Dating Thread 144: Jingle Bells, Dating Tales, Single All The Way

[DaffoDeffo]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.
11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

[crappyday2018]

@Apparentlyacatch I hope he hasn't ghosted you when you had a date planned. That would be so bloody rude. I've been blocked after someone canceled a date but at least he cancelled.
What time was your date arranged for?
Sadly there is a chance he has changed his mind and is ignoring you. No clue why men do this. In my experience a lot of men just don't like dealing with things. They would rather remove the problem than deal with it (so to speak).

[crappyday2018]

@Dan89 give it time. What are your photos like? Do you have a few of them?

[MyOldBrainStoppedWorking]

Second date this afternoon. There won't be a third. He was nice enough but his life consists of work, sleep, eat.
There were lots of things he talked about wanting to do. But he'd never done any of them.

I seem to meet lots of men like this. They're witty and funny in their texts but in reality very boring.

I thought he might have FWB potential but lack of enthusiasm for anything is a major turn-off for me.

[Apparentlyacatch]

Well he finally messaged me back! Started off with 'if I'm totally honest...' I thought oh here we go! Turns out he's knackered from work and asked if we could just chill in first.

I am happy to do this but it is the first time we are meeting! Quite excited but nervous!

[DogDayMorning]

Apparently I'm glad he's been in touch but where are you going to 'chill in'? His place? Your place? You don't know the guy...

[wishywashy6]

@Apparentlyacatch what does just chilling involve? In all honestly I'd expect a bit of effort for a first date, no matter how knackered he is!
Don't want to put a dampener on things though if you're happy with it then I hope you have a lovely evening ☺️

[DogDayMorning]

Thanks wishy-washy, I meant to say that as well

[gettingstherehopefully]

MyOldBrain, I'm totally with you; I have a preference for men who are passionate about something. That get me going more than good looks.

Apparentlyacatch, I hope you can both chill together.

So, the man I've known since August, who I haven't slept with yet despite several lovely dates FINALLY answered my message I sent Tuesday (FFS). His response this afternoon might have been affectionate with several kiss emojis but I'm not going to answer him.

I am SO enjoying sorting the wheat from the chaff nowadays. It's liberating.

[MyOldBrainStoppedWorking]

Apparently that doesn't sound great. More like an excuse to get you to go to his place for sex.
Surely he can manage a quick drink in a pub.

[RaspberryGirl]

@Apparentlyacatch I wouldn’t go round to his house if it’s a first meet. Smacks of a lack of effort. Go out when he’s less tired.

I’m needing your thoughts as I’m feeling a bit embarrassed. Had a second date with a guy after a promising first one. He seemed quite eager to see me again. Second date he was holding my hand so I instigated a bit of kissing. It wasn’t great... Anyway the next day I get the ‘no spark text’ and ‘sorry’. The sorry bit annoyed me as I wasn’t totally feeling it but would have seen him again. Now I’m a bit mortified that I was kissing him and he was hating it but was too polite to say anything at the time . Am I torturing myself over nothing here?!

[gettingstherehopefully]

Yes RaspberryGirl. Please don't feel embarrassed. Some people are just not good kissers (him in this case). Maybe he sensed you weren't feeling it so just sent that message slightly out of self defence.

Chances are the next man you date will be a lot better at kissing!

[gettingstherehopefully]

Oh, Apparentlyacatch, just noticed that this man wants you to come round to his for the first date.

Nope.

[Dan89]

crappyday2018 I'm only on bumble currently. 3 pics which I like to think represent the best pics of me. I would generally average 1-2 swipes a month if I'm lucky. Funnily enough, I had to drive to the Midlands last week and on that day got 3 swipes. Maybe I'm just more attractive by comparison in other parts of the country? I've tried multiple approaches to the bio and this doesn't seem to get me anywhere. Short of sticking up pics of Tom Hardy I'm not sure what do to.

shit on bumble, you get a match queue where you get a number of people who have swiped right on you, but only if you've yet to swipe on them

[RaspberryGirl]

@gettingstherehopefully thanks but I don’t think it was in self defence. I know it doesn’t matter what he thinks but I hate the thought of me trying to instigate the physical and he was hating every moment of it. He was attractive but it was flat. I don’t know why I wanted to see him again if it felt awkward?! I think I have issues .

[DanielCraigsUnderpants]

Apparently. Please don't think I'm being a negative nelly but I'm not sure going to his house or having him at yours is a good idea. Just consider your personal safety. You don't know him. He could make the effort to meet you out. It's not like you're asking him to go rollerblading. Just talking in a pub or restaurant

[Dan89]

shitwithsugaron, yes that's the one, except mine more often has 1 or 0 in it! /

[WotcherHarry]

@Apparentlyacatch he’s not exactly pulling out all of the stops there
I finish a night shift on Tuesday morning and still meeting Mr Rail for a dog walk afterwards - I won’t exactly be fully rested but surely it’s about making an effort for someone that you’re interested in?

[RollsEyes]

Agree with others, @Apparentlyacatch. Remember that you are the prize. If he can't make the effort on a first date, he never will. You're setting your bar too low. I really hope you're not going to go to his house, he sounds very lazy. As your name says, you're the catch. Remind yourself of this, because he certainly doesn't seem to be one.

[Apparentlyacatch]

I'm ok everyone! He came to mine, I know that's silly and dangerous, I had people know what was going on, and I had to check in with them etc.

But! Had a fab evening, just watched a movie and chatted! Only stayed a couple of hours then left. Now it's that awful waiting game to see if they want to see you again!

[Lovemusic33]

Apparently I have had people over to mine for first dates before but I usually regret it as I either don’t like them or they don’t like me, if I don’t like them I then worry as they know where I live. One guy sent me gifts for quite a while after I gave him my address to pick me up for a 1st date.

I’m now worried about meeting Mr Vegan, had another look at his profile and I’m pretty sure he’s not 38 as stated in his profile, he says he has 2 children who are now in his 20’s, that would make him very young when he had kids (it’s possible but judging by his photo I suspect he is lying).

I had a lovely message from a 24 year old this morning telling me how much I turn him on, I was tempted to reply with “I would ruin you” but I just smiled and ignored whilst secretly thinking “ I’ve still got it” 🤣