If you slept with someone else and completely regret it, would you tell your husband?

[threemine]

Just what the title says.

Yes. He deserves to know and make an informed decision. The perpetual lying and deceit of not telling him is just as bad as the actual cheating.

Yes, because he’d deserve to be the one who decided what happened next.

Yes because I wouldn't be able to live with the lie. He would deserve to know the truth and decide for himself if he wanted to divorce me.

No. Telling him just eases your conscience and hurts him. Vow never to do it again.

Absolutely. But telling him for the sole purpose of easing your own conscience would also make the "teller" a selfish arse.

There's no winning situation...except to not cheat in the first place!

No.

No

but then if I wasn't happy in my marriage, I'd leave/get divorced, then sleep with someone else. y'know, like a sensible person would do?

Yes because they have the right to decide if you shagging someone else is a deal breaker or not.

No

I’d probably address why you did it in the first place and go from there, tbh. Action needs to be taken but I guess it depends on why it happened

that sounds dickish but never meant to be! I am of the thought of telling, yes. But I think more needs to be done than just clearing a conscience

Absolutely not, but also make sure you completely compartmentalise this - no guilting and moping around. Throw yourself into recommitting to the relationship. Or leave.

I fully agree that doing it to salve your own conscience is appalling. For me it’s about giving the innocent party the chance to make their own choice.

But aye, not shagging someone else in the first place is obviously the decent thing to do.

I'm honestly happy in my marriage. He had been away and yea... I really do regret it :(

If it’s made you realise you really want to be with your husband and you’re definitely not going to leave - don’t say anything. Honesty isn’t always the best policy, it would make you feel better for relieving the guilt but it would make him feel awful, and if you want to be together don’t make it harder.

Depends on what you want to happen, Op.
If you want to throw the relationship into turmoil and not know how it’ll come out - yes - tell him....

If you want to stay in the relationship, and the curiousity about sleeping with another person - got cured, and you think you won’t go there again - Do NOT tell him.
Nothing to gain. Lots to lose.

Feel remorse and think about what made you to there. And think about what’s missing in you relationship and how that can be fixed.

If you were happy and in love with your dh you wouldn’t of shagged someone else? Or did your knickers/pants accidentally fall off?

Yes he deserves to know as only he gets to decide if he wants a future with a cheat or not!

Yes

No I wouldn't

If you really regret it and will have no more contact with this person keep quiet.

There's nothing wrong In your marriage and yet you shagged someone else?

Tell him, he has a right to know. And you will do it again. When the deep regret fades.

No .
If it really was a total mistake never to be repeated then it’s a no .
If it’s because your marriage is in trouble then yes.
Though if I’m honest , if my husband cheated I would want to know .

No
I can't see what that would achieve.

If my husband did it I would not want to know.

If you truly want to make this work then don't tell him and work on why you did it and if you ever do / think about doing it again, he has the right to know to make a decision.

I have never done it and i know if my DH did it, I would want to know but I'm not in your shoes.

No. What good would it bring? If you regret it then just ensure it doesn’t happen again. It could be worth addressing why and making sure you are happy.