Message from DH's colleague

[Drinkthruastraw]

Wrapping Xmas presents in our bedroom last night, DH's phone charging and WhatsApp message pinged and came up on screen, so I glanced, then had a proper look as it was 4 love heart emojis! It was from a colleague who he's worked with for 10 years, never had any vibes about anything untoward although I know they're friends. So I read the chain - her asking him what he thought of a new joiner, his reply, and then wishing him a merry Xmas and saying "I love you"!!! He then said it back with a kiss then she sent the 4 hearts!

Just not sure what to make of it. She was on the train as they'd been out for drinks (with others) so I'm veering between she was a bit tipsy and getting all sentimental or they're having a wild affair!

I'm being really off with him and he has no idea why - can't tell him I've read the messages and I do think there's nothing going on and they've just been friends for years but it's a bit inappropriate!

Thoughts?

if it's harmless then why doesn't her husband tell her ? why keep it a secret that you tell a colleague that you love each other to your husband/wife ?

One of the problems the English language has is the multiplicity meanings of the word "love"
Japanese , i believe, has 16 words to define different kinds of love .

We can have that feeling of love for our children that is so intrinsic and deep that we will kill or die to save them..... or say we "love " a particular food. We can love our best friends in a different way than we love our lovers... ie sexual partners.

Maybe if our language was more defined we would get less confusion like this.

I have a bow ex male colleague and we tell each other we love each other. We do love each other and are extremely close in that if one of us is having a shit time we meet up to chat.

I've looked through my message history and we've said I love you, I miss you etc.

There is 100% nothing sexual, we are both really happily married and actually if one of us was being unfaithful they'd get a right dressing down by the other one.

It is 100% a platonic relationship! So OP I would not worry!

Given that you saw the hearts, it was ENTIRELY REASONABLE that you then looked at the preceding messages. You had every right to know more, and that trumped any qualms about looking.

Innocent or not, your husband exchanged ‘I love you’ and received hearts from another woman. This upset you (rightly so) and he needs to explain. Your feelings are VALID.

Be PROACTIVE. You need to bring this out into the open, out of respect for your marriage and for your own peace of mind. It is not too late. You can say that you’ve been processing it all.

Why are you so afraid to tell him exactly what you saw and how it made you feel?