Dating Thread 143 Can Anybody Find Meeeee Somebody to Love!

[DaffoDeffo]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Can I ask a tinder question?

I don't want to be on tinder at the moment - I turned it on for a day but don't want to while sorting out things with Mr Disappearing.

I had turned off the buttons that means I appear in the card stack but someone just showed me my profile . How is that possible? Is there a setting I haven't turned off?

I am tempted to delete my account if the security is so bad my profile still appears even when I'm supposed to be hidden

daffo Could it be you were in the stack before the servers refreshed. Honestly, I have no clue though. I've just did the same on bumble but of course, I have no one to test it with

Great news rich 🙂

Enjoy your date midcentury and anyone else who is dating today.

daffo that is worrying about tinder. I have my card hidden and just assumed that no one except my current matches could see my profile. How did they find you? Was it just swiping through?

Daffo I assume you clicked the button to hide your profile. And if you try and do any swiping it says 'your profile is hidden' and there's no cards to swipe?
That should be all you need to do. The person who showed you your profile, had they just come across it or were they swiping before you went hidden and saw you then?
If the later then the stack hasn't refreshed.

I've deleted my profile and sent an angry message to Tinder. I think I appeared in some sort of pile. I hid my profile more than a week ago fgs

Hello!

I have a date tonight which for some reason I'm really nervous about !

I think partly because I have to drive so no drink to take the edge off my nerves !

Can I give you all a loo update later ?? I think I've bored everyone I know IRL to death with my (very dull) OLD career...

How do I stop being nervous ?! This is far from my first online date!?!

Eek!

Good luck 101trees you'll be fine once your there!! Play some upbeat music in the car!

101trees first dates are full of nerves for everyone, your date is probably feeling the same

Just give it your all and enjoy being in the moment

Good luck!

101trees Good luck! Your nerves will die down once you get into it

@trees how exciting!! Good luck, take deep breaths, you will be fine, enjoy!!

Mid date update.... 5th date with MrAbs, who is currently washing up after serving up a delicious (after customary shag) roast dinner. I quote "We are definitely more than FWB, and he sees us as being in a relationship". He lit candles on the table and everything so he must be serious , who knew?! Still fancy the pants off him and he can cook. I may be done for .

Hope everyone else's weekend dates have gone well. Will catch up properly tomorrow, when I'm not in a red wine/post shag/chicken roast haze...

myoldbrain well done for getting the snog.
But if you're not feeling it,i'm not sure if he will be a grower?
My second date man did not message me until late last evening. Throughout the day I had quick log ins on pof and lo and behold he was on there,all the time!?
He messaged me he had been at golf all day and just got in,this was about 10pm. Hmmmm
I messaged 'hope you had a lovely day and hope you find what you're looking for :) '.
He questioned that with what do you mean but I've left it.
If two great dates didn't do it for him and he's still searching,i'm done with shit men! Will go back to dating in jan. onwards and up!

Third date arranged for tomorrow night :)

I'm nearly 2 months into messaging with MrPB, we've had one very short date and while he repeatedly says he wants to see me again nothing happens, just excuses, some previous woman did something to hurt him but he doesn't say what, can't imagine it being anything worse than my exH did during my marriage/divorce so it's all very disappointing but he's nice to talk to so I'm still talking to him, albeit it's cooled down since I told him it needed to as we're getting nowhere.

Anyway, here's my dilemma, I think it should go without saying that there's no commitment after one date and so I'm still on OLD and talking to other men, but I've not said so explicitly, so do I tell him if I go on a date? It feels wrong even though it isn't.

Thank you for the input guys - the wisdom on this thread is spot on.

I am being VERY wary...... And definitely in the mindset until I've met him it's all bollocks and fantasy 😂🤣

I'm going to ask about a video call this week - say that the wait for the next few weeks is quite ridiculous and I'm getting impatient. I think that will help with some of my curiosity.

I just don't buy that anyone who is putting in this level of effort is stringing along but stranger things have happened.

Wah! Must stay grounded. Must stay grounded.

🙈

Well done jesuis sounds fab

I met someone tonight but it was awful. I cannot get Mr Disappearing out my head and tbh I think it's unfair on anyone else that I try and see them till I have sorted my head out.

I read back my posts and think I must just get through the next few weeks and then make a call. By that stage I either need to delete MrD and never ever see him again or we need to make something of it and in the interim I cannot see anyone else as I'm just not engaging.

I'm actually cross with myself, really cross as I shouldn't have let it get this far with MrD where I am left hanging like this but we are where we are and I just have to get through the next few weeks. I suspect it will end up with me deleting him and him me but at least then it will be a clean start. I worked out today we have actually been seeing each other on and off for 6 months, longer than I thought

likeriding You can tell him. No need to feel bad because you're not exclusive so if you tell him, he'd have to just take it as it is and he knows what to do if he wanted to keep things going

daffo Just had a bit of read of the last thread and honestly, please don't feel bad. He's clearly been a bit flakey and unreliable before the family tragedy he's had but honestly, he can't really treat you like that esp when you're hanging and his name is even MrDisappearing... You can give him that one more chance or do what you say, delete him.

Forgive me if I'm wrong though since I've only read a few pages.

I've been a bit scared to message anyone on bumble who do stay matched. Most guys just unmatch once they actually read the bio that says I use in a wheelchair so swipe left if you're not into that or something along the lines of that.

I just pretended I went on a date with a lovely guy.
Someone who I met the other week asked me what I had been doing today..
His response.

Are you serious?

Thanks madcat - your words mean a lot

I matched with a lovely bloke on bumble who was in a wheelchair (lost his legs in Afghanistan). We were looking for different things but he was wonderful.

Know that even without that wheelchair you would be getting a lot of knock backs - you can see it on the thread! - so try and be brave. I know how hurtful it can be but nothing ventured, nothing gained x

And..
If you went on a date with someone then I have no right to message you anymore.

Ok catch you later

He said that unique?

Yes

Dear oh bloody dear