go around randomly getting pregnant with someone she barely knows, out of jealousy and insecurity. She makes sure she is in a position to provide a baby with a proper life first. She prepares. She doesnt have a kid she can't afford. She doesn't go on having kids with someone unreliable. Kids aren't fashion accessories. A good mum engages her brain, and makes proper grown-up decisions.

You need to take a long, hard look in the mirror. And yes - that pathetic excuse for a man you chose to procreate with is definitely going to fuck off in the future, and leave you in the lurch. And he will probably meet another overgrown toddler just like you, who is incapable of putting kids first. And he will drop you and your daughter just as quickly as he dropped his last kid. And then you'll probably spend your time moaning about how awful men are, rather than taking responsibility for getting yourself into this situation, and putting another woman and her child into a terrible position.

You need to grow up a lot. Fast. Otherwise, your poor kid is fucked.

Tiredmum100 · 04/01/2019 21:58

@MissLanesAmericanCousin 100% agree with what you said.

Maelstrop · 04/01/2019 22:00

You are fucking disgusting and your boyfriend's a cunt. Every penny he spends on you from his no doubt minimum wage shit job should be spent on his CHILD.

I sincerely hope you're a troll.

BollocksToBrexit · 04/01/2019 22:01

You're the same age as my DD and I can't help but feel pity for you. Why is your self worth so low that you'd shackle yourself to an utter scumbag for the rest of your life?

misskiki69 · 04/01/2019 22:02

I honestly don't think you're going to take on board any of the advice given to you. How can you even think about being with a man who does not want to know his own child. Even if he was absolutely amazing in every other way, the fact that he shows no interest in his own flesh and blood is as dad as it gets. This is why everyone is so shocked, they cannot understand why you would want a man like that.

crispysausagerolls · 04/01/2019 22:03

Be careful you don't overegg it Laura

Laura is like twelve dozen eggs over 😂😂😂

tartantroosers · 04/01/2019 22:03

Prize pair of cunts the pair of you. You'll be yesterday's chip paper by next Christmas.

LauraS92 · 04/01/2019 22:05

He has a good job and works over 40
Hours a week to provide for us. He pays for his child just doesn’t see her. I know it’s awful
I asked him earlier about it and he said he doesn’t want to see his child and only loves me and our children together and that his daughter was a mistake I don’t know what to do

OP posts:
LauraS92 · 04/01/2019 22:06

I think I’m going to split up with him

OP posts:
TooManyPuppies · 04/01/2019 22:07

Please don't have any more children. Ever.

Youbrokemytwatometer · 04/01/2019 22:07

You only have one child together and it's not born yet, so will benefit more if you get shot of the shit dad now rather than him abandon you all later

Smellbellina · 04/01/2019 22:10

I think you need to calm down tbh, he’s 22, DC’s dad was 22 when we had our first and he was immature and made some big mistakes. That was 10 years ago, people change. Hell I was a twat when I was 22, guess what, I grew up.

Bluntness100 · 04/01/2019 22:12

I think I’m going to split up with him

Is this real? You had a baby because you were jealous, and now you're going to bin him as he won't see his other child?

Smellbellina · 04/01/2019 22:15

Splitting up with him now seems a bit pointless

user1466783975 · 04/01/2019 22:19

Laura,do you understand what people on here are trying to explain to you?
What reasons do you have for splitting as i'm thinking you're just wanting to please the posters

U2HasTheEdge · 04/01/2019 22:22

You need lessons in how to troll.

You are now splitting up with him? Pull the other one.