Help me not kill my FIL.

[Pebblespony]

We're off to visit my in-laws. FIL is the world's biggest boaster. He's always on about how fucking great he is. We're going for a meal and he'll be telling long stories featuring himeslf, his favourite hero, about how brilliant he was at his job before he retired. He was a postman. He told me once with a straight face that he was the world's best postman. Usually I get drunk and ignore him. I can't drink tonight. I need a coping strategy!

Ha ha! Love this!

Just talk over him.

Don't react to any anecdote.

Spill something on him accidentally....

Why don’t you channel Julia Davis in any of her astoundingly hideous characters?

That or genuinely start grilling him about Royal Mail competence frameworks and watch him ingest himself

Its the graceful way I went up the post office steps that made me a champion postie op.

Please provide us with a running commentary.
He’s such a big headed arse you could even show him this threa. He loves himself and his mediocrity so much any attention is better than none.

Ornhow about spy all the answers then kick his arse at trivial pursuit I did this with my FIL once and he almost had a coronary

He went to the hospital. The doctors were very glad if his medical knowledge. He set them straight on a few medical facts.

Nobody knows more about technology than him. Fact.

DH had the best childhood ever.

DH is good at his job. If FIL had been in that industry, he would have probably been a CEO. He has such good ideas.

I shouldn't have read this thread. It's making me cross in anticipation of how much MIL is going to annoy me on Xmas Day.

I'm on this thread for the night

Tell a story about another postie you know who is really embarrassed by his job and tells everyone he is an airline pilot.

Do the nose staring thing and report back!

Are you like one of those court recorders tapping away whilst he talks

Have you started yawning yet?

Is he donald trump?

He has a huge hat collection. He's not sure if it's the biggest but he's never met anyone with a bigger hat collection. We're waiting for our mains. I might drown myself in my (unfortunately water-filled) wine glass.

I think I'd be reaching for that butter knife haha! Well done op for your restraint thus far!

He sounds insane. I apologise but I’m really enjoying this.

Try and get the word "Juxtaposed " into the conversation ... my DH and I do this whenever we are out for a laugh. Especially if we are bored ! Then tell us if you mange it !

Start replying to everything he says with quotes from Spinal Tap.

Sorry but I love the live updates!

I would go with 'That's nice' yawn and repeat!

Hahaha, brilliant updates OP

SIL keeps feeding FIL lines to get him to tell stories. I'm going to murder her.

@Pebblespony lol! Maybe she's taking the piss?

Perhaps SIL is secretly on the same mission as you OP!!