Why did he block me? I fucking hate him

[HoldOnWaitAMinuiteNow]

We were together 8 months. It was amazing. He is definitely the man I want to have a future with.

He broke up with me citing the reasons that he needed to focus on work and so took a job in another country.

I have 2 dc so obviously couldn’t move with him.

A month after he left, i WhatsApped him a message to say hi and that I missed him.

A few days later he called to apologise for not responding and to tell me he’d met someone.

I played it cool and said fine. We can still be friends right? He said ok. But then he blocked me. I know he’s blocked me because none of the messages I sent have gone through.

What the fuck is his problem?

”proper love making”
What is this???

Never mind that, I want to know what Improper Love Making is.

Why is it that he had to have someone else? Maybe he met someone he clicked with more. It's beside the point, though, he blocked the OP to move on.

OP, please work on your boundaries and self-esteem before dating again. It sounds like you got way too involved and over-invested in this far, far too soon.

At 8 months you don't really know a person much at all in a dating scenario, and when you already have kids you need to take it more slowly. Someone telling met they wanted kids with him that early on when I already had two would be a red flag to me.

All too often these types of intense relationships do not last.

Needing space, coming back for one last shag, "finding" someone so soon, blocking you ... he had someone else all along.

He played you.

Op I am sorry but you need to get a grip.

He left you. If he still loved you he would still be with you.

I know it hurts but you have to accept it.

He blocked you because you wouldn't accept it and continued messaging him.

Focus on your own life and making yourself happy. Somebody better will be along.

Needing space, coming back for one last shag, "finding" someone so soon, blocking you ... he had someone else all along.

Not necessarily. Maybe he found the OP too needy and possessive. It happens. I'm more inclined to agree with SGB. And at any rate, he's blocked. Time to move on.

OP I think you’re getting a hard time here - it’s clear that you’re heartbroken and in shock. Lots of us have been there and it’s a truly horrible place to be. Be kind to yourself and put your time and energy into your kids.

But honestly, I think blocking you was the kindest thing he could have done. It means you won’t be wasting your time messaging him, won’t be wondering if/when he’ll reply and won’t torture yourself checking him on social media (been there, done that!)

It’s truly horrible to go through but you will get through it and come out stronger the other side.

I think Gotye wrote a song about this sort of experience. If it helps, I routinely blocked exes when I was dating and advise others to do the same if there are no lasting ties such as kids or property, particularly if the relationship was short term, like yours. Makes it easier for everyone to move on.

Oh OP, The something very similar has just happened to me, He told me loved me, wanted me, wanted a future with me blah blah blah, Then just sent me a text to say it was done, and that he doesnt want me and never did. It really is heartbreaking and I can totally sympathise with you, I would tend to agree with PP and say times a healer, but im starting to doubt that, All I can say is take every minute at a time, concentrate on yourself and focus on the important things like children and work. I keep myself busy, If i dont, and I stop, I crumble, every morning is a new struggle, but at night I realise I got through another day.Scream at the top of your lungs, throw things, punch a pillow, do whatever you need to do to get it all out, it doesnt help keeping it in. Heart break truly is the worst.

Of course people can fake emotions. How do you think actors manage on stage/in films?

I think we have all been there at some time. Mine was 20 years ago. I was really into him, and we had a very intense relationship which I was sure because we both felt the hots for each other.

The thing is, as everyone else has said, you just need to dust yourself down and move on. It's a horrible feeling - I know I felt really humiliated. It really is kindest that he blocked you - at least you can't make an idiot of yourself.

I blocked anyone I had dated when it came to an end, found it easier to deal with and couldn’t be arsed with them cropping up again in the future. FWIW I didn’t ask my DP to block his ex but when she randomly messaged him a month or so after we met, his immediate reaction was to block her. So his new GF probably doesn’t know shit about you, he just doesn’t want you messaging him anymore because he’s moved on. The friends thing never would have worked, you’re too into him.

Op I know it hurts I've been there.

But..

He's not into you, all this making love rubbish, no it was sex, only sex to him, and now he's fucking the other one.

Please try and be kind to yourself, he's a loser.

Next time, don't let your kids meet a boyfriend so soon and let them start "adoring" him and fgs get wise to the "I love you, I want you to have my babies" bullshit

You feel like you lost tjhe love of your life, he just enjoyed a little fling. You are clearly pages apart, no matter what he said at the time

Find your self respect, give yourself a slap and move on

No one knows him and his reasons and it's all speculation. It could be that he loved you but not enough to sacrifice moving abroad or having to take on someone else's children. However much I love my friends' children, it would be something else having to live with them and look after them emotionally and financially.

8 months is quite a long time in my book but I guess it's about the time that a relationship starts getting comfortable and the new in love/lust settles and he may have found that what there was wasn't enough.

When I broke up with an ex after 10 years and I knew he was still in love with me, I went very low contact because I cared about him and wanted him to move on more easily. He was my best friend and had I been selfish I would have carried on chatting with him. It wasn't until hewas serious with someone else that I started talking more to him.

Regardless of his reasons and I can imagine how much you're hurting right now, blocking you is the kindest thing to do to you and you will move on faster.

It’s probably better that he has. Otherwise you’ll hold onto it too much. This way the pain is short and sharp but you can rebuild and move on.

Op you asked earlier why i said that way lies doom - you clearly cant let him go, you would NOT be friends with him, you'd be moping around after him hoping he'd change his mind. He doesnt want that and after a few months of NC and meeting someone else, you'll be embarassed at the thought of it!

Same thing happened to me this year op.

My ex told me things like she felt gutted that she didn't feel that I would looking for what she has to offer, that she had never felt a connection like what we had, that she'd never gotten on with someone as well as me, that she had never had a boyfriend that she could consider a best friend, that I was the most amazing cuddler she had ever experienced, etc etc.

It's all just words and actions speak louder than words. A lot of it was classic lovebombing. She dumped me and most likely for someone else.

Give it time and you'll be fine.

It’s not unusual to come out of a shitty relationship and seek the ‘one’ ASAP. He was astute enough to know you were in the market for a bit of future faking and he has obliged but you were dating, which is about getting to know the other person without the burden of talk of babies etc.

It was very unwise to involve your children in your fairytale and hopefully you will be more cautious next time.

Let it go, he has and scapegoating the new gf, as some have suggested, is pointless and a cop out.

What AnyFucker said.

Anyone else got Barry White songs on the brain now?!

It doesn't matter why he blocked you. It is over, he has gone and it doesn't matter. You can wonder until your grave and you will never know and neither will any of us posting on this thread, because we're not inside his head.

What matters is you and your reaction to it. The break up of a relationship is always hard and you are still not over it, which is understandable. It sounds like you were in love with him and had formed a strong connection. You have to grieve for what you've lost - which is perfectly normal and you wondering why he blocked you is probably part of that, because you are still invested in what he is thinking.

Anger is one of the stages to go through, so it is probably good that you are angry about this - only three more stages to go.

Do nice things for yourself, remember that you don't need any other person to make you whole, you are complete just as you are and try and slowly put him out of your thoughts.

Big hug to you - it is shit, but you'll get there.

he has returned home to his girlfriend I imagine

Perhaps wait longer next time before introducing the dc, and letting them get attached