If you slept with someone else and completely regret it, would you tell your husband?

[threemine]

Just what the title says.

No.
You live with the lie and the betrayal and pay for it. And you never do it again.

Or you tell and leave immediately

You don't tell someone to ease your conscience and hurt them twice.

Honestly 😔

I’d never do it in the first place.

However hypothetically I’d tell him as he deserves an informed choice on the marriage. I’d like to know if he’d slept with someone else.

In my opinion you don’t get to do something that heinous in a relationship and ALSO get to make the decision on the future of the relationship. You screwed up, he needs all the facts to make a decision on the future.

No.

If it was a mistake and you regret it then I just would forget about it.

Don't tell him unless you want to leave him. You fucked up for sure, but you sound like you totally regret it.

I would, I believe. I simply could not keep that to myself. I am not even sure if it is the ‚right‘ thing to do, I simply could not live with the secret.

YES!!!! Let him decide whether he wants to stay in an unfaithful relationship!!

If it was a one time mistake you hugely regret I would err on the side of no, because I think alieving your conscious is possibly more selfish than the lie if it would break him. BUT with the caveat that you should throw yourself fully into your relationship and make yourself someone worthy of his trust and if you come even vaguely close again in the future you stop anything before it happens and either leave your husband or give him the opportunity to leave you

At least I think that’s what I’d prefer my husband to do for me

I would.

If your husband slept with someone else, really enjoyed it at the time, and decided to keep it from you, would you want him to tell you?

No I wouldn’t.

I like to think I would.
But if there was no chance of him finding out I really don't think I would.

People make mistakes and are human - not saying it's ok but the puritanical attitudes on here to cheating can be a bit I get it's not good and it is hurtful and damaging but it happens

Must be something wrong in the relationship for you to consciously have decided to get naked, be intimate and spend the night with someone else surely? You could have walked away at any point, it's not something done on a whim.

Was it just a drunken one night stand or something planned?

I would want to know regardless. If you have any concept of empathy and compassion you need to tell him to allow him to decide.

No

Hell no why would you.

No way.

I'd work my ass off sorting myself out big time and really, deeply, earnestly pour my efforts into my marriage.

And I'd never repeat that mistake again.

Your husband deserves to have the choice if he wants to be with a cheat or not.

How would you feel if the boot was on the other foot?

I’d tell him, but it would break his heart. My view would be that he deserved to decide what happened next. There would also be something fairly significant underlying this for you to have cheated- hopefully you can work on this together.

No ..Don't tell him. You.made a mistake. Think about why you did it and don't do it again x

The moral thing to do is to tell your husband & let him decide whether it’s something he can forgive. Every moment you share with him until then is simply a lie.

Hopefully you respect him enough to do the right thing.

If you made a mistake and want the marriage to work, then no, don't tell him.
The ripple effects from infidelity are very wide and long lasting.
Just for instance, imagine next Christmas with your Inlaws, and them knowing all about it.
That's probably the best case scenario, worst is your husband walking away.
Work through the guilt, and never do it again.

I don’t understand how you can be happy in a marriage and do this. I’m not sure what the answer is, personally I would want to know.

Yes.

1. I wouldn't be able to keep it in, out of guilt but also because I tell my DP everything
2. it's my DP's decision whether or not I'm worthy to be with after fucking up this badly.
3. just out of respect
4. I'd want to know if it were me

Tell him and suggest couple's therapy

I don't think this is really something people decide to do based on what is right or wrong. People generally seem to tell if they can't get past the guilt and need to own up.

Was it planned?