If you slept with someone else and completely regret it, would you tell your husband?

[threemine]

Just what the title says.

However many times you've cheated, NEVER tell. Especially if there are children involved. Monogamy is a lie. If anything, your husband has probably cheated too.

Going by past posts I read women often seem to get sympathy from most posters - not all but most - for being cheating twats. Where as men get a dressing down. They deserve the dressing down but so do women. There's alot of double standards when it comes to cheating on this site.

Happens once or 10 times its still cheating and I'd want to know if it was my partner who did it as most here probably would. People don't accidentally sleep with someone.

Me too

I meant me too my advice toa man would be the same

Nope. Been there done that. Not telling was the best decision I ever made. I'd say the same to most people. Unless you want to break up your relationship, stay quiet.

I don't know what I'd do but I know if my (non-existant) DH did it I'd rather not know.

I think a slight bit of double standards on MN is fine. We're almost all women here and it's ok that we support each other slightly more. I bet on a predominantly male site they wouldn't be chastising each other for not always being equal and fair to women on every thread

Also we've generally got more to lose from a relationship going tits up, as we're likely to be left with responsibility for the dc and in a weaker financial position (on average)

Wow the amount of people that think this is ok.

I also don't take back what I said there is alot of double standards going by other posts regardless of everyone boasting they would give the same info. I have read it on here many times.

As a man, my take home message from these threads are

All me are cheating bastards and should be distrusted, suspected and dumped at the earliest sign of indiscretion

Women only cheat for a reason, and provided nobody ever finds out, its probably for the best in the long-run...

Nope. And if my dh did this once and truly regretted it, I honestly wouldn't want to know.

Yes he deserves to know as only he gets to decide if he wants a future with a cheat or not!

^^This.

Do you want an authentic relationship or not?

Or go through life when he won:t tell you either?

takes all sorts

I think a slight bit of double standards on MN is fine. We're almost all women here and it's ok that we support each other slightly more.

Wow... Well it's exactly what we have. Cheating is the one thing I find unforgivable and unacceptable. The amount of people who accept it is amazing when it suits them.
So thanks for being honest at least that you do admit you think it's more acceptable because it was only once and she's a woman...

Of course not, telling him would ease your own conscience only, make him feel worse and ultimately be a very selfish thing to do X

Women only cheat for a reason, and provided nobody ever finds out, its probably for the best in the long-run...

You'll fit right in here then because that's how 90% of MN feel. Well done for catching on fast.

No, I wouldn't, but I also wouldn't post on Mumsnet for advice on this one either.

TooMany I don't think cheating is more acceptable if a woman does it. You've missed my point, read it again if you want

Basically I think it's 0% acceptable in a monogamous relationship, but it's a plain fact that women will usually get the shittier end of the stick when a marriage breaks down

Oh sorry I just saw you used the word slut, now I wish I hadn't wasted my energy

No. In real life all moral twittering aside, I wouldn't.

I can't believe that so many people think that they don't owe their partner the truth. They most certainly do. It's despicable not to.

What would really piss me off about being cheated on is having the choice taken from me. If my partner admitted to it I'd have more respect for them if they had the decency to tell me and let me decide what to do than if they'd continued to deceive me and taken that choice from me.

Oh sorry I just saw you used the word slut, now I wish I hadn't wasted my energy

Sorry what is it you call someone that sleeps around then? Let me know and I'll soften it for you next time. Would hate to call it out how it is in case I offend...

I can't believe that so many people think that they don't owe their partner the truth. They most certainly do. It's despicable not to.

I agree with you. It definitely says alot about the posters here that's for sure.... I'm surprised at some of the replies but then not so much at others who do the same and think it's all good....

Tell the truth. He has a right to know.

Then HE can decide if he wants to be with you.

what is it you call someone that sleeps around then

Huge difference between that and someone who sleeps with someone else once and regrets it though.

Huge difference between that and someone who sleeps with someone else once and regrets it though.

LOL ok. It's ok to be a cheat and deceive your partner as long as you regret it. Wow an enlightenment right here... I'll remember that when the next person (likely a man) gets attacked for the same.

It's an offensive term for an offensive topic and action. If you get offended by it then good. It's meant to. Cheats are scum one time or a million. No two ways about it. No special treatment.