Why did he block me? I fucking hate him

[HoldOnWaitAMinuiteNow]

We were together 8 months. It was amazing. He is definitely the man I want to have a future with.

He broke up with me citing the reasons that he needed to focus on work and so took a job in another country.

I have 2 dc so obviously couldn’t move with him.

A month after he left, i WhatsApped him a message to say hi and that I missed him.

A few days later he called to apologise for not responding and to tell me he’d met someone.

I played it cool and said fine. We can still be friends right? He said ok. But then he blocked me. I know he’s blocked me because none of the messages I sent have gone through.

What the fuck is his problem?

Loads of men have told me I'm the best they've ever had in terms of sex. And I've felt great having sex with them too. I'm not with any of them though.

I have a FWB who says I'm the best he's ever had. I find him pretty good. When we have sex it's great. Neither of us is in love but you would think we were if you saw us in bed.

Anyway, OP, you need to move on. And grow up a bit.

MasterSensei

'Get under someone else...'. Best expression I've heard in ages..😂😂

The sex thing. Great sex. For you, for him, whatever.

I'm an old lady now , but the more I think about it the more I reckon its really not the sex.

Men might love sex with you, but if they don't "love" you, its not going anywhere.

Never bother trying to build up a sexual relationship only. With only this, no other serious factors, it won't mean anything to them.

There are exceptions, but this is the reality.

Its a bit odd. Its a bit sad. Alot of women find it confusing and put loads of effort into being "sexually attractive". Some men might go along with it. But what most men want is something else. Who knows what that is, it depends on the man.

But don't rely on sexual attraction being the deal-breaker, and don't assume yours is theirs. Its all a bit sad though. Especially, of course, if you thought there was a "real connection". Sometimes men are interested in money, class, and so forth, its a bit ruthless, but its the truth. Watch "Room At the Top" starring the handsome Laurence Harvey for more on this ....

The one thing I take comfort in is that I bet he’ll never have better sex with anyone. We were incredible in bed together

How old are you OP?? sorry, you say you have two chuldren but this along with you why the fuck her not me, and your absolute refusal to take on board what a lot of people have said your giving the impression quite young.

OP it might have been the best sex to you. It obviously wasnt to him.

Sorry he wanted a quick shag, im sorry your hurt.

But MOVE ON

Oh OP, you are a drama llama. You need to suck it up and move on with your life. He’s just not that into you. If he was, he’d be with you. No one pisses about in real life, handwringing, having shit sex with their girlfriend while thinking of their ‘true love’ in another country. He didn’t choose you. He doesn’t want you - he’s chosen his new life and has moved on and for the sake of your sanity (because frankly the more you post the more I understand his need to block you) get on with your life. You aren’t living in a romcom, he’s not coming back to you and I promise, he’ll be more than satisfied with his sex life - i suggest you seek the same with someone new too.

I know that life as a single Mom can get lonely and boring, this man provided a good distraction from this. Maybe your previous relationships were nit as good as this was. I feel for you. Block him back and grieve for him. Maybe talk to a relationship therapist?

I have been single for a long time as men send me bonkers. Im best off alone.

You are thinking far too much and too deeply about what he thought, felt, said etc and the truth is you actually have no idea, you are living in a fantasy world. Take the very good advice that you've been given here. Stop thinking about him, it's over and he's gone. You're rewriting history in your head while he isn't thinking about you and couldn't give a shit anyway. Step up, for DCs and yourself. Good luck

You have only been together for eight months I think,,and you had a good time with him for a while, but seems that his heart was not in this relationship big time.

Its easy to have nights of great lovemaking and special words etc,but sometimes it can be meaningless to some people.
It sounds like you are a bit lonely now, so this has hit you big time, whilst he has moved on to other things. Hope you will get over your heartache soon.

But I do agree that his new partner has probably asked him to block me.

He may just be a decent bloke and knows it the correct thing to do for both you and for the person he is with now

The more you tell her this man is a decent bloke the more she will grieve his loss. She will wonder why he couldn't be a decent bloke with her and believe that deep down he is and she can prove it if given the chance.

Give the op a break.

He isn't a decent bloke. A decent bloke wouldn't have toyed with her or her children. Op believe and trust that you are well rid.

Only on MN can a chap date a woman with children and it be toyed with her and her children 🙄

You can totally fake proper love making .... did it for years with my ex husband

You heard what you wanted to hear and you're clinging on to it

If he really loved you, he wouldn't be able to block you.... and he wouldn't want to

You'll move on from this OP as much as it doesn't feel like it now

Be kind to yourself

@ivykaty44 but he did break up with OP then come back, have sex with her, go back again and had a new girlfriend (within a few weeks). It's not the worst crime but it isn't toying with someone a bit to have sex with them if you have no intention of speaking to them anymore....

Jeezo you were only with him 8 months, you can’t have been that attached. He just didn’t and doesn’t feel the same about you as you do about him. Move on and I don’t think there’s any point being “friends” either.

Cant have been that attached after 8 months!? That is not how it works.

The one thing I take comfort in is that I bet he’ll never have better sex with anyone. We were incredible in bed together

Bless you OP I can really really sympathise with you, everything you're feeling I've felt too.
I was married for 9 years (together for 14) but the marriage was fairly mundane and not full of love. We were best mates, but there was little passion
When I ended the marriage I got with a guy and it was totally the opposite, full of all the things my marriage had been missing (as it happens he turned out to be a total waste of oxygen but that's another thread!) but the sex was amazing in comparison to anything I'd had before. We connected. The highs were so so good, but in no way worth the lows that came with it. I finally got rid of him but went through everything you're feeling now. I genuinely believed I'd never 'make love' or connect with anyone in that way again sexually
Fast forward a year and I'm with someone else, fuck me the sex is amazing the love making even better and do you know what? I know that if this one doesn't work then I'll be ok and I'll find it again
You'll be stronger in a few months OP and you'll look back and realise this wasn't right for you.

Cant have been that attached after 8 months!? That is not how it works.

Why not? Yeah it’ll smart a bit as getting dumped always does but you just don’t form deep emotional bonds with someone in that length of time.

And I do know how relationships “work” ta, I’ve been married for 15 years.

I knew you were married. No relationship worthy if it it doesnt turn out to be a marriage. I bet if your now husband had ended it after 8 months and people had said to you "geezo you cant have been that attached after only 8 months" you would have though they were lacking a lot of empathy.
OP probably will bounce right back but this thread her way of dealing with it.

I have had brilliant relationships ended out of the blue because i have kids and they dont. So being married doesnt give you any huge great understanding of anything in particular except that yr own marriage is going.

Where did I say I thought relationships that weren’t marriage weren’t “worthy”? I had numerous relationships before I met my current partner. 8 months is nothing and while as I said yes it smarts it’s not nice being dumped but she’s wallowed enough, time to dry her eyes, grow up and move on.

The one thing I take comfort in is that I bet he’ll never have better sex with anyone. We were incredible in bed together

Don't bet your house on it. It seems like you highly rate your sexual performance...if he's a great lover...he'll be great with others and they can make the earth move between them.

You do come across as rather immature. A relationship is more than sex.

He might be the best you've ever had...but the reverse is not necessarily the case.

In your post. You said she cant have felt attached after 8 months. Id have said to you when you'd been with your to be husband 8 months "if you're not feeling attached after 8 months, dont marry him".

Feelings are very strong after 8 months. Can hardly think of a worse time for it to end.

I have been married btw.

Obviously anybody on here mourning the end of a relationship should pick themselves up and move on but try to show empathy. Try to be understanding and kind.

Posters can be blunt and blunt can be good. It can help a poster still seeing the best in some cocklodger (eg) smell the coffee.

But saying she cant have been that attached after 8 months is a really weird comment.

@themagician I totally agree. Every relationship I've had at 8 months it was definitely full on in love stage and I've only ever had long term relationships. Can't imagine anyone staying with someone for 8 months and not feeling completely besotted at that stage.

I think some posters are being really harsh. I’ve seen on here and experienced myself more upset at the end of a shortish relationship than the end of a marriage.

Re the sex it’s possible it was the best sex ever but agree with pps that there is more to a relationship than the sex which is why people with mismatched sex drives get together.