Episode over Christmas about husbands affair

[mendingheart]

I recently wrote a post about getting over my husband's affair and getting over it.

Things had been going amazingly well as I received some very good advice about coping with things. I left for the holidays at my husbands fathers in such a good place. (Actually he left his wife after an affair so the environment feels slightly stressful to begin with).

Things had been going amazing on the trip. However, after a big day of drinking with the family, I took my anti-depressant and sort of blacked out. The night ended with me giving a big rant about my husband's affair recounting all the horrible details from gas lighting to the endless amount of lies he put me through and how I never deserved all this treatment. They never knew any of the details about what my husband put me through so everything came as a big shock.

I woke up the next morning completely mortified and couldn't remember anything. I woke up and immediately apologized to everyone individually, and was so remorseful. They weren't exactly accepting of my apology and everyone kind of yelled at me the next day. They think I am crazy. My apology didn't seem to be accepted and I was ignored by my husbands father, girlfriend and husband for the last day of the trip. I sent a thank you text for having me yet no-one responded. Yet all the while they have been texting my husband every day since we arrived back. I guess I am being ignored?

My husband said that this may also be the final straw for him. His dad has told him my behavior is completely unacceptable and he shouldn't tolerate it.

I have known them for almost a decade and they have never had anything bad to say about me - they truly loved me. Now I am worried I have damaged the relationship forever and that they hate me and never will forgive me. I really didn't mean anything that I said. I have just been through so much and it is there somewhere in my brain.

I have since stopped drinking and don't think I will return to it.

I am thinking of writing my husbands father an email to again apologize for my behavior.

Any other tips on how I can smooth things over? Will they ever forgive me?

Any advice is really welcome.

he didnt have the affair because of your clothes, body, make up

he did it because he wanted to and felt entitled to. And by the sounds of it, he still believes that and his family do, so he will likely on the surface play nice, but just try to cover his tracks better next time. and the time after that.

do not go to any more sessions with the marriage counsellor - it is advised to NOT have couple sessions alongside an abuser

and get the book Hissy says. She speaks sense here. Nothing will work if HE doesnt adddress the reasons why HE felt it was OK to do it. It is nothing to do with you. you cannot control that. just what you are prepared to put up with

Big squish to you NettleTea how the devil are you my darling?

Op, you deserve better. You really do

Im good Hissy xxx hope you are too

Like father, like son.

Both of them are knob heads and are putting the blame on you. You aren't to blame. Your husband is but he's too much of a twat to accept that.

You are being abused and manipulated. Until you recognise that he will continue to trample all over you. Charmed the therapist? Jesus wept!

This sounds like an entirely toxic family set up and your husband sounds like an arsehole.

Seriously op wtf are you doing staying with him?!